Republican businessman Montgomery Burns today joined with Mayor Joe Quimby, D-Springfield, to support the Senate’s gazillion-dollar SCHIP bill.
“If the poor children can get a piece of the action, why can’t I?” explained Burns at a MoveOn.org rally in Capital City. “The little darlings are needy? Me, too. I need somebody to pay. Quimby here says he knows a bunch of low-income nobodies who are ripe for the picking. Excellent.”
“You need this?” wondered the mayor. “Well, why not. I’ve got needs, too. Why, I’ve got 27 paternity suits pending and to quote the Speaker, ‘suffer the little children.’ The Quimby Compound is overflowing with those little sufferers. Vote Quimby.”
Inexplicably, the mayor then leaned toward a comely MoveOn organizer and whispered in her ear, “Ah, if anyone asks, you’re my niece from out of town and you don’t get SCHIP.”
“But Uncle Joe, I am your niece from out of town, and I do get SCHIP.”
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The program is still going to exist and will have a higher level of funding than it does now. There's actually a very good chance that the overall level of funding will be very close to the level of funding in the vetoed bill.
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And with the vetoed plan, there's a little pink girl who got cropped out of the wave who will still be uninsured. Damn those heartless Democrats!
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