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Author Topic: Story synopsis I am pondering...
JohnArden
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Okay, here goes...Please give as much reaction to this as you can (BE FOREWARNED - THIS SYNOPSIS IS RATHER LENGTHY):


In the future…
Subterranean travel expands across the world, allowing for people to be conveyed from one location to another along relatively straight paths. These subways also traverse the center lane of many of the world’s major highways, and eventually come to be the major mode of transportation globally...

With the massive expansion and interconnection of the subways, subway platforms are social meccas for people to gather on daily. The intercontinental connections that can be made on these Platforms are exploited in every possible way. Whole communities are built near the Platforms, and are populated almost exclusively by families of conductors. Men, women, and older teens that have graduated from a magnetic conduction engineering program, offered in the first two years of high school, can operate a train...

Social gatherings on the Platforms function more like market places than waiting stations for trains. Most people on the Platforms are not even waiting for the train, but rather are waiting for passengers for various reasons. Hence the need for a monitoring force that polices the actions of the Platforms. They are a response force that operates with non-lethal force so as not to present such a threat that people will not feel such a sudden panic from their presence, causing them to possibly jump in front of a moving train...


Any ideas that might help flesh this out? I especially would like to know more about locomotives, both subterranean and terranean.


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mikemunsil
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my initial reaction to this is that it seems a bit unlikely that the platforms would become such social meccas. so, when you write this, you might explain more about why and how that happens
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Garp
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Sorry, but this isn't a story synopsis. It's nothing more than a setting. It's like saying, "In another galaxy far, far away, there is inter-planetary space travel, and myriads of aliens, and the planets are curious because they only have one climate -- desert, forest, snow, lava, etc." Sure, you're setting is a bit more detailed, but it's nothing more than a setting.

There's no characters, and no conflict. At the most basic level, you need a main character who wants something . . . and someone or something that stands in his way.


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JohnArden
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I just realized that I have left out some of the character development from the synopsis. THat part is not what I need help with though, so I guess I should state that I really need some help on establishing the setting better, and making sure I cover all my bases in terms of the tech of the time. Thanks.
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krazykiter
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Couple things:

1. If they are subterranean, why bother following highways? The only reason I could see for this would be above-ground sections, which more or less defeats the "social community" aspect. It would also tend to work against the "straight line" layout.

2. A much simpler enforcement mechanism would be a gate. Just don't allow non-riders on the platform. This is something that your story must deal with.

3. I don't buy the idea that the mere threat of lethal force might cause someone to panic and "leap in front of a train." Most people wouldn't run into traffic just because there are armed policemen on the sidewalk. I rode the Washington, D.C. Metro for years, and there are armed security officers around. People just get used to them like any regular policeman.

4. There's a neat seed in the idea of the somewhat insulated communities of Conductors and their families. Lots of possibilities there. That's where I'd be looking for a story.

5. You might want to consider having your "social meccas" aboveground, with limited access to the belowground embarkation points. Also keep in mind Mike's point about explaining how and why these "meccas" formed.

6. The basic purpose of subways is to get people from work to home and vice-versa. If there's too much community around the Platforms, people won't need the subway.

7. The issue of a trans-continental subway or railway shouldn't be taken lightly. I watched a show (on Discovery or something) on the engineering issues involved in such an endeavor. One major one is speed: Even the high-speed "bullet trains" operate around only 135 mph, and maglevs max out around 300 (the speed record is somewhere around 350, I think). Consider that a 747 can fly at 570 mph (airliners can climb to altitudes where air is less dense, trains can't). Even assuming a 100 mph difference, when you figure that the narrowest part of the Atlantic is over 1700 miles wide, you're looking at about a 45 minute difference in travel time. You'll have to somehow make the trains at least as fast and probably faster than air travel to make it economically viable.

I've run off at the fingers enough. I'm not trying to discourage you (and hopefully I haven't), rather just lay out some of the issues you'll need to address.


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tchernabyelo
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Building tunnels is also (currently) ridiculously expensive. The comparatively tiny tunnel that links the UK and the rest of Europe, which basically runs train lines only (plus an access tunnel), was so expensive that there seems no likelihood of it ever paying for itself (it was several years before the revenues were sufficient just to meet the interest payments on the loan, let alone start denting the capital outlay). And that's about 25 miles long. If you're talking about running tunnels thousands of miles, and crossing tectonic fault lines in the process, you're going to have to work hard to conquer suspension of disbelief.

It can be done; you can just brazen it out, Michael Marshall Smith style. But while his first book (Only Forward) got away with it because of its originality and sheer verve, it's my opinion that subsequently, the second (Spares) just came over as unbelievable.

Think carefully about what it is you actually want to achieve with your story, and then consider what elements of the setting you really need. Don't be afraid to discard something that seems neat but flies in the face of logic.


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Robert Nowall
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Seems to me some sort of great advance in cheap tunnel digging is implicit in development of this kind of situation.

As I recall, the subway stations of New York generally filled with businesses, retail stores of some kind. I remember an oldies record store off the Times Square stop (I think---I never visited but I heard of it).

I don't know that people would locate their residences inside a Platform...they'd locate near them, of course, because communities spring up around ports or railheads or airports.

Where would these Platforms be built? Likely under existing cities...probably there'd be points of connection requiring passengers to switch trains...likely new cities around them.

If you set your story on a Platform at a connection point under the ocean, it would introduce a whole new layer of technical complications in your story.

Though there'd certainly be a need for a police force around these platforms, I don't know that the physical layout of such a place would enable anybody to accidentally fall in front of a moving train.


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Elan
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Some additional ideas culled from life...

I have a friend who is a retired engineer from a local railroad. Ever wonder why you never see any weeds growing up around railroad tracks? There are issues of the railroad spraying heavy amounts of herbicides, close to waterways (My community is on a large river). The railroad is loathe to admit this, particularly since a lot of the fish and wildlife along the railways are protected. (Lots of salmon and bald eagles out here.)

My friend has commented on cover-ups relating to blatant disregard of safety laws. He used to be on the safety review team and knows of a specific incident where someone was killed at a crossing he cited in one of his reports, due to the very safety violations he cautioned the railroad about. This case is making its way to trial.

My friend had to take permanent disability due in part to a psychological breakdown following an incident when someone was killed by the train he was running. My friend says you'd be amazed at the number of people who decide to jump in front of trains to kill themselves, without considering the long-term agony the engineer goes through. The man killed by my friend's train died in a particularly gruesome fashion. All this is to say that there are a lot of nervous nellies (rightfully so) running these trains. The subculture of engineers would very likely spawn some psychological instability if an engineer had been involved in a past trauma. Check into PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder). PTSD would apply to someone who has been involved in a horrific wreck.


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wbriggs
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How would society react to these terminuses? Consider Atlanta and Dallas. Both started as rail stops (end of the line for Atlanta; I think it was end of the line for Dallas). So we wouldn't really expect most of the population to be people working directly with the tunnels. New York is an essential port, but most New Yorkers aren't dockworkers.

Anyway, that adds more possibility to your story.

I may not have understood what you were saying about the cops. Anyway our cops are supposed to use nonlethal force, almost all the time; for UK cops, it's nearly universal. But even in places where the "cops" carry machine guns, people won't flee from them into certain death.

I think this is an interesting idea. So. What might happen now?


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apeiron
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Neat idea.

I think you could get away with the platforms becoming social hubs if people often need to switch trains--sort of like the places where highways cross, or even more relevantly, subway stations that connect different lines. The trains could cross underground, so that's where businesses see commuters (probably wealthy ones if they need to travel so far) as fair game. You could even throw in some added incentive relating to unclear tax codes due to issues of zoning or some nonsense.

As for the police, it sounds like it's important to your plot that the police are trained in non-lethal combat. Why not just throw in there that the modern weapon of choice for police--some sort of energy weapon--interferes locally with the fancynamehere railway tech that allows the trains to achieve their amazingly fast speeds? Two birds, one stone.

Good luck with your idea. Have fun fleshing it out.


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JohnArden
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Alot of this is an expansion on my experiences growing up in Philadelphia for 20-some-odd years. I don't livet here anymore, but hte entire time I lived there, 98% (I'm not kidding) of my travel was by public transportation, i.e. subways, subway/surface trollies and trains, and buses. There is a large portion of the population in Philadelphia who do not have driver's licenses, and can get around the city with a Transpass (a way to pay for public transport). There were a number of incidents where students and other individuals, waiting for hte subway to go to wherever, fell on the tracks and got hit by trains, or just jumped down on the tracks before the train came. I saw it, I even thought of doing it. Just for the fun of it. I have also seen people fall on the tracks because they were being chased. If police were there, no one worried, but a chase would be something different. That is more the direction that I was leaning in.

As far as the social mecca, I agree that would take some fleshing out. It is one thing to look at a train platform at 7 a.m. and see high school kids meeting each other there, then spending the next half hour socializing. I'm trying to expand that idea.

Thank you guys for all your help. I needed some other brains on this; mine is a bit too bogged down with grading short answer responses and five-paragraph essays to devote any extended thinking to the story idea at any given time. Piece by piece is how I am going to take it.


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sholar
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When I read the social meccas part, I immediately thought of Union station in DC. There are of course all the metro stops where people get on and off and transfer, but there is also a food court on that level. Upper levels contain a mall. The Pentagon City stop is also has a mall built above it (I found it strange initially to go to the mall twice a day pretty much every day). It has been a while since I was in DC, so my memories are a bit fuzzy, but I also think Crystal City (if that is a real place) was similar. So, I found that aspect believable. (Also, in Shanghai lots of people down in the subway with kiosks).
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Survivor
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I don't really understand why you need so dang many conductors.
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