posted
okay I've got a question, when a character thinks is the thought in paranthesis? Is it correct Da, I wish you were here to see this, thought Thedaran. Or "Da I wish you were here to see this", thought Thedaran.
Posts: 36 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I've seen parenthesis, no indicator, and italics. I think it depends on how obvious it will be to the reader that it's a thought and not spoken. I'm having problems deciding whether to use italics or nothing, I can't use parenthesis in what I'm currently working on because thoughts are immediately following speech.
But that's quotation marks, you mean, right? (Parenthesis are these things?)
Edited to add that last bit.
[This message has been edited by Louiseoneal (edited July 06, 2006).]
posted
If you're doing a deep 3rd person or 1st person POV, you can just say what the character is thinking, and most of the time that's the cleanest option.
The evil robot monkeys disappeared around the corner. Clarissa wondered what they were up to.
The evil robot monkeys disappeared around the corner. I wondered what they were up to.
AS COMPARED TO
The evil robot monkeys disappeared around the corner. "What are they up to?" thought Clarissa.
OR
The evil robot monkeys disappeared around the corner. What are they up to? thought Clarissa.
[This message has been edited by Beth (edited July 06, 2006).]
[This message has been edited by Beth (edited July 06, 2006).]
posted
Sorry I had a mental slip, I meant quotations but thanks for the advice, I'll use italics thank you!
Posts: 36 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Beth is right on target, but some people would say that this...
quote:The evil robot monkeys disappeared around the corner. "What are they up to?" thought Clarissa.
...is ungrammatical, because thoughts aren't spoken; they insist that italics are the only proper way to represent thoughts. I don't care either way, but italics won't steer you wrong, so I'd generally use them instead of quotes.
Posts: 671 | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I haven't seen anyone using quotation marks to set off thoughts for quite a long time now, so I thought they were considered a bit passé. Maybe that's just me.
As for italics, I think it depends on the amount you'll be using them. If you're going to end up with a lot of italics everywhere, it's not worth doing it. If you're only popping into the characters heads every so often then use them. Italics, like most things, get irritating when over-used.
posted
I've seen parentheses used for a character's thoughts. Usually -- if my memory is correct -- it is in the middle of a spoken statement.
"Yes, We're not busy Friday night," George said. (Only have tickets to the Mets game that I had to sign away my first born to get!) "We'd love to attend your soiree for the ambassador from Ghana."
Or something like that.
I've also seen thoughts set apart with dashes. "Gee, I don't know" -- I'd rather eat my own liver -- "Coddled hummingbird livers sounds exciting!"
I've seen a lot of different methods of handling minor dialogue and thoughts in modern novels. Iain Pears in his art lovers mysteries series occasionally set dialogue inserted in the middle of a narrative paragraph off with dashes instead of his British apostrophes.
Andrea was most defensive. They talked while she unloaded the briefcase, the gunny sack and three suitcases. -- It is quite necessary. You never know what someone might slip into your luggage in those countries. -- The upshot was the discovery of a small package of antiquities but no heroin or opium. John signed a chit and took the bag of metal figurines as evidence but he and Peter left Andrea at her home since it was obvious she hadn't known about them.
Well, something phrased a little smoother than that. I quite like the technique but do not fully understand how to utilize it.
posted
I would avoid parentheses in fiction. The correct use of parentheses is to interject an explanation into a narrative that it would not normally fit smoothly.
Fiction, generally, should read smoothly. Parentheses are never smooth.
When using verbatim thoughts, I prefer the italic standard or no change at all.
Joe saw a big red ball in the middle of the canyon. How did that get here, he thought. He carefully approached the ball.
can just as easily fit into a narrative by just putting
Joe saw a big red ball in the middle of the canyon. How did that get here? He carefully approached the ball.
Whatever method of showing thoughts you use, be sure to be consistant throught the work.
posted
Yeah it's a style choice, all but quotation marks. They mean that it was spoken out loud. I'm for nothing.
Posts: 1895 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
This is kinda subtle, but notice the difference between the two cases you mentioned:
A: Joe saw a big red ball in the middle of the canyon. How did that get here, he thought. He carefully approached the ball.
B: Joe saw a big red ball in the middle of the canyon. How did that get here? He carefully approached the ball.
Consider a problem with leaving off the italics: tense and person changes. It didn't matter in the example because the tense of the thought was the same as that of the narrative, and there was no indication of person; but try this:
A: Joe saw a big red bomb in the middle of the canyon. I hope it doesn't explode, he thought. He carefully approached the bomb.
B: Joe saw a big red bomb in the middle of the canyon. I hope it doesn't explode. He carefully approached the bomb.
A is fine. B is icky, it seems to me.
Preferable to my ear are C and D:
C: Joe saw a big red bomb in the middle of the canyon. He hoped it wouldn't explode. He carefully approached the bomb.
D: Joe saw a big red bomb in the middle of the canyon. I hope it doesn't explode. He carefully approached the bomb.
Here's what I get from the discussion:
1. Just say what the character's thinking, without quoting thoughts, OR
2. Use italics to set of the character's thoughts, with or without using thinker attributions.
Like I said, I'd personally allow for the use of quotation marks, but I wouldn't want to turn off the people who think it's ungrammatical. Italics won't turn anyone off, so use them.
Regards, Oliver
[Edited because I'm too stupid to type the right thing the first time]
[This message has been edited by oliverhouse (edited July 08, 2006).]
posted
Actually, italics DO annoy some people. (Not me, particularly, unless there are too many of them, but some people, yes.)
However, an overuse of direct thoughts does bother me, a little. In the example given:
quote:C: Joe saw a big red bomb in the middle of the canyon. He hoped it wouldn't explode. He carefully approached the bomb.
D: Joe saw a big red bomb in the middle of the canyon. I hope it doesn't explode. He carefully approached the bomb.
I find choice D unrealistic. People simply don't go around thinking all their thoughts out in sentences. "He hoped it wouldn't explode" describes Joe's hope and his state of mind. I hope it doesn't explode, with OR without the italics, means that he formulated that sentence in his head and thought it. I'm not saying that this never happens: it's merely a silent form of talking to oneself. But most thoughts are never verbalized so clearly.
It can be done well. OSC does it extremely well, though he carries it to such an extreme that his works are sometimes considered "talking heads" books. But he also does it without italics.
My take on it is: If you can't do it well enough to do it without the italics and make it work, you probably shouldn't do it. Stick to describing the thoughts (choice C).
[This message has been edited by rickfisher (edited July 10, 2006).]
posted
Right. I wasn't saying that overuse of italics won't annoy people. They will, whether used to indicate thoughts or for emphasis.
There are two distinct issues at hand: 1) when to use direct quotations of someone's thoughts, and 2) how to indicate that they're direct thoughts. My last post only addressed (2).
posted
Yeah, I know. I didn't mean to pick on you. Your post was just the closest thing around, so I used your examples.
Posts: 932 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Your post was just the closest thing around, so I used your examples.
