posted
I'm really tired. Is there such a thing as wanting this whole life thing to be done with already? I don't mean doing anything, obviously, but everyone gets sentenced to a certain amount of time, and is it so weird to hope for a reduced sentence?
I'm just really tired of fighting.
Posts: 12266 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I don't think it's very strange. Sometimes life just gets you down, but you have to try and think of the good things that you would miss. I know that's hard to do, but that's what I try to do when I'm feeling sad.
Posts: 1789 | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
StarLisa, I've felt like that several times before. Sometimes you come to a point where you feel so exhausted of the day-to-day struggle against everything, you wish you could just hurry up and die. Trust me: it's temporary. You will wake up one morning and you'll have so many things you want to do that you won't know where to start and you'll be afraid you won't have enough time. It's sort of a cycle.
Also, it may be the weather. I don't know about you, but weather affects me an awful lot, even when I try not to let it.
posted
I am having one of those periods of time too. Just wait it out and find something to look forward to. Do your best to change things in the future to be what you want them to be. Look for a different job or a different location or something else that will be more to your liking and make all the struggles worthwhile
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
I feel like that myself sometimes. Not to be a pest, but really, any way I can help? I'm a good baby sitter. And give great backrubs - a nod to the title of the thread.
I'm guessing that you mean fighting regarding your injury? If you mean the verbal sparring here, well we can fix that, but you are so much fun to watch! Always smart (even when you're completely wrong). Pretend I stuck one of those irritating smilies there.
Posts: 11187 | Registered: Sep 2005
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I was depressed as an adolescent and actually attempted suicide. For the past 15 years or so, I've had this borderline irrational fear of death . . . like I took life so much for granted that now that I know it's worth living, I won't have it for very long. I don't want to ever die. And I have this heartbreaking certainty that I will not live very long. Nobody in my family lives very long--no man has made it to sixty in recent memory, though my father is only a year and a half away from being the first. I'm not in the best of shape, nor in the best of health. And I could just cry at the thought of not living forever, or at least, not making it to eighty or ninety.
You could send me any extra life you don't want . . .
Actually, I'm sorry that you're not enjoying your "sentence." I hope that changes for you.
This may seem like a stupid question . . . it certainly would have to me back when . . . if you're not enjoying the life you're leading, why don't you go do the things you would enjoy? I live what I consider to be a very rich life. I like to think that I collect experiences. If something is different or interesting to me, I make an opportunity to go out and do it. I'm not talking about hedonism; I'm not talking about being irresponsible or immoral, but about living life, rather than merely enduring it.
posted
Why not give up the cognitive dissonance of trying to believe in ID in the face of all the evidence? That must take up a lot of energy.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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I'm just guessing, but I suspect Lisa is (or was, I'm hoping she's feeling at least somewhat better) feeling this way because of her chronic pain. Back pain is absolutely hellish.
Lisa, I wish you a refuah sheleimah, and quickly. I should have thought to ask you for your full Hebrew name previously. Oops! What is it?
As for what you posted, I think everyone feels that way sometimes. I certainly do -- from sheer exhaustion, mostly. But then I remember I am so NOT ready to face Hashem Yisborach, b'kvodo uv'atzmo. Not yet!
And my kids have been through enough. The least I can do is stick around a few more decades. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I've felt it Lisa, for a long period of time, and very severely. I'm never sure what advice to offer, because everyone is different, so no advice... just well wishing.
Oh. One peice of advice Get a sunlamp. Amazing devices that really help a LOT of people.
Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2001
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I have been here. Everything seemed so overwhelming and pain is like the volume control for the weight of the next straw.
For me, the only way I can get through the fatigue barrier is to concentrate on short term, attainable goals. Cleaning a drawer, doing my bills or making a phone call that I've "been meaning to make" set me on the path to overcoming the fatigue.
Posts: 2425 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
My advice was sincerely intended and well meant. If people choose not to take it in that spirit, that is their problem and not mine.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Honestly, you remind me a lot of myself, if that's not too condescending to write. But your writing voice particularly, with your penchant for astounding volumes of lucid argument, were me only a few years ago -- if from a radically different political orientation.
I burnt out. I've since mellowed dramatically, and resigned myself to enjoying life rather than saving the world. I'm slowly resigning myself to an eventual lifestyle I once feared and hated for its inevitability -- but with the woman I fell in love with, it might be worth the effort it takes to get there. It's why I'm a struggling pre-med right now, so I can get there someday. I haven't given up on my hopes for writing, and plan to walk into the mountains this summer with a sleeping bag and a candy bar and spend a month or two up there, just reflecting and writing, but I've different things to write about now.
I don't know. At some point, even I got sick of fighting. (If you knew me, you'd understand the significance of that statement.) I've found new interests to occupy my life until my death -- and since one of them has omg b00bz, the transition for world domination to suburbia's slightly more comfortable than I suspect it would have been otherwise. Love's a hell of a thing.
Damn, I don't know why I'm still talking. But know I'm from the same place. I still hold many of the same beliefs I did then, including disgust for comfortable life, but my focus has shifted -- I need to save myself before I can the world, and I have much to understand before I'll earn that. I know the feelings behind your initial post in this thread. For me, they still hold -- I'll think little of attacking a gang or a mugger, no matter the cost. But I now have other people to live for, and another person to watch out for, and responsibilites heavy on once-unburdened shoulders. I'm still willing to die, and that's perhaps irresponsible of me, but I now have at least the obligation to not pursue it.
Some things in life really are worth sticking it out for.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
during the most trying period of my relatively short life, i was told that a popular way of getting through it was living meal to meal, sunday to sunday. those things pobably don't mean to you what they did to me, but focusing on periodic events that you value may take away from the pain in the present. Like the caring and loving responses of these people who obviously care about you.
Posts: 1156 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Lisa, things will seem good again someday soon, I know. Just hang in there. Do something nice for yourself. Spend $50 or so and actually get a massage! Do something crafty that you wanted to do but didn't have time for. You just have to find small ways to relieve the pressure.
Hugs to you! Nik
Posts: 870 | Registered: Mar 2005
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I'm so happy for you. Just because your need to fix the world isn't fueled by anger, doesn't mean that you'll be any less effective. Change takes time and you've got that. I'm glad that you've learned how to enjoy the journey.
Posts: 2425 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Oh, honey, I feel for you. You sound tired and worn out. I hope that things look better for you soon. Are you sure that freaks don't get massages? I mean, non-freaks get them all the time, but I don't think that freaks are necessarily excluded.
Anyway, freakish or not, it sounds like it would make you feel better. Have some lady cover you in scented oils and skillfully rub you all over. Oh! and have her lay some hot rocks on your sore spots. I live with chronic pain, and while I rarely get massaged, when I do, it is a wonderful relief.
Feel better,
Your Shvester, Esther
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Eddie, that makes me extraordinarily happy. You'll need to tell me about the girl some time. *grin*
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Heh, thanks, guys. She's had one hell of an effect on me -- I think I'm even dangerously near wholesome, now. I'm pre-med now because though science and I do not get along, she deserves a secure future.
There's a lot to tell, and someday I'll do that, but for now just know that I'mimpossiblylucky.Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Lisa, I do know what it's like to have chronic pain and I know how hard it is somedays just to get up out of bed.
All I can say is hang in there, there will be good days and bad days and it's okay to have a bad day every now and then. Trust your body, do what it needs - if you need to rest, do so. Take a hot bath, yes - get a massage.
I'm so sorry you're having a down period. Hope things turn around for the better soon.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Eddie She's gorgeous. You ARE impossibly lucky.
Also, within the overall context of your post, " and since one of them has omg b00bz" had me rolling on the floor laughing.
Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2001
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Gah, I'm at a total loss for words. Just that, I know how you feel and the temptation to give up can be overwhelming sometimes. Seems like you're totally alone in the whole wide world.
*hugs* But you're not alone. Don't let it overwhelm you. You want to stop fighting, don't fight for a while. Let it all just roll off you like water off a duck's back.
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I'm just guessing, but I suspect Lisa is (or was, I'm hoping she's feeling at least somewhat better) feeling this way because of her chronic pain. Back pain is absolutely hellish. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
