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*laugh* Actually, I totally do! And since one of my big toes got hurt in the ah, altercation, I particularly do today.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Go get the lock. And make it a deadbolt, because if I were her after this I would slip a normal lock with a credit card just to show you you didn't "win" and I could stil use the computer if I wanted to.
Um, not that I'm admitted to being that petty in regards to my siblings or anything.
Oh, and get the shoes, too. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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We had a solid colored shower curtain. My sister had a propensity not to lock the bathroom door. We had lots of big cups in which to put cold water.
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*sigh* I'm fairly certain she has no idea how to open a lock with a credit card. And I don't want to have to drill holes in the door. But I'll think about it.
Another time, I got the duty to wrap my sister's christmas gifts. My sister has an uncanny "shake" knack where just from a shake, she can figure out what the gift is.
I hated that.
So I borrowed all my mothers random tins and separated and shoved my sister's gifts in those.
Then duct taped them.
And then wrapped them.
My sister went to test them. Ran out to confront me. I told her what I'd done.
My mother was right there. She laughed and left the room. My sister them promptly flipped me off and stormed out. Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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My brother had the habit of unwrapping and then rewrapping presents, the little sneak.
So, on Christmas Eve after he had looked and snuck off to bed, I unwrapped most carefully the presents, removed the gifts, and rewrapped the empty boxes.
(I wonder if this is why he dislikes me . . . )
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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I should be feeling less stressed and less crowded.
My sister had her surgery last Thursday, and has a ticket to leave on the 14th. Looks like she will even be recovered enough to do so. Moreover, she has been working very hard at being both human and helpful. (I need to tell her again that I appreciate that.)
And my brother, SIL, and niece have moved into their apartment . . . BUT, SIL and niece keep coming over here for large chunks of the day.
Why is this a problem? Niece is 2.5, and is often allowed to wander unsupervised -- not for long, but it doesn't TAKE long, for her to:
get into my son's brand new toy, and scatter the pieces everywhere, including where I stepped on some
dump out another toy that I seem to end up picking up everytime they have been here
have tantrums, frequently (now, she's 2.5, so this is normal, but -- and I feel very selfish for saying this -- I cannot deal with someone else's kid's screaming now)
take food that is sitting out on the table for my kids
etc.
I got upset quite on Thursday, when I got home from a VERY long day (two wisdom teeth extracted, among other fun things) to discover that the house that had been all picked up when I was there at noon now had toys scattered all over (some of which I stepped on) and dishes and garbage (not much, but annoying nonetheless) on the had-been-clean kitchen counter. I also thought that my son's brand new toy had had pieces broken (turns out they were not). I asked my mom to request that my SIL not be here with the niece without someone else here. (Which got my brother all worked up, but such is life.) So today, I got home to discover that she and my sister were letting the niece run loose, where she had gotten into my son's leftovers (which he had been planning to eat later), and then was sitting in the middle of the kitchen screaming.
*cry* Look, I have HAD a 2.5-year-old, and wanted adult company. And I get that we have more-convenient laundry machines (that don't need quarters) here. But I cannot TAKE this anymore -- and I am sick of being made to feel like a b**** when I object.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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So I went downstairs, to have supper, and specifically tried to say something to my sister . . . who had hysterics at me, because I got my niece upset before. Apparently, she is convinced I don't like her. Well, I'm none too happy with the fact that she's being allowed to run loose in houses that are not hers (it's absolutely reasonable, in her own home, but not here, where there are other people's things everywhere, especially since my son is currently sleeping in the living-room, so as not to have to deal with stairs), but I happen to like the kid.
So now I'm supposed to feel guilty (I do a bit, but mostly I'm angry at being put in this position) about objecting to feeling repeatedly invaded in what is currently my home. My SIL could go home after this afternoon -- I am home!
I hate this. I really, really, really hate this. And I'm STILL note done with my grades for the past trimester -- although I am getting close.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Many hugs. You have so many stresses all at the same time right now! I for one don't blame you for being annoyed with your sister. Frankly, I'm not surprised she doesn't understand why - parents who don't control their children usually don't understand why others would have complaints about their lack of parenting. Sorry I don't have any solutions here, but I'm a sympathetic ear if you need one.
I'm lucky at the moment - my brother and sister are too young to cause any major problems and Tony's brother, sister and brother-in-law are all overseas.
We still manage to get inter-continental dramas, but I'm sure they would be worse if we were all in the same country - let alone house!
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Won't you be glad to get your own place, where no one else has a key and can't come in unless you let them in?
However, in the spirit of the thread, you're right, it could be worse. You could live in my house. What a nightmare. It's actually so bad, I told my husband he could send a tape into Extreme Home Makeover.
Posts: 9871 | Registered: Aug 2001
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You've never seen Extreme Home Makeover?!? Oh my gosh. It's the most pathetically sappy show I've ever seen. A sob fest on a weekly basis. They take some poor pathetic family who has some extrodianary circumstances (Like a guy and his wife and 4 kids who adopted his 5 brothers and sisters afer his parents died, or the family who bought a fixer upper house, got started and their daughter was diagnosed with cancer and all their time and money went to keeping her alive and the house is falling down, or the woman who adopted two kids, finally saved up enough money to renovate her house so she didn't have to sleep on the couch anymore (after 12 years) and the contracter took her money, gutted her house and disappeared.) They end up leveling most of the houses, and rebuilding them with huge rooms and the most outrageous appliances, pools, plasma TVs, computers, I mean, they must spend around a half million bucks to redo these homes in a week.
Posts: 9871 | Registered: Aug 2001
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(((((rivka))))) Haven't the child's parents heard of a little thing called discipline? As a child, I was taught to repect other people's belongings.
You have a right to expect her parents to keep an eye on her. I don't think you're even close to being a b****.
Posts: 4569 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Sounds like I'd like it though - I'm a sucker for the sappy "we'll help you out" tear jerker renovation shows. Here they tend to be lower key though - people get a new backyard. Or a couple of rooms renovated.
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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*sigh* She's their only child, and their ideas about discipline are very different from mine. It's not that she doesn't get in trouble for these things -- she does. It's that they seem to expect a 2.5 year old to predict consequences to a degree that is unrealistic, IMO. Instead of staying with her (which I know full well is exhausting, but it's part of parenting a small child!), they expect her to remember she can't touch stuff.
And if she doesn't, they chide her, but then also say things like, "well, she's only 2.5, what do you expect?"
I don't think I did any better when I had my first, necessarily. But that doesn't mean I want to deal with their parenting choices all the time, either. They may parent as they wish -- in their own home, where it doesn't keep affecting me.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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That is annoying. One of my pet peeves is the father who always has his 1.5 year old daughter at church and never watches her. She does things that are age appropriate but not acceptable (like taking toys out of other kids' hands, poking babies, etc.), and even dangerous (like repeatedly going straight for the lamp cord and socket in the foyer). I always seem to be the one who catches her and has to try to stop her before a situation develops. (Her mother is very ill and doesn't come to church.) Luckily for everyone else (and the child herself), I don't have a problem taking things away, grabbing her, or doing whatever is necessary to keep her and others safe, then picking her up and taking her (screaming, of course) to her father, but when I explain, he gets huffy with me... Why can't you just watch your child, dude? Then this wouldn't happen!!!Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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You're a strong woman with clear boundaries, m'dear - and as I know from personal experience, nothing infuriates people without boundaries more than people with boundaries . . .
Hang in there - keep your sense of humor handy, and remember - you probably have at least two dozen temporary abodes scattered throughout the entire world of Hatrackeria . . . so, if nothing else, you can at least envision living there and either a) counting your blessings or b) having dreams of living in la-la land . . . Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Have you looked into government assisted housing? I don't know how it is where you live, but my step sister's place in Ohio is nice. She's a single mom so she gets a big discount on the rent, but it's still a decent place.
Posts: 2283 | Registered: Dec 2003
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I know what it feels like to have people think you're a witch because you expect people to make their children behave reasonably in public (or in your home).
Honestly, I'd probably take the Southern approach and ask my SIL repeatedly if the baby is okay - until she got the message and kept an eye on the baby. I've had good results with that and it keeps the adults in the situation from getting hostile.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Also, if children are running around wild in a restaurant or store, stop them and ask them loudly if they're lost. Odds are their parents will hear you and come get them.
I know it's passive-aggressive, but parents have a hard time accepting any kind of parenting criticism or advice. This way, you can prevent the child from being careless and/or destructive, without drawing the parents' wrath.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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quote: You're a strong woman with clear boundaries, m'dear - and as I know from personal experience, nothing infuriates people without boundaries more than people with boundaries . . .
*lightbulb moment* Ah! Ok, framing it that way helps a lot.
quote: Hang in there - keep your sense of humor handy, and remember - you probably have at least two dozen temporary abodes scattered throughout the entire world of Hatrackeria . . . so, if nothing else, you can at least envision living there and either a) counting your blessings or b) having dreams of living in la-la land . . .
Cooool!
Dags, the things that get broken, etc. are mostly inexpensive -- they're significant because they are a needed piece of a kit, or just because they belong to one of my kids. Besides, I'm not sure how my SIL and brother feel about me right now, but that would almost certainly make things ugly.
quote: Have you looked into government assisted housing? I don't know how it is where you live, but my step sister's place in Ohio is nice. She's a single mom so she gets a big discount on the rent, but it's still a decent place.
Thanks for the suggestion, AR. I have a decent job -- the idea of us living here this year is to help me save up some money and because as of mid-January, my parents will be out of town. So moving out -- even if I did qualify for government assistance -- is not really an option.
Mrs.M, I tried similar tactics, when they were still living here. It worked for about 15 minutes at a time . . . maximum.
Thanks for all the advice and suggestions. Today my sister babysat my niece -- NOT here. So at least I seem to be sort of getting through.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Dags, the things that get broken, etc. are mostly inexpensive -- they're significant because they are a needed piece of a kit, or just because they belong to one of my kids. Besides, I'm not sure how my SIL and brother feel about me right now, but that would almost certainly make things ugly.
I knew it wasn't practical. But imagining it in your head might help. Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I was just treasure hunting and came upon this thread. Unsupervised toddlers in other peoples houses are at greater risk for poisoning accidents/death, so it is possible to bring that up. My niece at my mother's house would run into things like flux paste and super glue. I think that happened on Thanksgiving and Christmas of the same year.
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I was surprised to see this bumped to the top. But since it has been, a brief update:
My parents left a week ago. The house is much quieter and emptier . . . and I have to do all the cooking and shopping. So it's a mixed bag. But mostly it's going well. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Moreover, she has been working very hard at being both human and helpful. (I need to tell her again that I appreciate that.)![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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So I went downstairs, to have supper, and specifically tried to say something to my sister . . . who had hysterics at me, because I got my niece upset before. Apparently, she is convinced I don't like her. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
