Hatrack River Writers Workshop   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Books » The Shaman's Curse, First Four Chapters

   
Author Topic: The Shaman's Curse, First Four Chapters
Meredith
Member
Member # 8368

 - posted      Profile for Meredith   Email Meredith         Edit/Delete Post 
I've been over the first four chapters with a fine tooth comb. Is anybody willing to read them as a block (just under 8500 words) and let me know how well they work?

Here are the first 13 again:

Vatar could not contain his elation. A joyful whoop escaped his lips as he cantered away from the herd with the other two boys. They were going to get away with it! The herdsmen had no reason to suspect their real plans or to try to stop the boys.

Torkaz returned Vatar’s grin, confident, as always, that his plan would work.

In his joy, Vatar leaned forward, urging his horse to go faster. Torkaz and Fenar recognized the challenge to a race. Soon the three boys were galloping across the open grassland.
But Vatar did not keep the lead for long.

Vatar would never be able to outrace his younger brother. Fenar was by far the best horseman of the three.


Posts: 4633 | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gaudrhin
Member
Member # 8557

 - posted      Profile for Gaudrhin   Email Gaudrhin         Edit/Delete Post 
I'm curious to read more!
Posts: 50 | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Owasm
Member
Member # 8501

 - posted      Profile for Owasm   Email Owasm         Edit/Delete Post 
I'll risk a read.
Posts: 1608 | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Wufiavelli
New Member
Member # 8248

 - posted      Profile for Wufiavelli   Email Wufiavelli         Edit/Delete Post 
would be my first critique reading ever but would be willing to try
Posts: 8 | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2