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Or: The Downside of the Internet Age Or: I'm Confused.
Well, I at least thought I'd get a few weeks to savor the idea. Nope. The reply was in my in-box this morning.
quote:I finished reading BLOOD WILL TELL. Thank you for being patient while I considered it for representation. I really love your premise. Unfortunately I don't feel it's quite right for my list. I'm regretfully going to pass.
It almost feels like a personal reply, if it hadn't been addressed to "Nelson". Who's Nelson? The writer she rejected right before me?
If I'd mailed it instead, I'd at least have had a couple of days while the envelope crossed the country to dream about the possibilities.
What has me confused is that:
I sent this query to the head of the agency. (Hey, it says he accepts queries.)
I wasn't at all surprised when the first response came from an assistant. Per the instructions, I sent the requested materials to the attention of that assistant.
The reply came from another agent in the agency--one I'd queried and been rejected by back in March. Scared me for a minute that I'd screwed up and queried two agents at the same place at the same time. But no, I got an actual rejection from her back in March, too.
I guess my query/requested materials must have gotten passed off to her.
Oh well. As I said before: Never give up. Never surrender. Now to find a couple more agents to query.
[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited October 13, 2010).]
posted
Fear not Meredith. You done good. And with your positive attitude you are well ahead of the game.
Posts: 1168 | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote: Or: The Downside of the Internet Age Or: I'm Confused. Well, I at least thought I'd get a few weeks to savor the idea. Nope. The reply was in my in-box this morning.
Even though I haven't sent in any novels for a long while I can sympathize . Really is too bad.
Well, I can also relate on a much smaller scale. I sent in a short story one evening and later found the rejection waiting for me when I checked my E-mail. That means the editor had sent it somewhere between one hour and two after I sent in the story. Which also means he didn't take long to decide.
But as I said before there's something there in your novel so keep sending it in and in and in.
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I'm bypassing the agent route and submitting directly to editors. If/when I get an offer I'll consider representation depending on the size and complexity of the offer. Then I'll be in the driver's seat "Hey agent X, I have an offer from publishing house Y. I don't know the business as well as you (presumably) do. I'm seeking representation and assistance in negotiating my contract."
That will be fun. But then again, I'm willing to go it alone, too. You don't have to have an agent in this market. Perhaps you know this and have rejected this as an option, but just thought I'd mention it. I'll let you know how my process goes. I'm optimistic!
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Meredith, I recently saw Wendy Mass speak at the middle school where I teach. She showed the kids her laminated rejection letters which stretched across the stage and farther. She said she kept trying and didn't change anything. I know we've all heard the legends: Harry Potter spent 7 years on the slush pile...and so on. At least you got some encouragement. Although, I know I'd be deflated by the results you received in the end. I'm interested in picking your brain about how to write a good query. Yours met with success (a lot more than I've achieved). I have about 20 form rejection emails to my credit and zero requests for partials or fulls. I've rewritten my query dozens of times and I still think it sucks. I'm happy with my book, though, pretty much. Can you post (or re-post) your query for Blood Will Tell? I read Query Shark all the time, but I can't seem to come up with a query that I like. Thanks.
Posts: 29 | Registered: Sep 2010
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The most recent version of the query is this:
quote: Being a half-blood is inconvenient on a good day, especially when the half you got from your mother is werewolf. Valeriah can’t take wolf form but the full moon still fills her with manic energy. Running helps; a tired werewolf is a good werewolf. She’s found her niche, though, using her enhanced strength and instincts as a bodyguard for the members of the Council of Magical Races.
When her cousin’s life is threatened, Valeriah prepares to face danger and even risk her life to save Crystal. She doesn’t anticipate finding herself in the middle of the very plot that led to the murders of her parents and brothers, a mystery she has spent eight years trying to solve. She really doesn’t expect to learn that she and Crystal are the last obstacles to a coup against the Council.
Valeriah hides Crystal in a suburb of Los Angeles while she tries to decipher the conspiracy. She has to decide who she can trust to help her protect Crystal. She wants to believe the handsome stranger who has already helped them once, even though her instincts tell her that he’s hiding something. Her only other choice is a member of the Council who has turned his back on her, then changed his mind.
What she doesn’t know is that one of them is the killer.
BLOOD WILL TELL is a 94,000-word urban fantasy novel. I have enclosed a synopsis per the instructions on your website.
posted
Thanks, it's a great query. I'd read the book. I'd represent it or publish it if I were an agent or an editor. I'm in that rut now, where I'm not writing my novels, I'm rewriting my query over and over. Driving myself crazy: a short trip for me.
Posts: 29 | Registered: Sep 2010
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posted
I concur. I'm no expert, but I find your query well-written. You succinctly and clearly present your protagonist, the plot, and her personal conflict -- and you do so inspiring my interest. Both your first sentence and last are great "hooks." Well done.
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I'm no expert, either, but am quite intrigued by your query. I would definitly read on. I agree with Dr. Bob that your final line was a great hook...
quote:Valeriah launched herself over the locked gate and raced on down the dirt path. The cliff-top trail was closed at night for good reason; one misstep could end in a fatal fall to the jagged rocks and crashing waves below. That didn’t frighten her. Even on a moonless night, Valeriah could see well enough; her werewolf blood was good for that much.
The words of the note that had reached her less than an hour ago repeated through her mind with each step. Just two sentences in her grandfather’s handwriting, “Come home as soon as you can. I’m dying.” How long had that message taken to reach her? How much or how little time did she have?
She veered onto a less-used trail heading away from the cliff and up the scrubby hillside. Valeriah left that path and
[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited October 22, 2010).]
[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited October 22, 2010).]
Not bad at all, it tells something about her, within the story without a long info dump. Tells us the problem too. Two of the sentences in the first paragraph seems to be a bit long but that might be just me. I have a thing about compound sentences since two pros said not to use them, as much as possible.
I would take a closer look at the book even though I usually avoid those kinds of stories...with werewolf, vampire, etc. families. I even put down one by Patricia Briggs(rats, not sure of that spelling) even though I love her writing and her worlds. I keep following the series though by looking over each new addition.
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Thanks, LD. She's half werewolf, but that's not really the core of the story. In other words, I wouldn't call it really a werewolf story any more than it's a dragon story. In fact, it's probably more of a dragon story than it is a werewolf story. Posts: 4633 | Registered: Dec 2008
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And it sort of reminds me of a Tanya Huff book. No half werewolves but there were dragons, a whole family of them.
BTW since I spoke of her, I have read only one series and this book by her but she does seem to like to start her series with the same type of opening.
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always keep smiling,
