Her mother collapsed on the hall bench with her head in her hands. From the landing at the top of the stairs, all Laura could see was the shine on the shoes and the pressed trousers of three uniformed men. She heard them say her dad was missing in the war. She didn’t cry. Instead, she turned down the hall and slowly opened the door to his office.
She picked up a picture from his desk and blew off the dust. Her dad looked back at her and held a small girl in his arms, her front tooth gone as she held a baton over her head. Laura wore a red and white majorette uniform that day she won the drill competition. Her dad’s face beamed. That must have been seven almost eight years ago.
Her mother was sobbing now. Laura quietly stepped around the ...
I've written a 65,000 world middle grade novel about a 13 year old girl whose father is Missing in Action in the Afghanistan War. She soon finds herself in a battle against a force just as terrifying and dark as the Taliban. It's the first of a trilogy and her success in this world is vital to her return home as well as her father's ultimate escape and return.
Her alternate world has magical elements and relics and the animals talk but otherwise the setting is 12th century medieval. I mention the baton in the opening because her weapon in this world is the staff.
Not sure the genre? fantasy, magical realism? I hope to have elements of historical fiction as I draw parallels to today's war. I appreciate any feedback.
If there's a second, more magical world involved, I'd call it fantasy.
Depending on the balance between this world and the other, possibly urban fantasy. But only if a significant part of the story occurs here.
It's 65,000 words and a trilogy. In your place, I'd consider making your main character a year or two older and placing this as YA rather than MG. It's a little long for MG. Just something to think about.
[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited March 14, 2011).]
Thanks for taking the time to write. The story occurs mostly in the other world, so fantasy I guess. I was not sure between YA and middle grade and figured I just write the best story I could write.
That's very helpful. I will consider making Laura older.
I saw dog agility in your profile! Two of my main characters are dogs. Belgian Malinois in the story which I own but I haev a mini aussie too. You see, I write why I love. So naturally, we have Regar and Dolf [2 canines] as primary characters. :-)
quote:I saw dog agility in your profile! Two of my main characters are dogs. Belgian Malinois in the story which I own but I haev a mini aussie too. You see, I write why I love. So naturally, we have Regar and Dolf [2 canines] as primary characters. :-)
My two are Cardigan Welsh corgis. But there's a Mal in our agility class. Rosie makes everything look so easy compared to my short-legged wonders. And two regular aussies, too. (although Brody's on the small side.)
[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited March 14, 2011).]
posted
Grayhog, you edit your own posts by clicking on the pencil and paper icon (called the "edit icon") that is rightmost above each post. It takes you to a page that looks like the reply page, with your post in a reply box, and you save the edit, when you're done, just as you would with an original reply.
You can also use the edit icon to see how another poster did something tricky, so you can try to do it, too.
I'm the only one who can edit posts I didn't write, however.
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And two regular aussies, too. (although Brody's on the small side.)
