Ideally, I would love a book of short excerpts (fiction or non), mainly of battle, but also something that will give a vivid taste for life during that era and "feel" of living during that war.

Nothing can give the "feel" of living during that war along with a vivid taste for the life of the era. That war...it was to the Americans what WWI was to Europe. It changed everything. Naturally, we didn't make the mistake of including any Frenchmen in drawing up the peace, so things went pretty well...by comparison

There was the antebellum period and the reconstruction era, both North and South. What world you were living in at any time during the war was entirely a matter of...who knows what. Lee lived in the antebellum world, probably till the end of his life. It was a decision on his part, he could see the signs of the times, but felt too old to change. Sherman was in the reconstruction era even when he was living in the actual antebellum South. Grant...he was firmly part of the antebellum North, even when he was President. Forrest was old South, Longstreet was post-war from the time he was in school.