[This message has been edited by NicerSimon (edited January 15, 2009).]

[This message has been edited by NicerSimon (edited January 15, 2009).]

[This message has been edited by NicerSimon (edited January 15, 2009).]

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Simon opened his eyes and immediately wished he hadn’t. He was awake and there was no procrastinating the day light.

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Sitting up in the chair he had fallen asleep in, Simon stretched and remembered the body lying on the floor next to him. Like a tidal wave, the events of the previous night flooded back into his mind and he nearly drowned in the pain it brought.

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Getting up he stood over the young man lying face down on the floor. He looked at him for a moment. He was young with blonde hair and lanky, not quite a man. His arms were still restrained behind his back, as Simon had left them. Angrily, Simon kicked him in the ribs.

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And why is Simon angry? Because the fellow he trussed up is still where he left him?

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“Wake up.” He said loudly.

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All of these things can be fixed with a little tweaking, but there is something else. As a reader I have a serious weakness, and it's this: if I don't like the MC, I won't like the book; however well-crafted it might be, and however good the story. I find it very hard to like Simon at this point. Okay, so he's in pain; based upon the evidence in view, he deserves to be. My sympathies are all with the fellow he's kicking--when he's down, no less. It would be a monumental task to rehabilitate Simon from this point. I probably wouldn't want to keep reading.

To be constructive: if Simon's meant to be the good guy, then I really suggest you try to make him sympathetic. Good guys are allowed to lose their tempers sometimes, but the provocation needs to be both visible and immediate. Perhaps he's got very good reasons to hate the helpless blond kid, but your readers don't know what they are, and Simon has had a night's sleep to cool down from any initial rage impulse. Lashing out at someone who murdered your sister is understandable; tying someone up and then kicking him in the ribs the next morning is thuggish and brutal, and it's hard to like a brutal thug.

OTOH, if Simon's not meant to be the good guy, then you could keep the opening substantially as is: but I suggest you don't put us on first name terms with him. Call him something to let us know where you stand WRT him, such as "Major Bloodnock."

Keep in mind, of course, that that is only one reader's perspective. Others may see things differently, but there's probably not a lot of people who would be cheering for Simon after the first 13. If I did keep reading at all, it would be to see if he gets his Comeuppance.

'there was no procrastinating the day light' - daylight is one word, and 'procrastinating' doesn't make sense there.
'Sitting up in the chair he had fallen asleep in' - normally I don't care about the whole 'no prepositions at the end of sentences / clauses' thing, but it sounds clunky here. I'm not suggesting you say 'the chair in which he had fallen asleep', but that you rework it entirely and find a different way of introducing the chair (if at all).
'and remembered the body' - I thought it was an actual corpse until Simon kicked the guy and said 'wake up'. I felt a little cheated - having your MC wake up and remember that there's a dead body on the floor was, if a little blunt, quite a good hook for me. Then it got taken away a couple of sentences later. Just personal preference, but maybe a word other than 'body' would help.
'Like a tidal wave, the events of the previous night flooded back into his mind and he nearly drowned in the pain it brought' - personally, I'm not a fan of the tidal wave metaphor. Aside from that, it's a bit too deliberate and dramatic - it loses its own potency. Like, if I said 'he turned around, and was really really really shocked' - it's too much, and as a result, we don't feel the shock at all.
'“Wake up.” He said loudly.' - 'loudly' is a bit feeble.

Overall, I am not sure what to make of this opening, because I don't see the hook. I was momentarily interested when I thought the body was a corpse, but all we have is 'two guys in a room, one of whom is tied up'. It's too vague an idea to pique my interest. You don't always need an instant, high-contrast hook, of course - interesting prose [nice description, etc] or an engaging character can be enough to start with, and buy you time to introduce your story in more detail. Problem is, I think you're balancing it all on 'the events of the previous night flooded back into his mind and he nearly drowned in the pain it brought', and for me that's not enough. I need to know more about your story and quicker.

On the plus side, it's not riddled with awful prose or anything like that - it just needs a little spice.