quote:Andrew Koenig, better known as ‘Boner’ from Growing Pains (I know, a weird name to have to say for such a serious matter) has been missing since Feb. 14. He was last seen in Vancouver, BC near Stanley Park. Andrew’s father, Walter (Star Trek’s Chekov) posted a plea for help on his site, but the overwhelming response seems to have partly crashed it for now. The only thing we know is that he has been completely off the grid since the 16th, the same day Walter received a puzzling letter from him which was despondent in tone.
The reason I post it is because, as strange as it sounds, this is hitting me pretty hard. I don't know Andrew personally, but I've been listening to 'Never Not Funny' (the podcast he works on with his brother-in-law) for several years now. I've exchanged a few friendly emails with him. And while I am really nothing more than a fan, it feels like it's a friend of mine that has gone missing and not just 'some celebrity'.
I don't know if anyone on Hatrack is in the Vancouver area, but it can't hurt to spread the word. Here's hoping he's found, or comes back on his own, very soon.
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quote: On Feb. 16, Walter received a letter from his son Andrew, which caused his father to grow concerned about his whereabouts because of it's despondent tone. It was also discovered that Andrew sold or gave away a number of his possessions before flying to Canada; and he refused a job, saying he "wasn't going to work anymore."
Andrew had recently finished shooting a trailer for a feature film that he wanted to direct, and was in Canada visiting friends: first in Toronto and then in Vancouver. Andrew was very comfortable in Vancouver, having lived there for several years after he fell in love with the area while filming an episode of "21 Jump Street".
It is not believed that any specific incident prompted Andrew's disappearance. "I think it’s something that has been a part of his makeup for a long time. There’s no single trauma. There’s no episode. There’s nothing of that nature," says Walter, who added that drugs were not an issue.
Andrew was last seen at a bakery in the Stanley Park area of Vancouver, where he often took walks.
Andrew is white, 5'5" tall, 135 lbs., with long, brown shoulder-length hair and brown eyes
I do hope they find him as well.
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I imagine the crowd in Vancouver is a blessing and a curse at the moment. There are more people to look for him, and more crowds for him to hide in.
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No, he asked mph to tell him he's not the only one. He didn't say, "Don't tell me I'm the only one."
I thought Walter Koenig, his father, might be Chekhov from Star Trek, but he isn't. He just has the same name.
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According to wikipedia, and at least a couple of news posts I've read, his father is indeed that actor.
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quote:Originally posted by JonnyNotSoBravo: I thought Walter Koenig, his father, might be Chekhov from Star Trek, but he isn't. He just has the same name.
Andrew's father is, in fact, Chekhov from Star Trek. His sister Danielle is a stand-up and comedy writer. And while I don't know off the top of my head, I believe his mother was a relatively well-known character actress as well. They're a very talented family.
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Javert, strangely, I got a text yesterday from a friend in Chicago who is related to the guy (by marriage). She wanted me to use my 'influence' as a 'famous person' to spread the word to my friends in Vancouver. She was playing it very fast and loose with the words 'famous' and 'influence', no question.
But I did it anyway. Hopefully he surfaces safe and sound.
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I feel so bad for his family. I had at first just assumed he killed himself but as time dragged on without finding a body I had begun to hope he was still alive.
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I feel so bad, but I'm also sort of glad they found his body. Somehow I think it would have been worse if they had never found anything.
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quote:Originally posted by aeolusdallas: I feel so bad for his family. I had at first just assumed he killed himself but as time dragged on without finding a body I had begun to hope he was still alive.
quote:Originally posted by Javert: I feel so bad, but I'm also sort of glad they found his body. Somehow I think it would have been worse if they had never found anything.
Agree with both of you.
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I never knew him or even met him. I only met his father once and that was briefly at a social event. But this is really hitting me. I don't even know why really.
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I had no idea that this guy ever existed before now, but having had someone very important to me and my family commit suicide, I feel so sorry for these people, and their son.
It's completely true, what the family said - there is always someone somewhere who cares about you enough, always someone who would help you through anything if they knew what pain you were in. So sad.
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All I've learned to do from a lifetime of having friends who went through suicidal episodes is to reach out. Whenever friends or loved ones seem sad, or withdrawn, or in pain, ask them about it. Don't be afraid. The worst they can do is say "No thanks, I'm fine".
After pondering and grieving over my good friend's suicide in high school for years and years, that was my conclusion. That I had failed him by not reaching out when he became withdrawn and distant. By not stopping to ask him to come hang out with us when we saw him the night he died. His death broke everyone's heart. He was so funny and nice and sweet and good. He was a really cool person.
So from that point forward I always do my best to reach out to people who seem to be going through rough times, but it still wasn't enough to save my cousin who killed himself last year. I hadn't talked to him since his dad's funeral the year before. I didn't have any clue he was going through bad things in his life. I didn't know he needed family and friends to gather round him. We would have. We all would have wanted to. We all loved him. He was probably my favorite of all my many cousins. Years earlier we had worked on an engineering project together and been fairly close for a while. But you know how easy it is to drift apart from people. I wish I hadn't let that happen. But it's too late now to fix it.
So people, anyone who is thinking about dying, about taking themselves out, know that your loved ones love you. We care about you and want to help. We would give anything to help. Don't let us find out when it's too late. Talk to us. Have a little bit of faith. I know your brain is telling you that nobody cares, that they'll be better off without you. You know what? That's a big lie. Yeah, that's right. Your brain is telling you a lie. Let us show you how much we love you. Give us half a chance. Please.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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The worst part about being suicidal is that the urge seems perfectly rational at the time. Things are bad, they cannot be changed, they will never change, it cannot be endured, there is only one recourse. Believe it or not, not telling you is supposed to be a kindness. You cannot change what cannot be changed, so why upset you?
Sure, while I'm sane it sounds rediculous. But at the time, that's reality. Depression is basically a delusion - but a really convincing one.
I don't know if it helps any, but your friend and your cousin both had the best of intentions. In their minds, their choice was merciful - the sudden tearing of a band aid. One quick yank instead of years of slow, agonizing tugging.
The reaching out you do is all that can be done. Because by the time we reach suicidal, it's too late for us to know we need help.
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We had a thread a while back about this article from the New Yorker about suicide and the Golden Gate Bridge. I thought it might be of interest here.
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AvidReader, you sound like someone who has been through it yourself. I hope you're not feeling like that now. Please email me any time you want to talk about things. Even if you don't want to talk about things but your brain is telling you this is a good idea, please email me. Or you can IM me either one. My contact info is in my profile. Thanks.
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Thanks for the offer, Tatiana. It's been several years, but it's certainly among my more memorable experiences.
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