The child sat unusually still, his eyes fixed on a point far on the horizon. He was not of a height to climb on the old oak stump and yet here he was, a sentinel, watching into the distance. The boy’s chestnut hair tickled his ears as it moved with the gentle breeze, but it did not break his concentration nor did the sound of his mother’s humming nearby. Nothing could distract him as he peered intently down the road.

Like a sprung trap the boy shot to his feet squinting into the sun toward a dark shape that crested the hill. The strange tall form trailed dust as it neared. The tension became palpable as the boy shifted his feet, unsure if he should run or call to his mother.

The misshapen figure loomed close, the sun outlining the

IMO, the content is good, but the sentence structure could be tightened.

Words in brackets are words that could be eliminated to streamline the sentences, and the words in italics are just suggestions. Hope this helps!

The child sat {unusually still} quietly, his eyes fixed on a point far on the horizon.

He was not {of a height} tall enough to climb on the old oak stump and yet here he was, a silent sentinel. {watching into the distance}.

I like this sentence, but I think it should end after the word concentration. The boy’s chestnut hair tickled his ears as it moved with the gentle breeze, but it did not break his concentration nor did the sound of his mother’s humming nearby. Nothing could distract him as he peered intently down the road.

Like a sprung trap, the boy shot to his feet, squinting {into the sun toward}at a dark shape that crested the hill. The strange {tall} form trailed dust as it neared. {The tension became palpable as} The boy shifted on his feet, unsure if he should run or call to his mother.

The misshapen figure loomed close, the sun outlining the

Edited to add: Oh yes. By the way, I thought this was a great start.

Unwritten has some very good suggestions; no need for me to line-edit.

Nits: My son was climbing the furniture at three; I can’t imagine a stump being an obstacle.
The use of “dark shape”, “strange tall form”, and “misshapen figure” are redundant while not giving me much to visualize; I felt that the lack of tangible description left me hanging. One or two of those phrases is probably enough, while clarifying that the reason we can’t see it more clearly is that the sun is behind it. But on reading again I’m not sure; perhaps its just right. Anyone?

quote:

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The child[What Child? Name?] sat unusually still, his eyes fixed on a point far on the horizon[Of what? Where is he?]. He was not of a height to climb on the old oak stump[Child? Do you mean toddler? This gives a pretty small image.] and yet here he was, a sentinel[Eh? Against what?], watching into the distance[Redundant.]. The boy’s chestnut hair [PoV?] tickled his ears as it moved with the gentle breeze, but it did not break his concentration [Punctuation missing here: Em-dash, comma, period.] nor did the sound of his mother’s humming nearby. Nothing could distract him [as he peered intently down the road<--[Third time in three sentences, really redundant--and showing me that you are intentionally withholding what he's looking for to create a false sense if drama.].

Like a sprung trap the boy shot to his feet [Nice metaphor.] squinting [into the sun toward a dark shape that crested the hill<--More withholding]. The strange[,] tall form trailed dust[PoV? If the dust can be seen, why not the mysterious stranger/thing?] as it neared. The tension became palpable<--[Telling.] as the boy shifted his feet<--[The opening metaphor describes him already doing this.], unsure if he should run or call to his mother.[He's too small to climb on a stump, but he has a dilemma calling Mom?]

The misshapen figure [What misshapen figure? How's it misshapen?] loomed close, the sun outlining the

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Too much beating around the bush. Instead of creating a hook, you shut me down. If you gave the boy a name and trimmed this for pertinent details, you'd be left with:

Sammy squinted into the setting sun, watching the road with the intensity of a sentinel. A misshapen figure crested the rise where the road poured over the hillside, and Sammy shot to his feet like a sprung trap. His gaze shifted back at Mother, who was asleep in her rocking chair, and to the approaching stranger.

There is information missing, like who/what he's watching for--which makes a difference in the build-up of tension--and what mother's doing (which I extrapolated). What time period is this? What genre? From the prose, I can't tell.

I hope this helps.