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We really don't need to be egged on. We'll continue to pump em out.
I had a long list of in poor taste puns but my dog, Nick, ruined that. Yeah, the list fell on the floor and I didn't grab it ForNickate it. I did threaten to sic the dog police on him. I believe I said "Cop u later Nick." Then the silly dog tried to act like he hadn't done anything wrong. Looked sorta coy to us.
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I'm taking lessons to improve my golf score. They show up on my credit card statement as "par tuition."
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Bob, be careful when you are playing golf and trying not to conceive a child. I have heard that it is rough on the condoms, and might even put a hole in one.
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Elizabeth and Bob, I see you share my addiction to spew in the morning. What is this morning sickness that makes us post so early?
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WHat I like about this thread is that there's a firm basis to all the puns. You might even say they're ultra-sound.
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I remember my father's speech to me concerning pre-marital sex. He referred to it as "horsing around" and assured me that it could lead to "de-livery". For the longest time I had images of horse stables and weird feudal costumes.
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I hope I'm not knockin' up the wrong tree with this statement, but some of these posts have been quite amniotic.
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I started getting tired of reading this thread and dilated the pizza place for some lunch. I wish they still had thirty minute delivery, but I won't be-labor the point.
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I had an English teacher look at this thread. She said the contractions weren't very far apart.
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Nope, she wasn't the class clone. The kids made fun of her because she couldn't drink her milk; seems she was lactate intollerant.
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I had a friend who was always trying to get people to fight him. He'd say some of the most terrible things, he'd throw stuff. Anything to get someone angry. Until one day he squirted a girl with a foutain pen. She pummeled him nearly to death and kept yelling "That's INK! You baiter!"
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If an impoverished woman of the lower class writes a poem to the other females of this working group, is she creating an ode to her fallo pians?
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Shut 'de door, intercourse you was born in a barnacle!
ConDommit! This thread is cramping my style.
The ship is heaving, and I'm out of berth control. And now there's a Panama canal on the bottom down below. We're not sure if it's a Grrr or a Boyl. Some vaccination this is....
Are we going by land or by sea section? Arrghh! Aarghh! Aargh!
Whar's those little treasures? X marks the spot!
Th'incubated the hook right? I'm ready or the catch of the day...
Aargh! Just keel me now and get it overwith.
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My investment counselor does a lot of research. The other day she told me to switch my investments in infant formula to a company that makes nursing bras and breast pumps.
Those companies have been doing well, so I wanted to know her reasoning.
She pulled out her data. Over the past few years, the percentage of mothers choosing to breastfeed their babies has gone steadily up.
She pointed to the latest birth data:
"See?" she said, pointing to the birthrate/breastfeeding data. "It's a sure thing. There's a suckler born every minute!"
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Hooter thought it? This thread ties in so well with the perpetually immature clique I belong to. I can be a silly boob and feel right at home. I expect some other 40 something poster to keep up with me, sorta tit for tat if you please.
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A foolish friend of mine with very loose morals told me that he has had multiple sex partners and taken no precautions. Yet he's confident he'll not get any sexually-transmitted diseases. He relies on the power of positive thinking to protect him.
It doesn't sound venerealistic to me.
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He'd better hope that impulse is soon Gonorrhea regret it for the rest of his life. Someone needs to clap him upside the head and rubber his nose in the dirty reality of std's
We need to make sure our friends understand that we don't condom such behaviour.
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In our lives, we should have a good foundation for helping others, whether the support comes from a boy or a girdle.
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There was a group of Spanish milkmen, who watched a fun American movie, and wanted to make their own. They called it "La Leche League of Extraordinary Gentlemen."
[ June 13, 2004, 12:58 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
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I've had to learn over the years to curb my sarcasm. At one time I had an almost fetal smart mouth. The bullys didn't find the same humor in my jibes as I did. Once I saw the light, my newborn sense of discretion saved my life once or twice.
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Punwit, I think it is a bit premature to make that assumption. You remember Sally. A sarcastic woman, In Cube 8, hurt her feelings and she quit.
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I said, "I wanted to eat 'her peas'". And she said, "You have a big 'belly but on' second thought, here you go". Ahh, if she said "'follow peon'", then I'd follow her anywhere.
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Womb do you think you are? It's like my mother always said to me: "O.B. yourself!" The other thing she used to do is order me around at the family pharmacy. People would come in for their daily dose of medicine and she'll yell at me in back "Son! A gram!" I would get angry and point out how demeaning this was, and she'd accuse me of just latching on and never letting go! I guess she had a point. She also used to say that when life knocked you up, you just have to put yourself up by your bootstraps and get in those stirrups again.
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When my grandpa was too lazy to get up and get his glasses, my grandmother yelled: "Here are your Specs, You Lump!"
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I thought this thread was dying, but it appears to have been revived. Cord be because everyone likes a good discussion on reproduction!
We went to the store the other day and had a hard time finding any pants marked correctly. I located an employee and asked him "Sir, come size these."
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My wife is one strange gal. She is the one always recieving flowers and yet she insists I am the one that needs a vase ectomy.
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