posted
I wrote a "flashback" of about 2,700 words for part of a story that is currently up to about 18,000 words. It all happens three years before the events of the story.
It ended up being an info dump - It's basically an explanation of all of the technology in the story, but also has interaction between two characters. That's why I didn't start the story there. Not a lot of action, but it has things critical to the story.
I don't really know what to do with it now. I assume it's not common practice to do a flashback that's a sixth of the total story length (maybe its own chapter)? Would it ruin the continuity of the story? Should I just try to scatter the info around the story in the present?
Then there's the issue of POV. If either character remembers back to this, then it becomes infodumpish again.
posted
Is there a way to turn the info-dump part of the flashback into a short story involving different characters?
Let's say the story is about a couple of kids that have to sneak into a 50 year old supercomputer and jumpstart it because it is the only thing that can power the war machines to defend them from an incoming invasion.
I would first try two stories inside one. The lesser-story follows the life of a mechanic that worked on the heating ducts of the supercomputer. The real story happens a hundred years later when the kids are trying to fix the computer because it is the only thing that knows how to operate the old war machines of the city. The mechanic is more info-dumpish but also is a story in its own right.
In the end the characters 'meet' in a sense. Say the mechanic spent most of his days writing notes to himself on the inside of the heating ducts 'NEED FLOUR FOR JENNY'S 5th BIRTHDAY' stuff like that, along with notes about critical functions of the machine 'DO NOT TURN ON UNLESS YOU WANT A TAN'. The characters 50 years later are reading these notes and learning how to power this machine back on.
Then it could turn out that the mechanic was one of the kids' great-great-great-grandfather or something just to add a big slice of cheese to the story.
That way the info-dump is still happening but hopefully it wouldn't feel like an info-dump. Dunno if this would work in your situation though.
posted
It's hard to say without more specific context (ie reading it) but it does sound like a potential problem, especially if the flashback is more information than action.
My suggestions:
Read the flashback. Decide which parts are really and truly necessary for us (the readers) to know. Be nit-picky. Just because something is in your notes does not mean it needs to end up in the story.
Can the important information be worked into the story gradually, and without a flashback?
Can the flashback be shortened?
Can the flashback be lengthened, taken to the next level, and made more interesting? If so, you may even be able to start the story there, although this kind of transformation would probably require some serious reworking of the entires tory.
quote:One question to ask yourself when you feel tempted to write a flashback is "could I have started the story too late?"
That was the first thing I asked myself and in this case, I believe the story started in the right place. I'm able to drop in little bit of info for the main characters except with this one guy.
halogen: That's pretty much what I was trying to do at first, but I wasn't sure it would work. In my story, the guy is a drug user - the type of drugs and reasons is relevant to the story. He has quite a history with a neuroengineering corporation and his story explains most of what the main characters eventually need to know. I just ended up with too much tech info to be able to drop it in with the main story.
If anyone's willing to take a look at it, I can send it. Maybe it would help put it in perspective. It's hard to explain in short paragraphs here.
quote:There was some very valuable guidance on flashbacks a while ago in this thread:
Yes, that helps quite a bit. Thanks.
[This message has been edited by KPKilburn (edited December 06, 2007).]
posted
If you have too much info on the technology, perhaps it doesn't need to be in there. Readers don't have to know every aspect of your science, IMO (but then again, I'm not as "into" science as some folks are). It's important to see if you're "showing" and not "telling" with this info. You can "show" it by showing it in a character's experience and his reactions to it - not him talking about it, him living it. That would be a more interesting read than just "hearing" about it.
And what Kathleen said about making it the beginning of the story - that could be a good way to go. I wound up doing that with my own novel after having it completely written with the info dropped into the novel bit by bit here and there. I revised it with two chapters at the beginning that made a DRAMATIC improvement in lots of ways.
quote:And what Kathleen said about making it the beginning of the story - that could be a good way to go.
After I thought about this a while, I split the part into several smaller parts, removed some highly descriptive technical stuff (ouch!), and rearranged it into the story.
Does this work? (I've never seen it, so I'm uncertain if it's commonly used)
What I have now is the intro (intense action sequence) for the first chapter.
The second chapter begins with "Three years ago" and has a few paragraphs introducing Eddie and his employment at the megacorp. It then goes back to the action sequence and it's finale.
From this point on, I tell the story of Eddie parallel to the main story. I'm balance the revelations of technology and "why" things are happening with the present time without a see-saw effect.
Eventually, the two storylines converge and Eddie is in the present day along with the main characters for the conclusion.
Thanks for the advice. It helped me rethink the way I was doing things.
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