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The blow cage was anchored to the base of a boulder eighty feet in circumference and nearly twenty feet tall, which Zeke found comforting. It was one of the old-fashioned cages, a squat cube constructed of inch-thick steel mesh. There was no interior padding, and no restraint webbing. A trapdoor sat on top. The access ladder had been torn from its moorings long ago, but he managed to climb up the pitted frame of the cage itself. The sky was darkening and he hurried. He opened the steel hatch and dropped inside with a grunt, favoring his injured leg. He lowered the trap closed and forced the rusted bolts home. The first gust of wind roared around the boulder and bit at him as he settled into position with his rucksack in his lap, his back to the approaching storm. He lashed himself to the cage’s frame
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited December 13, 2008).]
posted
Yes. I would definitely keep reading. The imagery was very clear and I got a definite sense of foreboding. I would read on just to find out more about a world/place that has such bad storms as to require lashing oneself to a steel cage. Also, the writing was nicely done, there was a good rhythm to the language that made it very easy to read.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Sep 2008
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I keep wondering why someone would favor their injured leg. I'd go out of my way to avaoid using it...
Anyways, you better explain what the cage is for and the reasons why it is neccessary pretty soon or its going to be a wasted tease, but all in all very good. I'd keep reading.
[This message has been edited by Lyrajean (edited December 14, 2008).]
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Thanks, folks. It's a far-in-the-future post-apocalyptic Earth where climate change has dramatically altered the weather...I'll ask for a read through when I'm finished my revisions.
Posts: 11 | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Oh, I like this! Impending doom and a resourceful MC…
Nits: “The blow cage was anchored to the base of a boulder…” The boulder’s base is its bottom, right? At first I thought the boulder was on top of the cage. When you said circumference I pictured a round ball.
“lowered the trap closed” -- I would expect door or hatch, not trap. You have three references to the door.
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