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My mom might be transferring to Maryland soon but is asking for my "permission" first. She knows I love to debate and discuss politics and that I want to go to Mass. for college. I visited Boston and loved it.
I'm torn between leaving friends,a good reputation, activities and a 'boyfriend' here in Baton Rouge. I'm known for my efforts in music, art, literature, 'politics' and about to further that list. It took so long to get to where I am now and I'd like to continue from where I am. I have teachers, other students and organizations wanting me to advance more here.
My problem is that Maryland might be better for me in education and helping me start off well as compared to Louisiana. It's 'great' in politics, close to Massachussetts as compared ot here and my mom would still keep her job. She will either resign or transfer to Maryland and it's somewhat depending on me right now.
I'm not sure what to say and I can't ask my friends what they think because they'd be biased. What do you think?
Posts: 4628 | Registered: Jul 2002
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She'd give up her job she's had for over a decade because her co-workers are taking her for granted/underestimiating her. She gets stressed at work and brings it home so she cracks instantly and her health is going down-hill. She's not sure if she can get a job around here so she thinks she has more of a chance staying with the USDA and just go to Maryland.
Posts: 4628 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Well, being in Baton Rogue vs Maryland won't be THAT drastically different when you're in college. Either way, its probably a plane trip home, as its an 8 hour train trip to DC from boston, so not much shorter to anywhere in Maryland. Maybe 7 hours. So keep that in mind, too.
Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2001
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She's planning to resign in October. I'm not really for it but I understand why she's doing it.
Posts: 4628 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Okay. I'm sure your mother knows what she's doing.
If it comes down to whether or not to move, I personally think that moving sucks - especially when you like your situation. You don't need a new start, and you like your current situation and are doing well. If it is truly up to you and your mother is not suffering, then I'd stay where you are.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Since you will be leaving Louisianna anyway when you go to college and probably as you move into your career, you will lose touch with a lot of the friends you have now. It is a harsh fact, but true.
At 14, with your plans in mind, it seems hard, but your schooling will probably have more impact on your future than your friends will have. Also, you haven't started highschool yet. You will be able to keep track of more highschool friends on the east coast eventually if you went to highschool on the east coast.
Get a couple of reference letters from your teachers, in case there are programs there that need teacher approval. Your in school reputation with teachers is lost in the transition from middle school to high school anyway. And you can gain a good reputation easily with peer groups by joining the clubs there and such and being useful in them. Volunteer to help in things.
Your 'coming a long way' is as much in yourself as with your reputation. It is something that you can do a lot easier a second time than the first time. And at 14, you still have time to grow into being a leader (or what ever role you are desiring in HS). A lot of the opportunities in highschool don't come until you are a Junior or Senior anyway.
As for your boyfriend, that really is difficult, and I do sympathize, but at your age it probably amounts the same thing as your friends. Maybe not, but probably. You still have a lot of self discovery to do. It would be a stroke of good luck if you both grew in compatible ways.
So my advice is, try it in Maryland.
Posts: 3495 | Registered: Feb 2000
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Resigning means losing a job and finding another one. That could end up being pretty difficult for your mom. Things being difficult for your mom would definately impact on your life.
But here is a question that needs to be ask: Why is she resigning and will moving to Maryland really solve the problem?
Posts: 3495 | Registered: Feb 2000
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She works for the USDA in the field of entomology. There are 3 federal bee labs in the US, one in Texas ( I think), Louisiana and Maryland. My mom's been working with them since I was born. Since she's a minority they underestimate her and she's tired of the stress she has to put up with. She likes what she does so she just wants to go to another lab.
Yet another thing she has to watch out for is that Bush might be cutting the funding for federal research labs so that means she'll be cut soon anyhow. They're planing stop the funding of all of three labs and just have one, probably in Maryland.
Thanks for the advice, Amka.
Posts: 4628 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Maethoriell, first off hat's off to your mom for getting your input. My mother decided to move to Texas when I was 16. I didn't move with her, and tried to finish high school on my own in OKC,OK. It didn't end well, and I rarely speak to her now. Get as much advice as you can and sit down with your Mom and talk it all out. Your friends will be biased as I assume they want you to stay, but you should still discuss it with them. They could have great input or mention pros or cons you hadn't thought of. Also discuss it with teachers or pastors or others that know your family. It sounds like your mom is in a specialized field and may have trouble finding work in it in LA, unless she has a PhD and can get a job at a university. Although I was against moving, so much so I moved (or was kicked) out of the house, I was also 2 years older and wanted to finish HS in the same area I had been for 7 years. If I had been 14 I probably wouldn't have been so against moving. There was also a new stepfather (#2) I despised mucking up the situation. Try to understand your mother's situation and explain your's as best you can. That way you can make a family decision with mutual respect. Don't forget all the cultural advantages of D.C. Best of luck where ever you end up. Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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(love that icon!) I don't know what the right thing for you to do is, but I'll be thinking of you.
/tangent Morbo are you a Sooner or a Cowboy? I lived in Norman for 5 years going to school! /end tangent
I went away to a University 1000s of miles away from where I grew up. It seems very easy to find friends when you are at a University or even a community college. However, now that I've moved again far away from college, I'm having a much harder time making friends because I'm at work 8 hours a day and not rubbing elbows with the masses in high school or college.
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If you think that the move will be best for your mom then give that a lot of weight. If your mom is happy and has a good job that makes a big difference in your life. I can certainly see why you are reluctant to leave your situation, though. You have your jeesh and things are looking good for you.
It's been my experience that some places work out great for people and others don't. If you move to Maryland and the school you go to first doesn't work out for you, will you be able to move to a different one or even again to another to try again? If so then the move sounds good to me. I don't really think academically you will be that much better situated in Maryland than Louisiana, but I suppose it's possible. I think the most important thing for you to consider, though, is your mom's job. For you, so long as you have several options in case you just happen to get a bad fit or something on the first try, I think you will do wonderfully well wherever you go.
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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First, I think the ultimate goal should be to have your mom in a stable job that she enjoys. Everything is better for everyone involved that way. From what it sounds like to me, the best place for your mom to be is in Maryland.
You're right, the best place for you might be in Louisiana. You have your friends, and you're happy. You might actually have an academic advantage in Louisiana, simply because nowadays schools are looking for diversity -- and everyone in the northeast applies to schools in the northeast. Not always so in Louisiana -- often schools up round these parts are looking for kids from different areas of the country.
That said, I'd like to add something from my personal experience. I moved away from my best friends (and a boyfriend of sorts) when I was 13. We moved from the northeast to South Florida. I kicked and screamed -- it was the LAST thing I wanted to do, and I was convinced that I was going to hate it. Since I knew I was going to hate it, of course, I did hate it. Even though I was surrounded by sun and beaches and a million things to do, I hated it. I was miserable for about three years. (Granted, my initial school situation left much to be desired. However, I was able to change schools after two years, and I was really glad I did.)
I was ecstatic when we moved back to our old area -- same school district, same people. I had a wonderful time. Looking back, though, I would not have changed what we did. Moving was one of the most valuable things I've ever done -- and it makes my transition to college that much easier. It taught me self-reliance, confidence, and showed me that I'm the only one that can make myself happy.
So yes, moving would be hard for you. But if that's the decision you make, don't forget that there are tons of good things that can come out of it.
Posts: 1784 | Registered: Jun 2001
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