posted
I personally come down in solid agreement with Tom, but I have seen people take the other option, of working their butts off at community colleges and make it work, so to be fair I felt I had to present both options above.
posted
I think I should just point back to my first post about fear of failure. So long as you don't try you can never fail and it's the easiest way to keep that high opinion of yourself. It's easy to fall back on the "I didn't try so it doesn't count" excuse. Witness the bike trip, the not applying to schools until the last minute, now possibly delaying school. It's an easy path to walk and certainly helps keep your ego high. Not particularly satisfying though.
But do what you have to do. And try not to let this Hatrack Piledriver thread get you down.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Well not wanting to be left out, I have some advice to, but I'll stick to what I know and tell you about biking. I don't know if you've actually decided to not go on this trip or not (I don't have AIM on my computer yet, haven't installed it since I had to replace the HD so I don't really know what's going on), but if you're not 100% against going, remember this. For a touring bike it would be fun to have a $1200 bike, but when you have that much gear the difference between a $1200 bike a $200 bike become almost zilch. If it is just money stopping you, don't let it, you can get this stuff for a lot less than you were planning, and on a trip like this it wont cost you later on the road.
Of course the discussion seems to have moved on to more abstract matters so perhaps I'm just being an anachronism in this thread.
Look, guys, I'm really flattered you're taking this personal a stake in my life. But damn -- how many of you have I met? How many of you do I confide in? You're making good suggestions, but I'm not entirely sure if you're making them to me or to the man you imagine I am.
I'll start with Porce.
quote:no one has the barest understanding of your financial and social situations right now?
and you just bought an ipod?
you're right. i have no idea what it's like to have money, especially to blow on toys.
Yeah, hey, welcome to the club. I blew my savings on toys -- it's damn stupid, but it's not as though I simper away daddy's money on poodles and BMWs.
quote:it's okay to be reasonable and decide that now is not the best time for you to take a cross country bike trip, but to strut around cocksure and then tell people they have no idea what your life is like is, well, as kama said, very telling of your age. arrogance and innuendo swapped with defensive "you don't know me! you're not my real dad!" exclamations are usually a trademark of youth. especially impulsive, male youth.
Actual quote:
"Worse comes to worst, I'll mount the tiny clown bike with jacked up seat and handlebars, and manage my way across the country on that damn thing. Or I'll get a job on the docks this summer and tour the next. I'm easily the least happy person about the reality of my life right now, all the more so for my keen awareness of my responsibility for its problems -- but I really don't need to get ridden for this by every Hatracker who lacks the barest understanding of my financial and social situations. I'm flattered by AJ's passion and Tom's dry humor, but flattery goes only so far.
So, please. Believe me when I say I'm trying to get off the ground. And leave be."
Yeah. Porce, I'm not making the "you don't know me! I'm special! I have special needs!" defense -- truth be told, you don't know me, nor how much money I have available, nor even why I'm doing this trip. Do you? I always suspected someone was watching me, but I thought they were limited to the spycam in the shower...
AJ:
quote:Eddie I wouldn't yell at you if I didn't like you. Maybe delaying school for a year will help you gain a bit of perspective. But I don't see it, I see you stagnating where you are at which is a crime because you have so much potential.
You aren't acting with a lot of maturity or even seem to trying to see the larger picture at this point. Maybe, going on the bike ride would help you develop the perspective you need you would develop more Perserverance and Determination if you didn't quit after day 3 or 4. I don't know.
Maybe being stuck at a boring and tedious job til the end of summer or for a year would be better for your character. You would be putting Duty before selfishness and that is always character improving.
Do you ever actually look at things from the perspective of Duty? Yes it may be an old dusty character trait, but the fact is most people in the world actually do live by it even if some do flagrantly violate the strongest of bonds. You've seen both, I know.
Whoa, dude, slow down. As I understand them, your points are that a) I'm selfish, b) I shirk duty, and c) I generally dismiss duty as an "old dusty character trait."
Yeah.
AJ, my merit scholarships roll over if I defer admission -- a decision I've been anxiously reconsidering for some time now, believe me. It's too late for me to apply for need-based financial aid; and in any case, I'll be paying for most of college myself. The scholarships I have now cover virtually all of tuition, and I can handle most of the living expenses with a decent job (outside of work-study).
That said, yeesh. Why does this thread exist at all?
I understand that you like me, girl, though I've no idea why -- there's no reason for you to take such a personal stake in my trip or my life, and certainly no reason to become furious if either leaves your set boundaries of what you find acceptable. I like you, dude, but I'm not about to go into screaming fits if you break up with Steve or choose buy an American car over a Japanese one -- you aren't mine to control, and I've no right or reason to believe so.
Tom:
quote:Oh, Eddie, are you REALLY considering delaying school?
Don't do it, man; I'm speaking here as someone who turned his short vacation from school into a complete failure to ever finish his degree.
You are eligible now for more scholarships than you will ever be. Period. You're going to a reasonably-priced school. And right now, interest payments are so low that you could probably even afford to take $12k/year in loans and expect to be able to pay it back.
You need to go now, or you will risk being paralyzed by idleness.
That's probably sound advice. But fact is, I currently have pretty damn impressive scholarships -- certainly more than I deserve, and I'm unlikely to get fatter scholarships in the future. Rolling them over a year can't hurt.
As far as succumbing to idleness, yeah, I believe it. But there seem to be plenty of reasons not to go to college immediately -- my transcript shows just how unprepared I was for high school. I prefer to go out and live a little before returning to study, if only to appreciate college and not understand it as a burden to maintain. Also, I'm not entirely confident that I won't burn out if I press too hard, too fast -- a friend of mine, brilliant guy, dropped out of Columbia his first year because, in his own words, he knew he wasn't ready for the place and went anyway for fear of his scholarships.
The least I owe this guy is to learn from him. If I go, will I burn out? Will I get caught up with women and the various intrigues of NYC? Hell, in terms of my own fallibilities, am I even ready for a place like New York? I'm no smooth-talker, and lately I've been feeling more and more the need to escape and indulge wanderlust for a while -- and I'm not anxious to suppress that while trying to study calculus in some library.
But more importantly than any of those -- will I ever have the chance to do this again? I can't well take off a year in the middle of college -- not without abandoning all the friends I'd have made by that point. I can't take it off after college for the same reason, plus employers will be distrustful of the lost year on my resume, plus, hell, what about the possibility of grad school? I'm so damnably, dangerously close to taking on responsibilities I've no interest in knowing -- why not escape them while I've still got time left to do so?
Yeah, it's damn foolish. But which would make better memories when I'm an old feeble man incapable of even imagining trying a trip like this bike trip?
CyberDan:
quote:I think I should just point back to my first post about fear of failure. So long as you don't try you can never fail and it's the easiest way to keep that high opinion of yourself. It's easy to fall back on the "I didn't try so it doesn't count" excuse. Witness the bike trip, the not applying to schools until the last minute, now possibly delaying school. It's an easy path to walk and certainly helps keep your ego high. Not particularly satisfying though.
But do what you have to do. And try not to let this Hatrack Piledriver thread get you down.
Heh. And someone else has that cable channel which features close-ups of my soul.
It's possible you're right, dude. But I wouldn't unload on me for the sake of spreading your bad mood.
Now, christ, have I dealt with the greater issues of the day? My turn.
Guys, really, I AM flattered. But jesus, I don't give my own life this kind of attention -- sleep easier by knowing you have no responsibility to, either. AJ's more or less convinced me not to do the trip -- when I told her how I blew my money and had dedicated the rest to future hotels, and now lived dependent on charity to help me equip a bike, she called me a spoiled brat. And damn if she's not right. I don't like being dependent on other people, least of all those who've struggled to support me for decades -- and for that reason, while I haven't yet officially decided to postpone the trip, I feel more and more that it can't be done without compromising my pride and autonomy, sacred idols not to be profaned by other people's kindness. If I don't do this, I'll find a job this summer and work off enough money to support my trip myself.
Hell, I'm even having misgivings about deferring admission. All that keeps me from going is the heavy knowledge that if I go now, I'll fail there as I failed here, and I'll have given up an opportunity to indulge wanderlust and youth. In this sense, at least, CyberDan's right -- I defer college for fear of failure, or rather, for fear that my study habits will carry over to the next, far more important leg of my education.
I have some thinking to do. And as sweet the pain is from the blows to my fork in this thread, somehow I can't help but imagine I'd be better off if I could try to gaze through the water without my dripping blood obscuring my view.
Thanks for your counsel. Believe me, it's being taken into consideration. Now, drop it -- I'm honestly not worth your time or effort.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote: But more importantly than any of those -- will I ever have the chance to do this again? I can't well take off a year in the middle of college -- not without abandoning all the friends I'd have made by that point. I can't take it off after college for the same reason, plus employers will be distrustful of the lost year on my resume, plus, hell, what about the possibility of grad school?
Not True
quote: Now, drop it -- I'm honestly not worth your time or effort.
posted
It's your decision, but jeez, you most certainly CAN take off a year or so in the middle of college - ESPECIALLY if you have plans for that year. Your friends will be okay - the real ones will stick around, and the crowd will survive without you and you without it. It sucks, but that friend loss will happen five thousand times in your life.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Because I thought you had integrity and cared about the meaning of your words. You write with passion like you do care, but otherwise you really are all bluff and braggadocio, and your words are worthless.
It isn't what you SAY and you can holler as loud as you want, it is how you live your life that matters. You didn't have to announce this trip nearly a YEAR ago. Look at the posts on this thread. You have a reputation and track record as a flake. Tom Davidson I don't think ever thought you would do it in the first place. In hindsight he was wiser than I. I actually thought you would.
Do you actually want a reputation as a flake, even on an crazy internet forum like Hatrack?
I don't think deep down that's what you really want. I think you do care about what people think about you, and care so bad it hurts.
posted
I guess its stupid of me. I want to see that you are capable of rising above, of meeting a challenge. I wanted to see you fight me, I didn't want to see you quit. I wanted you to defy me and prove to me that you weren't a spoiled brat and still go on the trip. Instead you are using me as an excuse to quit, which is I guess good if you are that weak.
I think given the money you have in hand that is Yours you could still buy a decent bike, for around $200-$300, spend another $100 on supplies and still have money left over for emergencies and food. It could be done. You don't actually want to put the time or effort into doing it.
This is what saddens me. I had hoped you'd rise above adversity to come out on top.
It's just something that I've been thinking for a while. Certainly it's the impression I get. Could be wildly off base, could be me taking my frustrations out on you, who knows? But what better place to toss it out than a thread where everyone else was already judging you? You know how much I like to fit in!
But if (when ) you realize I'm right I expect an E-mailing telling me as much. And a shrubbery. And maybe a song detailing my greatness. Actually, that song would be nice regardless fo whether I'm right or not.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote: Yeah, hey, welcome to the club. I blew my savings on toys -- it's damn stupid, but it's not as though I simper away daddy's money on poodles and BMWs.
and what at all does that have to do with me? was that your comparison of choice because i'm a white girl?
you're an ass. you dish all day long but you can't even handle a spoonful of your own game.
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yeah, hey, welcome to the club. I blew my savings on toys -- it's damn stupid, but it's not as though I simper away daddy's money on poodles and BMWs.
posted
I say go...because why not? You can still go to college and Hatrack people want to see you. Or at least cheer you on. I don't think going on this trip will be shirking duty. Of course I don't know every detail.
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
And AJ, christ, leave be. What possible track record could I have of being a flake, aside from an entire, what, two Shindas I said I'd attend then missed? What bluff and braggadocio are you talking about -- good god, dude, I'm having trouble finding and financing a bike, nothing more, nothing less.
You're taking my hesitation and doubt far too personally, AJ. I like you, and we're friends, but I'm not your pet, nor your idol -- as I told you yesterday, I'll stumble through this in my own time in my own way on my own terms, and while I sympathize with your frustration, my life isn't yours to frustrate over. I haven't entrusted my secrets nor my plans to your confidence, let alone my future. I can't possibly put it any clearer than that. I like you, and I will continue being your friend as I long have, but insulting me won't break me to your will, as you seem to have believed for some time now.
The money I have isn't enough, not even for food, after I buy all the crap I'd need. As it stands now, I'd need to borrow money or depend on charity -- one I can't afford, and the other I can't tolerate. I may yet buy a bicycle, or just set out on a newly tricked-out bike of my own, but I'm sure as hell not going to be bullied into it because you feel like throwing a fit will motivate me into obeying you. Please, dude. Think over what you've said and consider if you'd have any respect for me at all if I broke to such commands.
Jesus, this is getting complicated. Look, guy, I'll do what I can with what resources I have -- before this thread, I had every intention of leaving within two weeks after intensive training and preparation. Now I'm not convinced it's worth the sacrifice. I'll do some thinking and try to get back in the mindset I had before being commanded about, but I'd appreciate it if you don't try to deter me from working things through in my own time.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
[EDIT: supposed to come right after AJ's post]
Sweetness ... except that with my tiny work screen that url is too big for the screen and the formatting is getting screwd up... mind fixing that AJ?
Hybrid is defaintly the way to go for cheap touring bikes. They're tough and decently comfortable, as well as most of them have a really low gear, which is ideal. I would also suggest checking out any cruisers they have there, they might be too expensive but they also make for good touring bikes, worth looking into anyways. Ohh, and I'm convinced you can get hybrids for less than that link, often times the online price for bikes is well above the store price (for whatever werid reason).
posted
AJ, are those mtn/street bike combos? My bike got stolen a while back, and while I have a great mtn bike, I HATE riding on pavement with it - it's so slow and crouchy...
Not that I have money for this at the moment.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
It'll probably have to wait, Hobbes, until we get to the bottom of who is and who isn't an ass around here. I'd have a seat if I were you.
[Edit--well, that's what I get from pausing in writing my post to answer my phone and help out a user. My post is now so completely misplaced that I doubt it even makes much sense. Take my word for it, it was screamingly funny in the proper context ]
posted
And heh. Porce, you can't "ass" right back at me -- I was assing right back at you.
Hobbes, dude, your advice has been invaluable and damn near overwhelming. Thanks for everything -- if you don't mind a bit more, I'll ask for counsel as soon as I decide which bike I'll set out on.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Kat, a hybrid is a mountain/road bike combo. I like to joke that it combines the worst elements of both, but in reality they're cheap bikes, and they're pretty reliable. If you're looking for a short commuting bike (like 3 miles each way or something) hybrid is actually ideal. They can go off road (though you shouldn't take them on anything besides very nicley kept dirt trails, they aren't meant for rough stuff, though most could handle it if you were, for some werid reason, in dire need of tacking a really bumpy trail), and they can do street riding faster than a mountain bike (since much less energy is lost to the shocks you need on your mountain bike). They're heavy, but that shouldn't matter for touring (in fact it's a plus since you'll have a sturdy frame for carrying stuff) nor for the shorter commutes.
posted
Lalo, you really can dish it out and not take it. I'm not commanding you to do jack.
Let me remind you of this thread which happened quite recently.
quote: Also, as I said in the last post (and what probably annoyed Rivka), grow a spine. You should have divorced her the instant you knew, for certain, that she was cheating on you and the relationship was unrepairable. That you haven't only contributes to her understanding of you as a weak man to be taken advantage of. End the furious complaining and take action -- otherwise, you'll never win her respect, nor anyone else's. I realize this is tough, man, and I'm more than understanding of your need for counsel and sympathy, but there's only so far you can stretch the sympathy period without taking any actual action.
How DARE you give advice like that, on a topic you know jack about when your own crap isn't together?
Even though it isn't a relationship you clearly can't take your own advice.
posted
Well I meant the bike riding advice, it's been my policy so far to not touch any other aspect of this thread with three 12 meter poles and a clown suit...
posted
Whoa, AJ, your advice has been sound, too, and I've told you as much several times -- I expressed gratitude to Hobbes now only because his advice, while exceptional, has gone largely unthanked.
I'm grateful for your counsel, and flattered by your interest, but you take it too far. Don't worry about me. It tends to be an exercise in futility, anyway.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I can just about garuntee that any price you find on a bike manufactures web page will be well above what you pay at the store. If you get a hybrid, I suggest not bothering with schocks, they cost mroe and they're much slower. The Schwin hybrids AJ is linking are, like most hybrids, incredibly sturdy. You can take wahtever you want, lash it to the bike, throw the whole thing off a cliff and expect to still be able to ride the thing (assuming your stuff made it OK ). Make sure there's a very low gear on them, most hybrids have a kind of 'super-low', but that's not a garuntee, test ride it up a hill and put it in lowest. You should be able to go up sitting down without too much exertion in that gear (don't worry about speed).
posted
Yeah my first bike I ever rode with training wheels was a little red schwinn. My brothers and I thrashed that thing for years til we finally gave it away.
posted
Hobbes he didn't believe me when I told him that the MSRPs are always high, thank you for corroborating. But to find that out for himself it requires him going to a bike store.
He also thinks bike salesmen are out to screw him over when I have told him repeatedly they are simply biking geeks working to make a living doing what they love and probably not making much of a profit at it. The complete opposite of used car salesmen. But to find that out for himself he has to go to a bike store
posted
Cousin Hobbes tested and patened litmus test for determining if you bike salesman is out to rip you off: ask him/her about their recent biking escepades. If they mention rides that they've taken in the last couple of months, and those rides sound ver difficult, you've got yourself a good salesman. If they say they haven't gotten a chance to ride much latley go somewhere else.
Of course this only works in the summer but not the point. Most salesman really are bikebums, who work in the store to support their life-encompassing hobby of biking. They tend to not care as much about getting your money as promoting their favorite bike (which you also have to watch out for, what works for them may not work for you, but hey, at least you know it works) and they also tend to be pretty knolwedgable, having done it themselves. Occassionaly you will get someone in it for the money (why they choose bike stores is beyond me but none the less), but they're easy to recognize, heck, just look for someone who doesn't look like a biker and you'll have found your culprit.
posted
To prove my point Lalo, when I was up in Washington in close to the best shape of my life as far as physical attractiveness goes, I was riding my Dad's Klein road bikes that was one of the first aluminum racing bikes to ever be built. It had all vintage Campagnolo components on it. Well I ate it on a turn cause of some gravel, and tweaked stuff on the handlebars. Since I didn't bring a bunch of tools with me other than to change a tire on my internship, I had to go to a bike shop.
There I was, a 19 year old blue-eyed blonde, in relatively attractive condition. Why did I end up with all the guys in the shop clustered around? They didn't even look at me. Not a single one even attempted to be personable, much less hit on me. They couldn't believe the bike!
*Sigh* it was an impressive bike. My brother actually raced it in a triathalon last year. Sadly it is no more, it got destroyed when Mom burned down the garage a month ago.
*nosgalgia* Have I mentioned that at least half of all my parents Christmas tree ornaments are bicycles? Or all the biking memoribillia that graces our walls. There is a mounted poster that was in my room for years showing a bunch of Campagnnolo vintage gear sets and how the sprockets went together. Taught me how to read plans long before engineering. There is one envelope from a cycling magazine that was for billing or something, addressed to my dad. However the stamp was a bicycle stamp, that just happened to be stamped on the first day of issue. He's got that framed too.
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