Welcome. I have to echo everything already said. Because you are telling me, even with the extra lines, I'm not hooked. Let me see and feel what the MC is as he/she runs away. The "thoughts" we get are the author's not the slave's. The slave is going to be worrying about every broken twig or not. What does the MC feel when the door opens and the yelling? Is it someone calling in a child or someone sounding an alert? The MC gets away too quickly because you are telling.
I'll give you some examples:
***One. Two. Three! I ran from behind my hiding spot behind an oak tree stump and fled across the field trying to run away from them. They have oppressed me long enough. I will be a slave no longer. ***
A bit of reordering and it might be more "hooky". I like the "I will be a slave no longer" line but it's lost with the rest. Also tell me who she is running from. Roman soldiers, or ERMs (Evil Robot Monkeys)? Using that small detail goes a long way to rooting me in a time and place and making me care.
*** I turned toward the forest, anxiety coursing through my veins, but I looked back to see that the lights were on in the house. I heard footsteps near the door. I turned and ran for the forest, saying to myself no looking back. I then heard the door open and someone yelling. ****
You tell me that anxiety coursed through her veins. It falls flat. Tell me about her hammering heart, the sweat dripping between her shoulder blades, the stink of sweat. Make me or at least give me the change to feel what she does.
There's a lot of "I turned and ran for the forest." I know her goal. Tell me about the trip. Does she stumble?
Same thing with the yelling? What is yelled? Is it an alarm? How does the MC react to it.
By telling this from a distant point of view (even if you are using the first person, you aren't sinking into that person's actual thoughts) you suck all the tension out of the scene. It's a tough one to do in first person to start with because I already know the MC escapes (otherwise she couldn't be telling me this in first person). That's the big trade off with first person, the reader is guaranteed the narrator survives the events that unfolds or they couldn't be the narrator.
Try to sink into the POV
****