posted
Could someone please link a reputable study that shows that children of single-parent households tend to be more screwed up than children of two-parent households? See, my own anecdotal experience contradicts this idea, but I understand that that's not good science. I've always heard that two-parent households are better for people, but I've never actually seen it. So I'm looking for information on the topic.
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posted
Saxon, I don't have any links for you, but my anecdotal experience as a teacher is that single parents have a tough time due to very basic issues like finding good childcare while they are working, and trying to care for both themselves and a child without the extra support and reprieve of another adult. Raising children is not easy if you are part of a couple, where you can spell each other at times and support each other. It stands to reason that a parent without intimate daily support will have stresses that affect the way the family operates.
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Not all single parents are without support networks. Would a child growing up with being droppped off at grandma's every day be worse off than a child dropped off by mommy AND daddy at daycare every day?
While I can imagine a longitudinal multivariate study that could tease out the relative effects of the variables (number of adults in the household, median income, support network, access to quality daycare, presence of older siblings, and on and on), I don't believe such a study has been done.
I think it would be hugely expensive to do such a study and it would have to be so well done and take so many years of follow-up that it just seems unlikely to me.
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I know anecdote is not data. But if you looked at me and my bf, it is readily obvious which one is more "normal" than the other.
He is far more normal than me. Yet he grew up in a family that was blended with divorce and remarriages so much it is hard to keep track with step, half and adopted siblings.
I grew up in a two parent household where my mother stayed home and I never went to daycare or anything else. Yet it is obvious I'm the less well-adjusted, though I have worked very hard to blend in and not stand out like a sore thumb the instant I open my mouth.
posted
Well, I'm sure the government has some study out there somewhere, since they automatically label all children from single-parent homes (especially if lower income) as part of their "at-risk" program in schools.
I used to get offended, but finally just found it funny. But as a single parent (I have been single since my kids were ages 5, 3, and 1; now they are 18,16 and 14) I used to find it very offensive. My older sister made TONS of money, was married, had a beautiful house in a ritzy area -- and saw less of her kids than I did of mine. Her kids fell behind in school -- mine excelled.
I finally learned to not take the "at-risk" thing too personally. I realized we were an exception to the rule, as in all statistics -- it is a generalization. Probably on a broader scale, low income and single parent COULD mean they need more help (in school). It just wasn't true in my family, was all.
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In the kitchen I had an interesting thought. It's so much easier to just find some simple thing, whether it's gayness, single parents or being black that differs from the norm and blame it for all the problems in civilization. It's easier to stop young black men in their cars and yet a whole bunch of white men get away simply because of some statistic. I don't really care if prejudice is inborn or whatever, but this has to stop! The unknown isn't always a threat and by focusing almost exclusively on so-called alternative families and their problems they overlook the larger society. It's depressing to note that these sort of things exist even among Amish people.
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posted
Dag, thanks for the links. Several of them did look somewhat biased, but not all of them. I haven't had time to do more than skim them, but it's a start.
I was more hoping for actual studies, rather than just articles or summaries. It always helps me to be able to see the methods used so I can make up my mind how good the results are.
Now, if all of this stuff is true, if on average children of single-parent homes tend to be more screwed up than other kids, and this really does last into adulthood, I have to wonder why my own experience provides such a mismatch? Do I and the people I know just happen to be lucky enough to beat the odds?
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