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I agree with Icarus to a certain degree. Focus on the happy memories when you talk to him. A little crying is ok as long as you don't overdo it.
Men are always mystified by what starts on the waterworks in women so you won't be the first gal to surprise him with tears. I have had plenty of female friends burst out crying during our conversations. I just chalk it up to female sensibilities. Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I think Bob was the wisest when he said I need to work on establishing some type of benign friendship with Joe now, in order to displace the feelings from the past. Obviously the feelings of the past have him on a pedestal, and I need to see him now as a real human being in order to see him in the present and not focus on the past. I have not allowed myself to yet get to know him as he is now.
That's what I plan to do. And I don't cry thinking about it now that I have vented on all of you!
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Well -- I had a great lunch with "joe" and his wife.
I felt pretty emotional on the drive to the cafe, but asked God to PLEASE help me get emotions under control and have a normal lunch. And that happened -- everything was fine.
I told them mainly I just wanted to make sure that my presence at church was not uncomfortable for them. And that if my sister happens to come to church with me now and then (we often do this), that would not make them uncomfortable either.
They both assured me everything was fine.
I probably talked way too fast and too much during lunch, because I do that when I'm nervous.
But he asked me about what all I did with my life after high school, and how I came about going to this church. Then he told me what HE did after high school, and how he ended up in this church. And we caught up on mutual old friends and extended family members, etc.
Then we talked about kids (because I have three, and they have seven) -- a good safe topic to begin a new friendship as an adult.
I feel a great weight is lifted off of me.
Thanks so much, all of you, for helping me work through this.
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