One fateful day, my superiors send me and a few other warriors to free a very important Druid from a party of magicians- the men who the empire use to hunt down the Druids who resist them. In the attempt, I am captured, and the magicians use their mental powers to extract the secret location of my home from my mind. Although I escape, my home is destroyed before I can warn them. In addition, I am arrested by the Druid council, another secret camp and the rulers of our people, and put on trial for revealing the location of my home. They decide I cannot be executed because I did not willingly give up the location, but exile me because I was still responsible.

Already angry at the empire because they caused the death of my parents, I am further maddened by grief because I feel responsible for the death of my best friend and the girl that I love. I soon run into a runaway magician who has stolen a very important artifact from the empire. He reveals that some of my people have been taken to an impenetrable prison, including the girl I love, that only one person has ever escaped alive- the rogue magician who I am speaking to. He offers to help me in exchange for helping him recover an ancient magic using the artifact that he stole. I agree, desiring to restore my honor, silence the guilt, and rescue the people that I love.

Your tale sounds sad but at the same time adventurous with plenty of chances for bravery and redemption even if it is more of a personal or self redemption.

There were five of us sent on the rescue mission. We were under the direction of Kalar, who had handpicked all of us because of our trustworthiness and ability. One of the men was killed. Kalar and two others escaped. I was the only one captured.

Generally, how does a confrontation between a wizard party and a Druid party take place? Is there rough parity in combat, or do the Druids have to use elements of surprise or special protection? How in general do Druid groups survive and coordinate when the state has both organizational power and magic to hunt them down.

It sounds like you have a kind of heist/quest going on. Why would this rogue magician turn to *you* for help? Are Druid's particularly good at cat burglar type tasks? Is he looking for martial arts muscle? Most importantly, is it simple *coincidence* that you run into this guy, or is he looking for somebody just like you.

Druids and Magicians both work in groups to be most effective against one another. After our ancestors mixed with other peoples, our powers grew weaker and split. Instead of all of us being able to manipulate all three energies, we can only manipulate one- actually half of one.

For example, I can manipulate physical energy within myself. This means I can make myself faster, stronger, and more agile. I can see farther and hear better. I can even heal myself to a degree. This makes me a valuable warrior.

Others can manipulate physical energy, but outside of themselves. We call them elementalists, because they have some control over the elements in nature.

The same applies for mental and spiritual energy. (By the way- I'm still working through the 'magic system.' Thanks for the questions- they help.)

Magicians are infamous for their mind powers. Those of them who can manipulate mental energy outside of themselves can delve into other people's minds. Our ancestors decided this was immoral, so we lost this secret.

One way the Druids survive is through our connection to nature. Those who deal with spiritual powers can make connections with the very spirits of the trees, the animals, etc... They are able to be aware of what is going in the world through nature, and warn our leaders of any potential danger.

Mostly though- we survive because we don't know where each other are. This allows us to hide- but we lack the cohesiveness to fight effectively against the empire. We don't know where the High Druid Council is. We actually found out that one of the Druids that we were trying to rescue from the Magicians was a Shaman, or a spiritual leader from the that very council.

In a very broad sense, very few of our people are called Druids. Our people are called the Durai, and they live and are oppressed by the empire. But all of the Druids hide in the mountains in resistance. We are not divided so much through security as we are through disagreement. Different groups of Druids disagree on how to fight the empire. Our group has taken upon ourselves a duty to destroy any imperials or magicians who come into the mountains- because we at least know the council is there. Other groups are passive and only hide(like the council), while others conduct terrorist attacks on the main cities in the empire. These groups are viewed as extremist and dangerous by the council.

The rogue magician finds me almost immediately after my exile. He claims he needs my help for these reasons: first- he doesn't know the way to his destination, but I do. He knows I know because he probed into my mind and found the information. Memories cannot be stolen from our minds. He tells me they can be read like books- even our unconcious memories. My memory that he needs is from my childhood- I barely remember it. Second- he does need a body guard. There's only so much you can do with just your mind, and he's being hunted by the empire, too. (Incidentally, I find out that's why the empire has been so active in the mountains lately, they've been looking for him.)

The Druid council is the spiritual authority of our people. They are the only Shamans that we know of. They do send out warriors to the various tribes to relay messages to us concerning their wishes. But each tribe is fairly autonomous. The council only gets involved in judicial matters with serious crimes- like mine. When they arrested me and took me into trial, they put a bag over my head and knocked me unconcious until we arrived. The whole trial was conducted with the bag on my head. I could hear what was going on, but had no idea where I was- thus they kept their location secret. I was also knocked out when they sent me away. They at least had the decency to give me some food.

Here are some questions to ponder (not necessarily answer right away).

(1) What are the limitations of Alion's knowledge?

(2) How would Alion answer these questions differently than other major characters? How would he *sound* different from them?

(3) How do Alion's desires, viewpoints and attitude mark him as different from his peers?

(4) It sounds like stuff happens to Alion that sets him apart. He *happens* to be chosen for the rescue mission. He *happens* to be the one whose mind gets read. He *happens* to be the one who escapes. It *happens* to be *his* girlfriend who survives, providing him with a motive to work hard. Alion *happens* to run into the rogue magician. It's normal in early drafts for the weight of the authorial hand to be in evidence, but how does Alion's indiduality make these things come about? What is different about the choices he makes?

You can pick any successful fantasy, and if you answer these kinds of questions for the protagonist you'll see that they make him stand out. For example, let's take Harry Potter:
1) Doesn't understand the wizarding world initially; doesn't learn Dumbledore's plan for him until near the end of the last book. Must operate largely on faith.
2) Harry is one of the least informed of his peers. He does not try to hide this, and is in general self-effacing unless challenged.
3) Harry starts out longing for a place where he belongs, but when he finds it he feels the need to prove he belongs there. His status is constantly wobbling toward "outsider", but rather than trying to get "in" with the insiders, this reinforces his sympathies with the outsiders. Consequently he is always trying to prove he and other outsiders deserve their place in the world.
4) While generally modest, Harry never refuses a challenge, never backs down, never turns aside in the face of danger, never compromises where the fate of the expendable people are concerned. His stubbornness in these matters often leads him into trouble.

So if we were to have a conversation with Harry, say in the middle of book 1, what would come across is a boy who is modest, somewhat worried about his lack of knowledge and ability, but underneath that we'd see that he is already forming strong critical opinions about the world he has entered (the people on top are not his favorites). He'll show us subtle hints of his quiet but intense determination to prove himself.

Now Rowling's wizarding world is notoriously elaborate. Millions of people around the world can explain how Quidditch works and not a few can tell us how the game evolved from its early roots -- probably far more than could give a coherent account of how modern democracy evolved in the English speaking world from the pre Civil War limited monarchy. How is this possible? I've made a particular study of the scene where Quidditch is explained to the reader, and it would be the stuff of readers' nightmares, but for a simple equation. This stuff really matters to Harry, and we identify with Harry, therefore it really matters to us.

World building is obviously very important to fantasy; arguably it's the definition of fantasy, and it is certainly what keeps us returning to fantasy. So naturally when we set out to write a fantasy, most of us start with the rules, logic, history even in some cases politics and natural history of the story world. I've lost track of the number of first draft manuscripts I've critiqued, and I'd say better than 9/10 of them have elaborately overbuilt worlds but are weak on plot and characterization. That's OK in the early stages, or maybe even in a first draft, but the result is like reading a dry history book until you set up this equation: this stuff matters to the characters, we identify with the characters, therefore this stuff matters to us.

That's not to say there aren't a few eccentric connoisseurs of world building who are fascinated by arbitrary rules of magic or artificial histories per se. But in most cases our investment in your universe will follow our investment in your characters and their agenda.

So let's get back to Alion. How can his answers make him sound interesting and real? What are the *specifics* that make him recognizable and understandable as an individual? How does that individuality mark him for *this* adventure? How do his answers show the limitations of his knowledge (thus setting him apart from the omniscient author)? Can he sometimes reveal more than he consciously means to say?