posted
I can't believe a)this is happening b)this is happening at this age...
Oh well...
My course has a year long capstone project where we're put into groups of 5. My major is small enough that everybody knows everybody. So... I was put into a group with 1 guy and 3 other girls.
The guy isn't the most... sane... he spazes out and is rather violent. When finding out a grade he doesn't like, he's known to destroy garbage cans, etc.
He didn't contribute anything in the portfollio portion of the project for the first semister (worth 50%) of our overall grade. He lost us a large amount of marks in fact. 100 out of 320.
At anyrate, the prof in charge kicked him out of the course. Therefore he fails. This means he can't graduate this year... and sign up again for another whole year of studies to graduate (and the same prof will be running the course again).
Well... of course he's upset.
And to top it off, before this class, I concidered him a decent friend of mine.
He's blaming me for being kicked out. I had nothing to do with it though... this was the email he just sent me:
"I hope youre ****ing happy now. i love the fact that you didnt even say anything to me first you b****. i hope you burn in hell, after being *** raped by your father and seeing your mother die over and over again in front of you. its all a prissy, uptight little **** like you deserves.
dont ever speak to me again"
(I edited out the bad words)
And... of course... since he's louder then me, a lot of people are blaming me. Those who are in my group know it's not my fault as does some other close friends. But I am for sure getting the blunt of anger.
So... I dunno what to do... should I bother trying to fix things with him and I? I will never be his friend, but I'd rather him not blame me for the rest of his life for failing him...
I also have to work closely with these people who are blaming me for something I didn't do... which I don't know if I can stand.
What about the email? The previous one also mentioned how I should die and he hoped someone would help me to die quicker... should I be reporting these to somebody?
I just don't know what to do and am all upset about this right now
I guess I'm just hoping for some reassurence and some advice... I'm sorry...
Posts: 944 | Registered: Jun 2001
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"Many of you are acting out against me on the basis of accusations made by a third party. I am astounded that none of you to date has had the common courtesy to even ask for my side of the story. Had you done so, you would have quickly learned that there is another side to the story being circulated. Maybe you would have believed it; maybe not. All we can know now is that you have been willing to condemn a person behind their back based on obviously biased accounts of the situation.
For shame!"
P.S. - you should never again acknowledge this jerk's existence.
posted
well at least you still have your friends and (if worst comes to worst) it sounds like you graduate at the end of this year, so you'll only have to put up with that for a few months. Not exactly ideal I know, but at least its something. Posts: 187 | Registered: Jan 2005
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quote:So... I dunno what to do... should I bother trying to fix things with him and I? I will never be his friend, but I'd rather him not blame me for the rest of his life for failing him...
Personally, I'd stay away from him. I'd not ever want to speak to someone again after getting that email from them.
quote:What about the email? The previous one also mentioned how I should die and he hoped someone would help me to die quicker... should I be reporting these to somebody?
I think you should. Getting sent two e-mails saying that he wants you to die is very freaky. On one hand, if you go to the cops...I really don't know what they would do other than put it on record (I have no clue how the legal system treats that kind of thing) but it would freak me out to not do anything.
Posts: 1901 | Registered: May 2004
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posted
If he represents any real danger, report him to your college. It sounds as though someone should have done this a few years ago. He will blame you or others for his failures as long he wants, so why worry about something that is not your problem?
Posts: 281 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
If the messages make you afraid, then I think you should probably report them. You ought to do what makes you feel safe, even if it might have negative consequences for him. He took that risk when he sent death threats.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Jaiden, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. That email is truly one of the ugliest things I have ever read.
Check your college's handbook to find out what constitutes harassment. That section should tell you what the steps for reporting are.
I don't think there's anything to salvage here. This person was never your friend - even at my most enraged, I could never say anything like that to a friend, no matter what they had done. What you need is protection from him.
He failed the course for not doing the work, not because of anything you did. He will probably always blame you, since he obviously cannot take responsibility for his own actions.
As to the people who are blaming you for this situation, simply forward them his emails to you. That should make them see what is really going on and, if not, then they're not worth caring about anyway.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
I'd report it to both the college and the police. Now.
I'd also never talk to him again or otherwise voluntarily have anything to do with him. I would seriously consider a restraining order.
As for the other students, I don't know. I'd be tempted to write a letter like Dagonee suggests. I don't know that I would actually tell everyone what this guy did. It could be seen as gossip and just trying to make him look bad as revenge. You know those people - you'll have to judge what's best.
Good luck and stay safe.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Oh my gosh! Send those e-mails to the Dean of Students immmediately; he/she can help you decide whether to contact the police. DO NOT worry about what will happen to this creep.
posted
By the way, I agree with everyone who thinks you should forward these to someone in the administration. Do it soon so that IT can possibly save the records that prove they came from him.
posted
I hadn't even thought about that. Good heavens! Of course you have to act fast so that IT can still prove where they came from. Thanks for pointing that out, Dag.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
This guy scares me and I am concerned for your safety. He has violent tendencies, and he has threatened you repeatedly. Do whatever it takes, and soon, to make sure this guy doesn't hurt you.
Posts: 4089 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
For a small fee I can take care of the guy. In the meantime, keep a low profile and don't spend large amounts of money on anything.
Posts: 222 | Registered: Sep 2001
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posted
I cannot imagine ever sending that e-mail to am worst enemy! I would send it on to the Dean of Students. Might as well make sure he isn't a threat. I think he deserves any and all punishment he might get.
Posts: 1015 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Thank you very much for your advice... I printed the emails out and gave them to my dean on Friday. He's rather new and asked if it would be okay if we sat down Monday to talk about it- he wanted to get advice first on how to proceed.
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