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Yesterday I refused an offer to go to the midnight showing of ROTK, because I was planning on taking my wife to Boise on a date this weekend to see it. I got laughed at all day because "you're don't have to date your wife anymore, you're married!" I've never thought about not dating my wife, is it really that uncommon?
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I don't know how uncommon it is elsewhere, but I know that it seems to be a big emphasis among Latter-day Saints.
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IMO, frequent dates with your spouse are absolutely the best way to be sure you STAY married.
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I date Ron all the time, whenever we can manage a sitter. I like getting dressed up for him, and stuff. We have a date tonight to see RotK. I'm wearing my Sexy Boots(TM Jenny Gardener).
One time, the first time we used a particular baby sitter, I came downstairs in slacks and a nice top. He said, "Tartier" and I went back up. The baby sitter snickered at us. I guess I was wearing clothes I used to wear to the office, but Ron would rather go out with me looking "hot."
My fear is that I look like an old lady who doesn't know her hotness has passed, but I guess Ron is the only one I care about pleasing, so there you go.
Anyway, I love dating my hubby, and not just because he's a sure thing.
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I'm not sure I date my wife. I mean, we pretty much revel in each other's company on a daily basis, and can't wait to see each other after we get home from out respective jobs, and we go out together all the time to movies, the gym, bookstores and libraries (we often end up spending hours more than we'd planned in those last two), or museums, or out to eat, or just out for appetizers, or coffee, or go to the farmer's market together, or wander downtown together looking at neat stuff we'd have no use for if we actually owned it, but dating each other? I don't know. Did I just describe a bunch of dates? We never get dressed up and go to something we'd need a reservation for. We never go dancing. Do we date? I have no idea. We have a lot of fun together though.
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We've gotten all dressed up, tux and evening gown and the works, to take a picnic basket into the bedroom. Does that count?
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I think having children makes a difference, Noemon. Ron and I always did stuff together. Just having fun, going out, staying in, snuggling by the fire, etc.
But when you have children, you really have to plan for the time together, alone. We still do lots of stuff together with the kids, and it's fun. But we still need to connect as individuals, one-on-one, and that takes planning and a little extra effort when you have children. I think that's what most of us are talking about.
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Do you have kids, Noemon? What you're describing sounds like dating to me, but married couples with kids who want to do that kind of thing alone for once have to make sure to plan it out and find babysitting and so on, so it's called dating. We rarely go out to reservations-type places, and getting my husband to go dancing is more difficult than climbing Everest , but anytime we manage to get out together alone is a date.
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My parents used to go out every Friday when I was little, but as my brother and I got older, they started going out less and less. In fact, Jamie and I LIKE it when they go out, because that means we have the run of the house.
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Yeah, I'm sure you guys are right--adding kids to the mix would change everything (which is why we haven't had any). I have enormous respect for parents in general, and I think I'd make a pretty good father, but I don't actually want children, and C actively doesn't want them. If either of us really wanted them, I think that the other one would catch the spirit of it and want them too (we kind of work that way), but as it is, each of our lacks of interest in having them is reinforced by the other's.
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Luckily, dangermom, neither C nor I actually likes dancing (well, C used to do ballet, and took various dance classes in college. She likes *that* sort of dancing, but not going out for an evening of dancing). I just look and feel ridiculous dancing, and try my best never to have to do it.
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Hubby and I date a couple of times a month. Last summer we took dancing lessons, which made it easy to plan our date nights. It was really great, though I discovered my beloved has almost no sense of rhythm. Oh well.
My brother and his fiancee date every other week, even though they've been living together the past year or so. They make special plans to make the date significant from the everday "just being together". I hope they keep it up after they're married and have kids. (They plan to.)
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Well, I shouldn't complain. My husband is an exemplary one in all other matters, and he has been known to get onto a dance floor in order to please me. Twice, I think. He will do it as a sacrifice for love, but he has to be bonked over the head with the opportunity, which doesn't come up often.
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I will be going out on my first date with my wife since Ryan was born the Saturday after Christmas. Her sister will be staying with us and has practically begged us to let her babysit.
We haven't decided whether it will be dinner and a movie or just get a hotel room.
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From watching my parents, dating or "going out together" after marriage is a highly advised thing.
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And another question: All of you married peoples who date and stuff, what are some of the funnest dates you've had for the least money? Jon Boy and I are new to this. The "get to know you" dates don't seem to make much sense anymore, but we're trying to make Friday night date night.
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There was one time that my wife and I went with her little sister and her boyfriend (at the time), on a date. We went to the local Wal-Mart to see which team could buy the most individual things with five bucks (a bag of Skittles counts as one thing), needless to say we won. Afterwards we went to Sonic to get some cheap burgers and figure out how to use what we bought. My wife and I found a HUGE pair of purple panties for 85 cents that were still on the hanger (yes, they needed the hanger), we also had puffy paint, rope and some other misc. stuff. We drew some obscene comment on the panties and tied them to the back of our car so they would flap in the wind. All fun and games right? Well, puffy paint is really hard to get off of a bumper, it's still there and the date was almost a year ago.
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Keep up dating your wife, before she gets a ridiculous screen name and starts acting out on internet fora.
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I WISH I could get my husband to date me! He's very much a homebody, AND a cheapskate, but I still love him a lot. We've been getting out more now that we have some friends who like to have us over for grown-up fun. However, if I want to GO OUT, I usually have to invite my own friends or beg.
Not to say that staying in can't be nice, especially when the kid is sleeping over at Grandma's.
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