posted
How do set up a particular area or city a story takes place in?
Is this something that should be known right from the start?
How long can you wait before this is revealed?
I’m having a hard time as my story takes place in my hometown of Hampton Roads, Virginia.
Why’s this so hard you ask? Well, there’s no such city as Hampton Roads.
There’s Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Chesapeake, Portsmouth, Hampton, Newport News, and Suffolk (“The Seven Cities”) but no Hampton Roads.
How do I explain that without info dumping???? It’s not like it’s Hollywood or DC where I can mention the Hollywood sign or the Jefferson Monument in passing and instantly let the reader know where the action is taking place.
Furthermore, something like this “Ginger Davenport’s head throbbed in rhythm with Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” which seemed to be emanating from every corner of Baby Dolls, a gentlemen’s club in Portsmouth, Virgnia.” just seems lame.
I suppose that I could bring it up in dialogue, but that kinda seems obvious when attempted.
quote:How do set up a particular area or city a story takes place in?
You have a fine, if slightly awkward, start further down in your post. Let's look at that first:
quote: ...from every corner of Baby Dolls, a gentlemen’s club in Portsmouth, Virgnia.
How about changing it just slightly, to, say:
"...from every corner of Baby Dolls, Portsmouth's premiere gentlemen’s club."
Then in the next few breaths, you can make mention of Virginia Beach or some other very well known city or landmark in Virgina, thereby solidifying your setting as the state of Virginia, currently in the city of Portsmouth.
quote:Is this something that should be known right from the start? How long can you wait before this is revealed?
If the setting is at all relevant, and IF the POV character knows where s/he is, or if you are using omni, then yes, the setting should be known fairly early on. This gives the reader something with which to anchor. Setting, be it familiar to the reader or not, serves to draw them into the story. I read your sentence and said to myself, "Ah, Virginia! Never been there, but I know where it is. I am at least passingly familiar with some of the culture (Southern) that is apt to be there. I know a little about the geography there: mountains on the west, the Atlantic ocean on the east, beautiful horse country in between. I can relate." You have given me an anchor into the story.
Had I been from another country, I might have known nothing more than that Virgina is a place in the United States. Even then I have an anchor: I know to expect a foreign and hopefully exciting culture!
quote:I’m having a hard time as my story takes place in my hometown of Hampton Roads, Virginia.
Why’s this so hard you ask? Well, there’s no such city as Hampton Roads.
There’s Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Chesapeake, Portsmouth, Hampton, Newport News, and Suffolk (“The Seven Cities”) but no Hampton Roads.
How do I explain that without info dumping????
Weave it in as a part of your story:
One of your characters could think, or express, annoyance that their home town is not officially recognized as a town. The character could muse that the nearby towns of _________ and __________ are well known, even though only slightly larger than Hampton Roads.
S/he could wonder why the town elders have chosen not to incorporate as a township, or consider their reasons for not doing so.
A stranger could be passing through the town and be bewildered that it is not on the map, but note that it is in between the towns of __________ and ____________.
In both cases you not only give the information that this town is not officially recognized, but also where it is in relation to other towns that are.
That's just a few ways to give the information without giving a dry dissertation on the town that isn't. I'm sure others can help you think of equally wonderful, or even better, ways.
posted
Hi John! Good to see you haven't forgotten about us here!
I think in the case of your story, it is enough that the reader knows you're starting off in a gentleman's club. It could be anywhere; the exact location isn't really important until further into the story. I think you could work in details subtly. i.e. Kevin is attending Virginia Tech; Ginger said in her southern accent; “Nah, my buddy’s [b] OFF ENJOYING SOME SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY,” he responded, pointing to the half empty highball glass across the table. “Someone had to watch the drinks.”; Casey could be up in Richmond or down in the Carolinas instead of San Fran.
posted
Thanks that helps a bit (though I’m still open to suggestions).
Setting is kind hard. As Robyn_Hood knows, originally the story was set in LA, which was easy enough I could be vague and everyone has preconceived notions of the place, but I knew nothing about it.
Setting it in VA help me with the locations, but I think I'm getting bogged down in nuances familiarity brings.
Really want to mention what sh!thole P-Town (Portsmouth) is, and how there's like 8 strip clubs all on the same street. (it’s a really old, industrial, impoverished, port city with like ONE nice area)
I'm just having a hard time in general with writing right now. I have a suspicion of what caused it in part.
TOO MUCH nonfiction reading. Became obsessed with late 18th century American history. But that’s my next topic…
posted
On thing to consider is that the inside of Baby Dolls is a distinct setting from Portsmouth. You're trying to set the scene of a particular gentleman's club. If you like, you can mention ways in which this club in Virginia differs from an otherwise similar club in LA or Vegas. But it really isn't that important for the reader to know what state this club is in until you leave (unless some troopers show up or something like that).
This is one essential point of a gentleman's club, as I understand the concept...when you're inside, you aren't worried about what's outside. I could be mistaken. But it is definitely something that is true of buildings generally. The point of a building is to create an inside distinct from the outside. Sure, you can easily find ways to tell alert readers that this club is located in Virginia rather than Texas or Alaska, but you don't need to do so.
posted
Maybe start by having something happen down by the shipyards, or at the Naval Base, or Naval hospital, then move to the club. I think the hospital, base, and shipyards are pretty well known.
posted
Maybe a line or two either contrasting the presence of the strip club with the niceness of the surrounding town, or comparing the presence of the club.
IE.
Ginger Davenport's head throbbed in rhythm with Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" which seemed to be emanating from every corner of Baby Dolls. Only one thing could be worse--if the music were turned down enough to allow the shrieks of the Hampton Roads town morality vigil to be heard from outside.
OR
Ginger...Baby Dolls. Maybe she'd step outside for a minute, get a breath of fresh air. But the air in Hampton Roads was anything but fresh. Stale, almost greasy with industrial smut that pumped constantly into the atmosphere. And with the ten other clubs jammed along this strip of Skidmore Avenue she'd most certainly be hit on by some drunken a**hole who hadn't been able to find his car down at Northern XXXposure.
posted
All combined, your suggestions REALLY help.
So, there's not need to put in the state in the beginning. I like the Portsmouth's “premiere” gentlemen’s club suggestion. (I'll probably change it to “hottest” or “biggest and newest” nightclub)
Then I can establish it's Virginia a few pages later (and this is where the state does come into play) as I have a scene already written the describes Ginger getting ready to go out on stage.
Without getting into TOO much detail (ask Ms. Hood she reviewed the first chapter and found out some things about strip clubs she could've done without knowing) Virginia state law requires that the back of a strippers bottoms be like 3 inches wide in any establishment that serves alcohol. Also, a bikini top or bra must be worn on stage----except in Portsmouth where pasties are allowed. (then there’s the VIP rooms, but I digress… ) So, these are things she has to keep in mind as she gets ready.
So, sound like I’m on the right track??
JOHN!
PS: Don’t ask me how I know so much about strip clubs…
John!, I think it was an earlier version of the opening where you contrasted Baby Doll's with the other strip joints close by. i.e. The others were full-strip clubs that didn't serve booze, Baby Doll's was topless only but served alcohol.
I don't know how you would want to re-introduce that description, but perhaps it could be worked in somewhere close to the beginning.
Otherwise I have to agree with Survivor. Sure you mentioned L.A. in the first sentence, but I didn't think about it the entire time I read the chapter. All I cared about was that it was inside the club. You made a few west coast references but I didn't really pay too much attention to them.
You can make small references, but until you get to Ginger and Casey actually going out into the city, I don't really need a lot of information.
Printer-friendly view of this topic
