quote:Originally posted by The Rabbit: Are you saying that if a Chinese person is doing something that is highly socially unacceptable, they'd freely admit it in public?
No. I'm assuming that despite your antipathy toward Chinese culture, you didn't literally ask him a "Do you beat your wife?" question. More likely you asked a, "if you were in that situation, would you?" type question (i.e. there but for the grace of god). In that case, you bet.
You're basically assuming two things. First, that people from different cultures admit to things at roughly the same rate. Second, that what people say is an accurate representation of what people would actually do. Let me put it in Western terms. If that were the case, in the other thread, anti-gay Republicans would be the straightest of males. Instead, their ranks are probably more gay than a gay pride parade.
Posts: 7593 | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Here we go, something data-based as well. Different study, Chinese specifically, and with a plurality of PRC immigrants. Lower rates of domestic violence.
quote:Prevalence rates of physical violence from the 1985 National Family Violence Survey are commonly cited because it is one of the few national surveys on family violence that has been implemented in the United States (Straus & Gelles, 1986).
...
The survey also found that 30% experienced a violent event over the course of their relationship. These rates are higher than those indicated by Chinese Americans in this sample. Less than 10% (6.8%) and only 18% of Chinese Americans disclosed experiencing some form of physical aggression by a spouse/ partner in the last 12 months and during the course of their lifetime, respectively.
One explanation for the lower rates is that there may be less domestic violence in the Chinese American community. Hall and Barongan (1997) noted that there appear to be lower rates of sexual aggression in Asian- American groups, and they attributed this to the collectivistic orientation of the Asian culture. In collectivistic cultures, individual goals are relegated to the group, social support is high, and shame is used as a deterrent to deviant behavior (Hall & Barongan, 1997).
quote:Originally posted by The Rabbit: His statements were pretty consistent with what I have read about more traditional attitudes toward women in China.
As opposed to:
quote:Contrary to the feminist literature on domestic violence, gender role beliefs was not related to physical intimate violence. Acculturation, however, significantly predicted severe physical violence experienced during respondents' lifetime.
In other words, domestic violence increases while assimilating to become more like the surrounding population, not less.
Posts: 7593 | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:No. I'm assuming that despite your antipathy toward Chinese culture, you didn't literally ask him a "Do you beat your wife?" question. More likely you asked a, "if you were in that situation, would you?" type question (i.e. there but for the grace of god). In that case, you bet.
I didn't ask him anything at all and there wasn't any discussion of wife beating. These women left their husband, filed for divorce and then were stalked, threatened with death, slandered, and harassed in ways I would never even have imagined. When I shared my concern over thesetwo friends with my colleague, this man's response was to laugh and say "Oh that's what most Chinese men would do. If my wife left me, I'd threaten to kill her too." That, to the best of my recollection, is exactly what happened. The implication was that a woman didn't have the right to leave her husband and if she tried, she should be punished for it.
I'm not assuming anything. Here. Just reporting my experience. I'm not making any assumptions about whether or not these men would really have killed their ex-wives given the opportunity. I know only that the women were legitimately terrified, to the extent that one of them sought my help to go into hiding for several months. Those are the facts. Assume what ever you want from them.
Based on my Chinese colleagues comments, I assumed these experiences were indicative of Chinese attitudes toward divorce. I've also read a number of things that support that conclusion.
[ May 20, 2010, 10:01 PM: Message edited by: The Rabbit ]
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by The Rabbit: ... "Oh that's what most Chinese men would do. If my wife left me, I'd threaten to kill her too." That, to the best of my recollection, is exactly what happened. The implication was that a woman didn't have the right to leave her husband and if she tried, she should be punished for it.
Actually, thats your interpretation.
The bare facts unless you left something out is that your colleague believes that the probability that a threat would occur in such a situation is high.
There is nothing in what you have quoted about "should" or about rights. Nor is there any statement that North American men would act any differently. Also, again, the above is just anecdotal, so I probably won't address it any further.
Let me emphasize, it is no tea party either way. However, the *actual data* suggest that the larger worry is contemporary North American culture, not traditional Chinese culture.
Posts: 7593 | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by kmbboots: To elaborate, there is no sin in saying, "I love you but monogamy is not something I can do; can we make some other arrangement?" There is sin in lying. As a society, though, we don't make that first option possible. We expect that love means monogamy and I am not at all sure that is true.
Changing rapidly though. I recently made it unabashedly public information that I was in an open relationship.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:His statements were pretty consistent with what I have read about more traditional attitudes toward women in China.
"Traditional" views towards women in China are the same in that respect as "traditional" views towards women everywhere. Including America.
Newsflash, women were oppressed and are oppressed by societies around the world. You act like oppression of women and treatment of women as property is a quaint 'exotic' custom or something. No.
But it is always easier to see these sorts of things in another culture than one's own.
Posts: 241 | Registered: Nov 2009
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
