Hatrack River
Home   |   About Orson Scott Card   |   News & Reviews   |   OSC Library   |   Forums   |   Contact   |   Links
Research Area   |   Writing Lessons   |   Writers Workshops   |   OSC at SVU   |   Calendar   |   Store
E-mail this page
Hatrack River Writers Workshop Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Books » New Query for FIRE AND EARTH

   
Author Topic: New Query for FIRE AND EARTH
Meredith
Member
Member # 8368

 - posted      Profile for Meredith   Email Meredith         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, why didn't I anticipate this. I didn't really expect Pitch Wars to result in a request--but it did. [Big Grin]

And the old query (number 8 of its kind) doesn't work as well anymore.

I've attempted to gin up a new query based on the (apparently successful) pitch. [Smile]

quote:
Seventeen-year-old Casora has been raised to be a fearless warrior, commander of the faceless war band known as the Deathless. Nevertheless, she and her company are helpless to stop the invasion of their homeland. Without a country, the Deathless are left to turn mercenary and offer their services to fight the same raiders who conquered their nation.

As the youngest prince and the one least likely to be of use in the war, eighteen-year-old Tiaran is about to be forced into a political marriage to a girl he hates. Rather than be used to secure the loyalty of an opportunistic general, he runs off to fight in the war himself. His first battle is about to be his last when Casora swoops in to rescue him.

When these two unlikely allies join forces on the battlefield, they'll change the course of the war and shake the foundations of kingdoms.

FIRE AND EARTH is a 72,000-word young adult fantasy. Readers who liked Kristin Cashore's GRACELING will enjoy FIRE AND EARTH. I have included [whatever the agent wants].

Thank you for your time.

This version is actually *gasp* short. Any thoughts?
Posts: 3934 | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MartinV
Member
Member # 5512

 - posted      Profile for MartinV   Email MartinV         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, I want to read it. Is it on Smashwords?

I think you've simply done too many of these too like them anymore. Do you send them out before improving?

[ January 24, 2013, 05:58 PM: Message edited by: MartinV ]

Posts: 1271 | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Meredith
Member
Member # 8368

 - posted      Profile for Meredith   Email Meredith         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by MartinV:
Well, I want to read that. Is it on Smashwords?


No. Or not yet, anyway. I'm still trying to go the traditional route with this one.
Posts: 3934 | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MartinV
Member
Member # 5512

 - posted      Profile for MartinV   Email MartinV         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You can still put it on Smashwords. It's not like you sign a contract, it's distribution, not publishing.
Posts: 1271 | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Meredith
Member
Member # 8368

 - posted      Profile for Meredith   Email Meredith         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by MartinV:
You can still put it on Smashwords. It's not like you sign a contract, it's distribution, not publishing.

Um, no. It's not unheard of, but pretty rare for agents to rep something that's already been published (yes, it is considered published) on Smashwords or Amazon.

However, if you really want to read it, I wouldn't mind a new set of eyes on the revised ms. [Wink]

Posts: 3934 | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Grumpy old guy
Member
Member # 9922

 - posted      Profile for Grumpy old guy   Email Grumpy old guy         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Meredith, my only suggestion would be *not* to compare your writing to other peoples styles. The agent you're pitching to may actually hate that story.

Phil.

PS. I thought the pitch was pretty compelling. I'd do it a bit differently, but then I'm a tyro at this sort of stuff.

Posts: 669 | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Meredith
Member
Member # 8368

 - posted      Profile for Meredith   Email Meredith         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actually, Grumpy, that's something else that's recommended in query letters. I don't do it all the time.

Check out Elana Johnson's From the Query to the Call. It's free.

Posts: 3934 | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Natej11
Member
Member # 8547

 - posted      Profile for Natej11   Email Natej11         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've seen more than a few queries with something like "Think Lord of the Rings meets Dances with Wolves" etc. It's a way for agents/publishers to have some idea of what your story will be like without having to read through it. Even if they don't like the story, they'll at least get some insight into your style and the type of book you're offering.

I'm not sure I'd ever go that route in my own queries, since I don't spend much time comparing my style to that of famous authors so I wouldn't know who to compare myself to.

Posts: 603 | Registered: Mar 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
extrinsic
Member
Member # 8019

 - posted      Profile for extrinsic   Email extrinsic         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Query comparisons to published works are a method for expressing a writer's intended target audiences. This is part of the third part of a query, a work's context and texture.
Posts: 3529 | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
Administrator
Member # 59

 - posted      Profile for Kathleen Dalton Woodbury   Email Kathleen Dalton Woodbury         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I tried that kind of pitch to an editor once, and was told that the story sounded too derivative.
Posts: 8027 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Natej11
Member
Member # 8547

 - posted      Profile for Natej11   Email Natej11         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury:
I tried that kind of pitch to an editor once, and was told that the story sounded too derivative.

I think comparisons are probably best used for agents. Publishers won't care as much about style as sellability and they're inundated with knockoffs and fanfics.
Posts: 603 | Registered: Mar 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MattLeo
Member
Member # 9331

 - posted      Profile for MattLeo   Email MattLeo         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Natej11:
I think comparisons are probably best used for agents. Publishers won't care as much about style as sellability and they're inundated with knockoffs and fanfics.

Hmm. If you go through the shelves at your local bricks-and-mortar store, you'll find a small number of seminal books, and many, many more that are best described by the old mantra, "the same, only different." A solidly written book that strongly reminds you of some hit, without being an actual knock-off, is bound to be the easiest sale to make.

If your work actually resembles that of a popular author, I don't think there is any shame in mentioning that unless you are consciously copying. There are certainly writers that have had a strong influence on my writing, screenwriter Ben Hecht and satirist P.G. Wodehouse for example. If that'd do me any good, I'd mention it, although I think agents and editors are looking for another "Dresden Files", not "His Girl Friday" or "Right Ho, Jeeves".

I have a friend whose first published novel features a protagonist with a number of striking parallels to Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse. The parallels are superficial and unintentional, but that just put her in the "same, but different" sweet spot. Reviewers frequently describe her book as a mix between Sookie Stackhouse and the Dresden Files, which the publishers and agent must have seen coming.

Posts: 1348 | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Estee
Member
Member # 9824

 - posted      Profile for Estee   Email Estee         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Are Casora and Tiaran from the same kingdom? That's the only thing that confused me. Otherwise, very well done.
Posts: 21 | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
shimiqua
Member
Member # 7760

 - posted      Profile for shimiqua   Email shimiqua         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Don't fix what ain't broke. This is compelling to me. I'd want to read on.
Posts: 1193 | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2