posted
Jeni, sounds like a good program. Did you come out of it more sure of your decision to marry? Did you think you knew more about yourself and what you wanted in a spouse?
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Justa, I'd say that the real gap is where gays have no legal rights with regard to their partners. (Which happens with heterosexual couples that choose not to marry, btw. Years ago a friend of mine died leaving behind his longtime partner. She had no say in how his funeral was arranged and his family, who didn't like her, did not respect any of her wishes. It was a sad situation.) I have no problem at all with seeing that addressed. I think we need to tread carefully with calling it marriage, though. That's where it ventures into social experimentation, IMO.
Shi, yes, definitely came out of it more sure of the relationship. But I wouldn't say I was 100% sure about it until about 5 minutes before the ceremony. I knew pretty well what I wanted long before the counselling. Divorce and being single for a while clarified that fairly well for me. But mainly the counselling helped clear some of the distortion that comes from being ga-ga head over heals over someone. The second round of counselling we did (required by our church) had a test that was to show points of similarity and difference. And gave a distortion percentage that was supposed to indicate what percentage we were capable of viewing each other realistically (the higher the number, the less you're likely to view your partner realistically). We did fairly well with just a little over 80%. Sounds high, I know, and it worried me until our pastor pointed out that he only starts to be concerned about couples that range in the upper 90's.
In hindsight, I'm still very glad we did it -- both get married and get counselling first. Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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When you say "rub the wrong way" you make it sound like he's misunderstood and maybe he just stands up for himself a little too loudly. In reality, he sticks to name calling which doesn't appear to be in jest. (I don't know how you can call someone you aren't personally familiar with a "bigot" in jest.) Its not just that of course, he also is incapable of accepting others' opinions and insists on calling them children or idiots when they disagree with him. When he consistently behaves this way I have trouble feeling sorry for him when he gets banned.
Posts: 3446 | Registered: Jul 2002
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NFL, you know how I reacted to it when it happened - it's right here in this thread. Without going into the substance of your post, John can't defend himself here anymore. It's a little unseemly.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Right, Dag. Which is why I am not discussing it anymore. I merely posted an explanation, as I see it, for someone who doesn't know John. Let it end here, please.
Back to your regularly scheduled topic.
Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000
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People who like John's posting style can go find him on his own forum. Others should not have to put up with it.
Posts: 1996 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I'm just saying why I don't agree with this boohooing over him being gone as he personally attacked me at least twice. Frankly, if he wanted to defend himself he could have not gotten banned. For those who have been here long enough to remember, wasn't he banned multiple times or am I remembering someone else?
Posts: 3446 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Why does this thread have to go right back to the stupid argument from before when the potential discussion was showing some promise? If you want to attack the guy I agree with Dag and do it where he can either defend himself or fight back. Anything else is behaving like a coward.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Jutsa, unless you had a different SN at the time, you wouldn't have been here for that. If you're thinking of Baldar, I'm not. I'm pretty sure of the following (if I'm not someone who knows please correct me and I'll retract what I said about the being banned multiple times), John L is Leto, who was previously known as Leto II, and I think I remember hearing that he was "II" because he had been previously banned.
"John L" definitely went on the attack against me at least once and if he is Leto II as well he did it at least another time.
Posts: 3446 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Why don't you go take it up with him then? As far as I know you are making things up in this case, which if that is what you were attacked for by him then I would say it is deserved.
Now, can you please get back to the topic and shut the hell up about someone who isn't even here? If you want to attack someone, don't be a coward and go attack them.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Well, since there's no available e-mail and I don't feel like going over to GreNME just to attack him for obvious reasons, I don't think that's a realistic possibility.
On the other hand it doesn't seem fair that people get to express their sorrow for him being banned while others who don't feel the same way have to "shut the hell up."
Posts: 3446 | Registered: Jul 2002
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nfl, you have a valid point. It's not fair that others can talk about missing Leto, but you can't say anything negative.
On the other hand, jutsa has a valid point when he says that talking about Leto really serves no purpose and you are derailing the thread.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Really, can you take this to another thread? I originally revived this because I wanted to actually discuss the point that was made in the topic, and even stated my dislike of how it went off topic originally. The discussion was going nicely until the attacks of someone who isn't even here took place. If you want to start a thread baching him, go right ahead and don't expect me to take part because I didn't have any significant interaction with him.
The only thing I'm arguing about here is how you are derailing a discussion that actually started going somewhere by attacking in a cowardly manner someone who isn't even present. If you want his e-mail I'm sure you could get it. If you want to discuss the merits of his posts then you can take it to another thread.
Just stop derailing the discussion. It is more than a little annoying.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
Every time you continue to post on it you have something to do with it. That you will not just say something like, "hey, I'll go start another thread on it or get his e-mail from someone else here and complain," is totally your own doing. Stop it. Take it elsewhere.
Jeniwren, would changing the name of all marriage to civil union make it more acceptable? It wouldn't work if just gay marriage were called civil union, but if all were changed to civil union it would possibly work. Would doing that by legislation make it less problematic, do you think?
I ask because I don't think it will. People will still fight over using the term marriage, and dependning on who you ask and what direction they want to approach the argument, marriage will mean different things to different groups, as a word. To some it is a legal institution, to others it is based on the spiritual aspects of their faith. To cater to any one group by legislation would be against the basic precepts of our Constitution, as far as I can tell. I still see certain groups bickering to use "marriage" even after the legal status is changed to civil union.
Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Just a quick note: anyone who feels like talking shit about John ought to stop doing so behind his back. He has a website through which he can be contacted, either by e-mail or on his forum, where you are welcome to air your whiny-ass commentaries without fear of reprisals, like being banned. I know a lot of you can't stand his aggressive posting style, but feel free to be aggressive and honest with him, as he isn't likely to cry to his mommy about it.
posted
By the same token, anyone who wants to send him virtual flowers can do so via the same methods.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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I do not see why it matters if Christian people do have a high divorce rate. The Bible still allows for divorce. Even Jesus said the only reason to divorce is adultery. Perhaps these people in the Bible belt are just less accepting of adultery than their northern counterparts? A short while back wasnt there a thread about adultery in which it said something like 50% if people will commit adultery?
I dont know where I stand on this issue. At times I think that homosexuals do deserve the right to marry, after all this is a country where we pride ourselves on our freedom. Although on the other hand I do believe marriage is between a man and a woman, not between a man and a man, or a woman and a woman, so what is wrong with calling it something else? I do not believe a same sex partnership really is marriage. But then I think it doesnt really matter just let homosexuals marry, im not a homosexual what difference does it make?
Posts: 473 | Registered: Sep 2001
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Ya know, I keep getting stuck behind cars with a bumper sticker like so: male figure + female figure = marriage. I always want to honk loudly at those people and engage them in debate, but I suppose the highway is not the best place to do so.
I told Mr. Opera I wanted a bumper sticker with 2 female figures (or 2 male figures) and he said that would probably be a good way to get my car vandalized.
quote:I told Mr. Opera I wanted a bumper sticker with 2 female figures (or 2 male figures) and he said that would probably be a good way to get my car vandalized.
Probably. I've seen two cars with male figure + female figure = marriage bumper stickers vandalized, so the reverse being true wouldn't surprise me at all.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Are we getting mad at people who hold a particular viewpoint, or are we getting mad at people who put bumper stickers on their car?
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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I love living in Dallas. I see the bathroom sticker on little suburus and pro-gay-marriage stickers on huge Ford trucks.
Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jan 2005
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