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JBSkaggs
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When you are writing your summary for submission to publishers. Do you try to use humor or clever phrasing in the one sentence description or do you use very basic plain english?

Example: Romeo and Juliet

Two young people from fueding families fall in love and their affair ends in suicide.

vs.

A young man falls in love with a woman from the enemy, their forbidden love brings both families to conflict, this affair destroys their families' stability, produces public scandal and shame, and in the end the young man commits suicide.

What are some of your examples?


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mikemunsil
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Do you mean Query letters? If so, see this thread also: http://www.hatrack.com/forums/writers/forum/Forum5/HTML/000026.html
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JBSkaggs
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No I mean examples of reducing a story or book into one sentence that can be used in query letter or other correspeondence. mainly im interested in seeing some original story in a sentences.
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Alynia
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If it's a humorous piece, then yes.

If it's not, then no.

Basically, publishers want to know what the story is about. They also want the conclusion. They do not want to be toyed with... according to the publishers I have spoken with recently, that is.

Keep everything you send them as professional as possible.

As one said in a panel: "We've seen clever. You're not it."

[This message has been edited by Alynia (edited March 03, 2005).]


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Alynia
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Here's some examples of one liners:

A couple traveling to South France argue, the woman takes a train home, her husband tries to find her, but instead encounters a mysterious stranger. (Red Lights)

A disturbed veteran is placed in a straightjacket and drugged, allowing him to see his death several days in the future. (The Jacket)

An undercover agent, who was unable to protect an important scientist's life, now tries to save the man's family. (The Pacifier)

A dog named for a certain grocery store makes miracles for a small town in Florida. (Because of Winn-Dixie)


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Robyn_Hood
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I've just started using this technique to help get a clear idea of things for myself. Here's one I've been working on.

The original idea was to stretch over a trilogy (stories based in Vampire milieu):

Book One: "Power-hungry Ophelia comes to Chicago and after forging a dangerous alliance puts the Prince in Torpor and takes over."

Book Two: "Certain powers, that used the old Prince as a puppet leader, revive him from Torpor and destroy Ophelia."

Book Three: "Hamlet hears of Ophelia's final death and comes to Chicago to exact his revenge on her destroyers."

The new concept -- one book, no trilogy:

"Power-hungry Ophelia comes to Chicago, but in her bid to take over the city, she succombs to her own insanity and is 'rescued' by Hamlet before she can destroy the reigning Vampire Prince."


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Pyre Dynasty
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One I just submitted

A goblin artist discovers a new truth that marks him as a heretic.


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franc li
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I think using character names is probably less the style that has been presented as the received one.

:has no idea what a one sentence summary of my WIP would be:

Though I do know the answer to the fundamental question, what does my character want. To understand the degree of God's involvement in human affairs.


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JBSkaggs
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Franc,

Hmmm Maybe:

Protagonist goes on a journey of personal growth and discovery to understand the nature of God.


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MaryRobinette
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Interesting exercise. So far I haven't needed a one sentance summary since the publishers I've submitted my novel to have thus far wanted at least a one page summary. Thank heavens short story submissions don't need summaries! I hate writing them.
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Shendülféa
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Man, I have this one story and I don't think there's any way in the world I could manage to sum it up in just one sentence. I have a hard enough time just trying to sum it up in a paragraph, which is what all the publishers I've sent it to so far are asking for. I don't think I've done a good job at it either since all the replies I get back are along the lines of: "We've got all the pieces we want to publish right now, but we suggest that you send your story to other publishers." Ugh. I hate summaries.
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franc li
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If my story is about a "journey of personal growth" I may as well shoot myself now. It was just a bunch of stuff that happened.

P.S. Though I guess the relationship between mental illness and spirituality figures strongly in the story. And I'd prefer "Wanton sex goddess" over "Protagonist". But "Biracial neurotic" also works. So now we have "A Biracial Neurotic explores the correlation between mental illness and spirituality." See, my story involves a lot of actual travel so using "journey" metaphorically in the summary would be silly.

[This message has been edited by franc li (edited March 05, 2005).]


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