posted
This question arose from a comment extrinsic made on someone's first 13. His quote is below:
quote: A shortcoming I see in this opening is Nyx's voice contests with the narrator's. The first two sentences summarize an external perspective seeing Nyx from a slight remove as if from a bystander's perceptions. The third and fourth sentences slip partly toward Nyx's character voice, internally, summarizing his thoughts through overstatements. Fifth sentence in Nyx's voice through understatement type of irony in the second clause follows "but."
Does this mean if writing in 3rd person limited, that the narrator's voice must also consistently sound like the characters true voice? Because I interpreted this POV to mean seeing things as closely to the character as possible without actually being the character, otherwise you'd write the story in first, right?
I ask because my novel is written from a 13 year old girl's perspective, but my narrator doesn't sound like a thirteen year old. The narrator see's what a 13 year old would see, and expresses her thoughts, but does not sound 13. Is that wrong? I could use some clarification on this. Thanks.
Posts: 118 | Registered: Jan 2012
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posted
Hmm. Well I don't pretend to have studied these things as deeply as extrinsic. Nor have I read that particular thread (being no expert at first 13's myself).
However, my opinion is that in limited 3rd, it's okay for the narrator to "sound" different than the character as long as the two don't become confused.
Think HARRY POTTER. Did that narrator sound 11 in the first book? No, but Harry did when he spoke or when you got a glimpse of his thoughts.
Posts: 4633 | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Third person limited is a narrator voice that has selective omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent access to the thoughts and immediate perceptions of one character, not necessarily the protagonist, but the viewpoint character.
The concern I have with pidream's "Family Bonds" opening is the transitions between narrator voice and narrator reporting character voice is the transitions feel unsettled. What I label unsettled voice.
A satisfactory fix would be to use thought tags, one anyway, to distinguish Nyx's direct thoughts from the narrator's. Another is to use indirect speech and thought. Another is to break Nyx's perceptions, thoughts, and speech into their own paragraphs with artful and timely transitions from narrator voice to character voice and vice versa. Or all of the above for maximum effect.
A third person narrator voice will have a degree of remote narrative distance by default. However, timely varying narrative distance from close to remote and in between makes up for that shortcoming and may feel closer than first person. Alternatively, absent the narrator voice altogether except for speech and thought tags by only reporting sensory perceptions and thought, action, and speech reactions to them from the immediate moment and place of the viewpoint character.
quote:By babygears81: I ask because my novel is written from a 13 year old girl's perspective, but my narrator doesn't sound like a thirteen year old. The narrator see's what a 13 year old would see, and expresses her thoughts, but does not sound 13. Is that wrong? I could use some clarification on this.
I've noted this type of workshop comment frequently. Right and wrong have little bearing on how artfully an older narrator voice expresses the drama of a younger character. Rather, developing the narrator's identity is at the forefront of artful voices in that case. The older narrator reports the younger character from the older's perceptions, though as if the narrator is at times inside the interior life of the younger character and at times within the narrator's exterior life observing the younger character.
Developing the narrator's identity is managed by expressing an attitude, expressing emotions, and the selective omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence of the narrator's perceptions though still in third person voice.
Posts: 6037 | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
I think it is important that the narration feels consistence whether it written in first person, third person omniscient or close third. A consistent narration reads smooth, inconsistent could feel choppy and pull the reader out of the story which is exactly what you don't want to do.
There is no problem with have an omniscient narrator, even one that is older than the POV character. But you also can have a very close third person that is almost like first, where everything is colored through the POV character's eyes.
I personally prefer close third because it makes it easier to connect with the POV character, but every story is different. Do what is best for your story.
FYI, I read the opening in question, and I personally had no problems with it. Sure the narration zooms in from what Nyx is doing to his thoughts, but the narration feels consistent to me. I thought the transition was pretty smooth, not jarring at all. But that is just my opinion.
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