posted
It's different when the trauma is caused by other family members and the rest of the family looks away, pretending to ignore it, or blames the victim for breaking up the family.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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Well, while the dizziness and nausea have passed to a great degree and I can move almost like normal, I am still grounded from driving myself since sudden movements still cause me to list alarmingly to the side before popping back upright.
This will mean another week not working. Sigh.
On the other hand, it means I can haunt Hatrack's pages still, which is cool.
Glad you all are here -
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
My family ain't big on charity, Ralphie - or even kindness. I think I was the changeling on the hilltop - much to their chagrin, puzzlement and general disgust. I am "too sensitive", etc. Whatever -
Oh well - obviously, an angel was driving because Nathan and I made it. Blessings abound.
And yeah - yay for Hatrack!
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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My boyfriend and I were walking on the SIDEWALK on our college campus when an 85 year old woman hit me and then kept on going! Bill had seen her coming and pushed me enough in time so that she didn't actually run over me - but the bumper hit my legs and threw me to the side.
Bill chased her car and finally stopped her by jumping on the drivers side of the hood! Then she stopped and didn't even know she'd hit me.
Even with the insurance payout to me (my summer school in Paris money), she didn't lose her license. She was blind as a bat! She worked at the movie theater right off campus (where she was late and thus careening down the street) and she never knew if you'd give her a $1 or a $20!! I saw her often there but of course she didn't recognize me - and I'd keep my eye out for her car whenever I'd walk down that street.
Posts: 874 | Registered: Oct 1999
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posted
No, KEGE - she didn't know - she wouldn't have even stopped except that my brother-in-law and sister were screaming for her to stop -
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
My word! I haven't updated you all in months! Well, here it is, short and sweet.
The vertigo did not get better until the end of November after several sessions with a physical therapist.
Once the vertigo got better, I realized how much pain I was still in - due to the impact and the fact that a body dealing with vertigo apparently holds itself stiff and in in twisted ways trying to compensate for the lack of balance - i.e., to keep from falling over on my nose - which happened a lot.
I am continuing in PT to rebuild atrophied muscles and get bone structures back in place. This is an extremely painful process. I am consistently between a 4-6 on an average day (1-10 scale) and sometimes it's much worse. For example, yesterday - I spent in a staff meeting with icepacks breathing deeply waiting for the pain to subside.
Pemco was not being nice about paying bills in a timely fashion, so I did hire an attorney. The bills are now being payed.
On the positive side: I can now throw a ball to Nathan without having to cling to something to hold me upright. I can stand at my computer without just falling over. I can get up off the floor or out of a chair without falling back down. The world doesn't constantly spin.
I am reassured that the "rebuilding" process will feel like steps forward and steps back, but that I will get better (and I have been), but that I will also face a lifetime of needing to monitor certain issues. Hmmm.
So, that's the update!
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
Oh, Shan! That news isn't quite as good as I'd hoped it would be. But, it is very good that your vertigo is better!
Posts: 2661 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I suppose all progress is a roller coaster. Up and down. All around. One step forward, one step back . . . two steps forward, one step back.
Getting woozy more often, including the spinning vertigo, complete with nausea. Lots of pain in the neck and shoulders. Tingling/numbness in hands and legs/toes again. Headaches (monstrous). Sleeping very poorly. Anxious. Moody. Irritable. Cry easily. Interspersed with flashes of the old "must get these things done NOW and PERFECTLY to boot." Having to start asking for help (which is not easy for me.)
Nathan commented this morning: "You're not the strong mommy I used to have."
To which I replied, "No, I'm not. That's what happens when you get hit by a car."
And Nathan says: "Are you ever going to get better, mommy?"
And what the hell am I supposed to tell him. The doctors don't even have any sure answers.
Okay - so that's the update.
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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I really don't know how you'd respond to Nathan. You could have said "of course" you'll get better, but you might be different. Strength isn't sameness? Something along those lines? Sounds like an opportunity to talk about a lot of things regarding strength and answers.
I hope you sleep well and I hope the meds aren't necessary long-term.
posted
Shan, my mom had to have her own mothers licence in FL revoked, and I think you should do the same. My grandma was dirving around with one arm, and on a morphine drip.....and she did it for years!
Go to the DMV or the state police and have it pulled before she kills someone.
Family politics be dammed, they aren't worth you life or the life of anyone else in your family.
And don't take any crap from them about it, tell them you will get over it when it is done ruining your life. It isn't your fault that she insists on driving.
Although she won't want to give it up...it's probably the last bit autonomy she has left, living with such a large family.
Do what is best for all involved, even if it isn't the easy thing to do. You don't want anyone else going through these things like you have to....or going through even worse.
posted
This is the first I'm seeing this thread thanks to Kwea's bump, so hopefully things are greatly improved over your April status report. I never would have anticipated a year-long (or more) recovery time from that accident! I also hope that Nathan is handling things okay and not suffering from any lingering emotional distress over seeing Great-Gram run into his mom.
I agree with the other posters that you need to take steps to get Gramma's license revoked and teh car taken away. I'm surprised that having so many emergency vehicles on site didn't generate an automatic investigation (but I'm used to living in the Chicago 'burbs so maybe that's the difference). If it hasn't already been done, I'd call the DMV and your grandmother's doctor to get her deemed unfit to drive.
Finally, I'm stunned at the reaction from the rest of your family. Bad enough that they're condoning Gramma driving around when she's not safe - considering you commented early in the thread that your mother's not stupid enough to ride with your gramma and see just how unsafe she really is - but worse to make you drive yourself around with the vertigo and lack of coordination you've been experiencing - and ESPECIALLY with Nathan in the car with you!
I'm glad to see you have an attorney involved, although I know that's going to become expensive for you in the end. Have you had any kind of discussion with him about how to stop Gramma from hurting anyone else?
{{{{{{{{{{{{Shan}}}}}}}}}}}}
Goody (who's all for mandatory drivers' testing past age 65 and in anyone with an excessive history of accidents and violations)
Posts: 4515 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
reminds me of my great grandmother. The one occasion I drove with her years ago I remember this:
dad - "grandma you have to pick a lane, you can't drive down the middle of the yellow line"
Grandma - "they'll get out of the way, they always do"
Mom sat white knuckled with a look of horror on her face the enitre time. I was never allowed in that car again.
Posts: 1294 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
I'm sorry, beatnix - I have to say I howled.
Okay - back to my story . . . Began acupuncture in early May. Wow! What a difference. Felt good enough in May to resume a selection of ordinary activities (for me, pre-accident, these would ne ordinary) outside of work and mommydom:
Bicycling Hiking Painting rooms Yard work
I really did these activities slowly and carefully. The set back after the second room was finished was awful. Literally, flat on my back, horrible pain, very limited movement. So now it is August, and I have been going to PT (Again). I will not paint any more rooms this summer. Promise.
Headaches are dimishing again, some lighter episodes of wooziness, also diminishing. Shoulder, neck, hip pain fairly constant but starting to diminish. Better range of movement. Again. Staying stable with the positive outlook and attitude . . . continuing to get my daily walks and muscle strengthening exercises.
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That's really tough. I guess you tell him you're doing your best, and so are the doctors, but sometimes there's no way to know.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
