posted
I'm trying to brainstorm a female character, and I was wondering if some of you would be kind enough to describe the weirdest, most bizarre-O women you've either read about or actually met.
I don't want to restrict this to either sympathetic or non-sympathetic personalities. Rather, I'm curious as to what patterns might develop. That is, assuming enough people respond to create a recognizable pattern.
Fine. I knew a girl who was in the Marines who walked like a clown -- she had huge feet, and they pointed otuward as she walked. Very odd.
She also "dipped" chewing tobacco -- smoked two packs a day, could outdrink any Marine in our barracks... slept with most of the Marines.
Then she married a Marine so the two could collect extra benefits. Got pregnant (no one knows who the father was). Got out of the military on that basis. Got an abortion. Became a stripper in that same military town we were stationed in. Became an addict. And then, last I heard, decided that she preferred women.
How's that for bizzare? Bizzare enough?
Really, if you want bizzare, just make something up... that's the whole idea of writing.
Fictional characters, I'd say the lady in Stephen King's "Misery" was about as wacky as they come. You could find loads of brainstorming material in that novel.
My wife is a special Ed teacher on post, and one of teacher’s aids is a bit interesting, but I don't think she fits into the bizarre-O catagory.
This particular lady looks just like the stereotypical schoolmarm: shy, skinny, a bit on the plain side, with wire-framed glasses.
Well, this woman organizes get-togethers with the other woman on post and sells sex toys. They’re like kinky Tupperware parties. No men are allowed; she only does business with other women.
[This message has been edited by Corpsegrinder (edited February 08, 2005).]
posted
Oh! No problem! One of my former (thank God) clients.
I'll call her Tish. Think tall, gawky, blonde mid-westerner absolutely poised, considered attractive by most men, highly competent and a bit arrogant.
I'll call her Sarah. Think tall if she weren't hunched over all the time. Whiny. Convinced everyone is out to get her. Confrontational at best. Absolutely paranoid at worst.
I'm not kidding. Two personalities in one body, and we never knew which one we would be dealing with. And worst of all, they never talked to each other, so if we talked to Tish about something, Sarah wouldn't remember it!!
She could flop over during the day, or go on for weeks at a time. Absolutely the most frustrating and at times scary person I've ever had to try and please.
posted
A woman that I used to work with has to be the most bizarre ever. She would complain about smells and noises in the office. She asked our secretary to stop using whatever lotion she was using because she didn't like the smell.
She had to have the lights dimmed in her cube so she could work. The poor guy that shared the room with her had to work in near dark conditions just to please her. If you did something she didn't like she would complain to the boss, not to you. It didn't matter what it was.
She had a terrible disposition, you never knew how she would react to anything you asked or said. So after a couple of run-in's, I mostly ignored her. She talked loud, and laughed louder. You could hear her witch cackle on the opposite end of the building. I still have nightmares!
She was always going on about things of a sexual nature, and her latest conquest. But for the life of me, I don't know how she ever got anyone to follow her home. She was on the verge of being manly, thinning hair on top and a few sprouts of facial hair to boot. I always wondered how much she paid those guys.
To top all of this off, she would also talk about being born again. Her car had a Jesus fish on the back, and a bumper sticker that said "GOT JESUS?" I asked her one time if she kept him in the trunk. She was not amused.
quote:I've got six sisters. There are no words to describe them.
This made me chuckle. Were you the only male child? If so, I'd bet you had it rough. Still, you're remarkably well-adjusted considering the "trauma" you may have gone through.
[This message has been edited by HSO (edited February 09, 2005).]
posted
One of my friends had a girlfriend who faked amnesia for several days to try to make him feel guilty. Like, he'd stressed her out so much she'd had a nervous breakdown or something...
Posts: 626 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
Survivor, I think I understand you better now.
Let's see here...I don't know what level of bizarre you want. I knew a girl in college who started suffering cigarette withdawl when she arrived despite never smoking before in her life....hre house was constantly full of the stuff because she was surrounded by chain smokers. To make her stranger, she joined two other girls in becomming part of a harem that held together for quite some time. (Over a year) The other two girls were a hypochondriac (Big time, she took over twenty meds a day and the only thing I could figure was wrong with her was some exces weight she could diet away.) and an alcoholic (less interesting, I know, especially since she's cleaned up her act).
Those three were most bizarre together, but on her own I knew another hypochondriac with issues. She claimed to be a hypoglycemic and diabetic, was constantly complaining of random symptoms, suggested that she'd broken her tailbone when it was obvious she wasn't in that kind of pain....but at least she hadn't found a doctor to give her meds. She was at college to get her Mrs. degree, but has never figured out that getting in bed with a guy without two hours of meeting him is not the way to get him into a committed relationship. The last message I had from her claimed she was dating two men who each wanted her to marry the other one. She thought it was so sweet that they were looking out for her best interests and cared about her. <cough> She also has a hangup about being Native American even though she can't prove the lineage. I think it has something to do with a spirit guide. She also wants to be a witch although I don't think she's to the poitn of believing she ever controlled nature.
Maybe not bizarre enough, but I thought they were pretty messed up at least and maybe they will inspire someone.
She was a diagnosed manic-depressive with paranoid tendencies. You were either an angel or a devil in her book, and she was always looking for a way to turn you into a devil. She was also a pathological liar. You could never be sure if she was telling you the truth or not.
Highlights of her life:
She was a wild child growing up, living a double life: good Mormon girl by day, insane slut by night (and on Sunday when she could sneak away from church). She did drugs and partied until the day came when, for whatever reason, she decided to get sealed in the temple to a guy who beat her up with his crutches.
She then met a guy who was already married; he rescued her from her self-created nightmare and claimed her as his second wife (and yes, she was excommunicated). For ten years she went back and forth between junk food addict (the woman was huge) and health food nut, gave birth to three children, dabbled in tarot readings and mixed witchcraft with her herbalism. She claimed one of her children was able to read minds because she knew he was reading hers in the womb.
It was also during this time that she began stealing money from local bands by saying she'd become their manager and sell their demos. They would pay her a start-up fee and never hear from her again.
She eventually left her "husband", re-joined the Church, pressured her oldest child to join, decided her former "husband" was sexually abusing her children and kidnapped them. For 6 years she kept them hidden until she decided to sue a relative for not telling her his son was a convicted child molester (sadly, the boy raped one of her children during a vacation... true). Because her lawsuit hinged on custody of her children, her former "husband" was informed of the kids' whereabouts, and custody was transferred. The lawsuit was dropped.
She then decided the LDS Church was one big lie, sent her kids a box 2'x1.5'x6" (I think I got the dimensions right) full of everything she could find that proved the LDS Church was a scam. Because I stopped talking to her about this time, I don't know if she got back into the occult. I know she was a big believer in astrology, even before she renounced her faith.
I have heard that she married a guy from the Navy (her fourth husband... didn't mention the third because it's just too painful to describe the emasculation he went through as her husband). I have also heard that only one of her children contacts her; the others are too terrified of her ruining their lives.
I hope I never, ever, ever have to be near this woman again.
posted
You know, corpse, if you combined nearly all of the things listed in the above posts into one person, it would make for one very curiously deranged character.
At the very least, it would certainly make for an interesting experiment to see if it could be done at all.
posted
I don't think I can compete. Fortunately! But I do have a cousin who after a divorce, held a barbecue to raise money for her daughter, who had severe health problems. And who lived with her dad, and whose bills were paid by social security. At last word she was still pursuing a prophecy that she and her daughter will go preach the gospel in the third world. The fact that her daughter has now been dead for years is no deterrent. She's expecting a resurrection. Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
Oh -- actually, I can compete! I had a student who came in looking like she'd been through the wringer. She said her boyfriend had died. I thought she should have just gone home.
She was there in the next class. She said her boyfriend had been playing a trick on her, to see if she really loved him.
This was getting weird, so I called up our head of advising, and she said, "Is this the boyfriend who's the European playboy, or the African prince? Or yet another one?" Apparently this girl had the kind of boyfriends that other people can't see.
I had an employee named Jessica Bates (little did I know how applicable that last name was, i.e. Norman).
She was caught skimming the register and dismissed, though I did not at the time prosecute her for the theft.
She was a reasonably attractive girl (she was 20-21 at the time), had a great body but looked a little roadworn in the face, if you know what I mean. She was sleeping with another employee (which I was unaware of at the time) and I later fired him as well, when she used him to continue her thefts and to create problems at the my store.
The sad part was, he was a nice sweet guy and she ran him down a bad path.
Years past and I didn't hear from or of her again. Then I was watching the news one night and saw a story about a woman named Jessica McCord. She and her husband, an Alabaster police officer, were being accused of killing her ex-husband and his wife, over a custody dispute, and then driving the bodies to Atlanta where they left them in a car and burned it.
The reason this stood out was I recognized the cops name, he has been a security guard where my wife used to work. I told her about it and she was amazed, he had been a sweet innocent guy (sound familiar). Then to my amazement the story showed a picture of Jessica McCord and though she looked much older and worn down, it was Jessica Bates, my former employee.
After this came out, it was a topic of conversation around the store and all types of stories began to surface.
She was convicted by the way. Aside from the murders I also found out she'd been dismissed from the Hoover Police Department, as a clerk, for innapropriate conduct, the conduct was turning tricks for $50 a pop in the stairwells during her lunch break.
Anyway, sad person and sad story, but she is most definately the most bizarre and scary woman I've ever known.
posted
Well, so far it looks like we’ve got the makings of a spectacular train wreck. After looking at all these bizarre-O characteristics, I can’t help but wonder whether it would be possible to construct a SYMPATHETIC character who possesses most or all of the following traits…
STRANGE APPEARANCE Giant clown feet Extremely thin Extremely fat Very pale Female facial hair
SEXUALLY MALADJUSTED Extremely promiscuous Brags loudly about sexual escapades Starts out hetro, goes lesbian Tupperware sex toy parties Accusations of sexual abuse
DRUG USE—PERSCRIPTION AND OTHERWISE Dips chewing tobacco Drinks like a fish Smokes like a factory Fakes illnesses to get prescription drugs
STRANGE RELIGEOUS BELIEFS Bumper sticker: GOT JESUS IN TRUNK Believes she has a Native American spirit guide Believes she has psychic powers Into Wicca Reads Tarrot cards Believes deceased family members will be resurrected in near future Believes she has power over nature Holds court with vampires
CRIMINAL BEHAVOIR Steals from cash register Murder Prostitution Uses sex to recruit criminal accomplices
Kind of like those extremely heavy, extremely exotic elements that are formed inside a particle accelerator. They only last for a few millionths of a second before they self destruct.
So, what kind of social collision would it take to create a character this strange? And, what would it take to make her a stable element?
The women described here-in, IMO, are non-redeemable. They're simply not capable--even if they WANTED TO (which I don't see)--of behaving responsibly. These are women who have chosen to take what was likely a very difficult childhood and instead of struggling to climb out of the hole life made for them, they chose to dig deeper. Chose, mind you. Even the seriously mentally ill choose whether or not to take their meds. Even those who survive serious abuse through life choose the amount of impact that abuse will have on their lives. Just ask the millions of functional people out there (the ones you seldom hear about) who have chosen to not let it ruin them.
Those who CAN become stable would be those who try and struggle (even if, eventually, they fail) to climb out of that hole. Humility and remorse--I think that's a big part of it. The realization that what she is doing is wrong and the sorrow that SHOULD accompany that, and the sincere desire to change. The evil women I know not only don't have these qualities, they have NO pretenses that they are wrong at all. They are self-righteous and all-wise. At least in their own eyes.
The women described above, for me, don't fit that bill at all.
Although, it would be interesting if you COULD make me BELIEVE that they do.
posted
To stabilize, find the items in the list that cancel each other out. Cross them out. Then, pick one item from each heading and go with it.
Still, there is a slight probability of a person out there having most of these attributes all rolled into one. Even the extremely fat/skinny thing could work. She could be huge bodied but have super-skinny legs.
For you, what was the straw that broke the camel's back? The giant clown feet?
Seriously, I see what you're saying.
Anybody see that show on the Discovery Channel last night, about female serial killers? They profiled three woman, one of whom had killed a minimum of 60 victims, the second had killed something like thirty, and the third perhaps a dozen or so--or something like that. I can't remember the exact numbers.
The first of these woman was a countess during the 1600's. The second lived in Hungary during the 1930's. And the last was a quack doctor up in Washington state close to the turn of the last century.
Anyway, all three of these woman seemed extremely educated, very structured, very focoused, very organized. None of them were what I would call a "train wreck".
posted
See, I'm at something of a loss in this conversation, because I don't consider the various women described here as particularly out of the ordinary. Unattractive, sure. But rather common, when you get down to brass tacks.
I think that the upper-class serial killers CG brings up are more interesting, the woman derived by putting together everything weird about all the women described here is more or less your typical stock character. I actually have a few relatives that are pretty close to this. It isn't weird if everyone knows someone like that.
posted
If you reduced the list somewhat, I think you could get a sympathetic character, like the girl in The Bell Jar. She was crazy.
Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
We knew a young couple (mid twenties) that used to come into the little coffee shop where we hung out alot. We called them Itchy and Scratchy.
Scratchy was legally blind. He could see some stuff, but had to hold his money six inches in front of his face and study hard in order to tell what denomination it was.
We figured Scratchy's eyesight was a good thing for Itchy, since it meant he couldn’t get a good look at her. Itchy wasn’t a babe. She wasn’t someone to run screaming from, but she wouldn’t be the most appetizing of dinner companions, either. A mousey little blond girl with stringy, usually dirty hair, a nose just a mite too long and blade like, and eyes set close enough together that they always seemed to be peering at the end of her nose.
Itchy’s biggest problem though, was simply that she was itchy. She usually had at least one quarter sized sore on her face that she would pick at, and when that failed to amuse her, she would take the ends of her hair and begin picking at it and dropping whatever it was she was picking off onto the floor.
Now, here is where things get really weird. After she had picked at her hair for awhile, Scratchy would notice. Then he would take some of her hair and begin picking at it too. It seemed to soothe her, but you can imagine that it absolutely flipped out the other patrons of the coffee shop.
After awhile, (maybe a year) the kids broke up. Itchy went to the next little community over and moved in with someone else. After a few weeks, she moved back in with Scratchy and a few weeks after that it was announced she was pregnant.
For the next few months Scratchy pushed her around town in a wheelchair. When the baby finally arrived, the State took it away (of course). For the next few months the kids complained loudly that they were going to sue, but I’m not sure they even knew what a lawyer was for. Eventually, they just disappeared and no one seems to know what became of them, other than they moved in with some relatives “downstate”.
posted
I'm not clear on why it was so obvious that the state would take the kid away...you mention some annoying personal habits and routine relationship problems, but nothing dangerou.
Posts: 3567 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
It may be one of those things that you just have to be there to understand. I could write about those two for days and not say it all, definitely two of the most interesting people I've observed.
They put them through a parenting class before the baby even came. Because Itchy was already being monitored by the State, we figured the kid would be taken. We knew Scratchy was probably capable of handling the kid, but he couldn't see well enough to do much.
They just had this whole aura about them. She never spoke much and when she did, it was usually about a watch or tinket that Scratchy had bought her. He spoke alot (sometimes too much), but then would lapse back into silence and begin picking at her hair again.
It took me a long time thinking about it, but I finally speculated that the screw she had loose must have made her feel like things were crawling on her. Scratchy, being smart enough to comprehend this would pretend to pick (or maybe he actually did), just to calm her down.
quote:See, I'm at something of a loss in this conversation, because I don't consider the various women described here as particularly out of the ordinary. Unattractive, sure. But rather common, when you get down to brass tacks.
I tend to agree with Survivor on this. Women like this are WAY too common. All it takes to realize this is ONE trip to an adult singles dance where you will also find their male counterparts.
posted
It sounds like most of the "bizarre" descriptions are referring to mental illnesses. Another part seems to refer to poverty. Another to perceptions not lining up with reallity.
I don't know what the stats are in the US, but in Canada approx. 78% of adults with mental illnesses live below the poverty line. The two things seem to feed off each other in a vicious cycle.
That sounds preachy, and I don't mean it that way, so I guess if I'm going to add anything more it's that "Yes, bizarre people are common, however that does not make them normal."
As for the third archetype (perception vs. reallity), personally I was not surprised that the shy, skinny schoolmarm hosts sex toy partys. I actually expected it.
[This message has been edited by Robyn_Hood (edited February 10, 2005).]
posted
A possible way to get sympathy for such an odd character as you are in process of inventing is to paint her as the obvious suspect of a crime, condemned by her family, the town, everyone who knows her, but she is really innocent. IN the end, she has been used as a foil, set up by the real criminal. She was just a weird, crazy person, after all.
posted
"A possible way to get sympathy for such an odd character as you are in process of inventing is to paint her as the obvious suspect of a crime, condemned by her family, the town, everyone who knows her..."
And of course, she would have to have a really hot bod!
posted
In the Cider House Rules, John Irving wrote, I think her name was Molly, but I can't be sure, I just remember that she was riveting.
Posts: 193 | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
I think that if everyone knows "someone like that", it means that having that person in your story won't really hurt your plausibility, but it also means that it doesn't really provide all that much interest. On the other hand, it will tend to hurt you because people react to common strangenesses in different ways.
Take RH as an example of one possible reaction. Take DJV as another. Take Christine as a person reacting out of her experience with "someone just like that" as a third, and Keeley's take on "someone just like that", and then throw a few of the guys in with their own perceptions.
You aren't going to get away with presenting someone like this in a value neutral fashion, but if you seem preachy you don't have a majority or even a solid plurality to fall back on as a "choir". If this woman were a minor character she would just be a detraction from the story for most readers, make her a major character and you'll make the entire story a detraction from your audience.
This is because we all already have our opinions about this kind of person. The "totally crazy bitch from hell" stock character isn't a very flexible tool.
I think that it would be more interesting to work with the kind of character that could keep the entire audience interested in learning more about what makes her tick. Such a person should act with a kind of logic that is evident even if we don't immediately understand it. If the reader can trust that the character does have some kind of rational reasons, then trying to figure out those reasons can still be interesting.
That's why I thought that a collection of women smart and strong enough to invent their own creative, unique, and somewhat successful paths through life would be more interesting than a collection of variations on a theme already too familiar to all of us.
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She was not amused.
