posted
Yeah, that's right. We all know that position has to be vacant pretty soon, or else John Paul is a lot more holy than we all know about. Or it's a clever ruse.
So I'm announcing, here, now, that, even though I am an action hero star, I am starting my campaign for Pope. I won't deny it; my motives are completely self-centered (I just like the hat), but that hasn't stopped me from becoming what I am today. Which is nothing. Maybe I should rethink that.
The name of my campaign is "Book: How does he get to be Pope?" because I honestly don't know. I figure it has something to do with God. Maybe he flips a big, divine coin or something, like a really shiny quarter. If I attract enough to my campaign, which I intend to do by faking a death or two, I assume someone will tell me. I hope I don't have to be Catholic or something, because I'm not and I don't know what part of the penis they cut off.
I won't deny it. My platform will be heavily religious. All of my objectives can be summed up with the phrase, "Let's God it up, dude!" which will be my campaign slogan once I figure out how I should campaign. I can tell you one thing for certain: if it's not allowed to have a tiny little monkey dressed up like the Pope and the normal Pope isn't allowed to call him "Li'l P," then that will change immediately.
Anyway, my best to John Paul and my boys in Berlin or Paris or whatever, not to mention the big G and company. Vote for me in the upcoming Pope election. Or maybe pray for me. Think it works that way? Maybe God already knows who we're all going to vote for. I'll have to ask him.
[ August 08, 2003, 05:48 PM: Message edited by: Book ]
Posts: 2258 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
I don't know who you are, but if you're ever in the mood to become my minion, my email address is in my profile.
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Well, his name is Frisco and he has a pretty cute butt and an adorable face. Can you tell if a person is Catholic from that?
(You know, come to think of it, the cutest boys that I would always get crushes on as a child were good Catholic boys. ::sigh:: )
Posts: 9871 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
That all depends on whether or not you'll come with me, and if I can pass you off as a minor. Maybe if I distract a lot of the Vatican with you, I can just run into the Pope's office and lock the door and then after a while they'll have no choice.
Posts: 2258 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
I am just wondering if you ever thought that you might just offend a Catholic or two?
Maybe I will be the next Prophet of the Mormon church? How do you go about doing that? I have no idea, but I like your choir. Maybe I can get myself some more wives once I change the rules of the faith. I can do that right? Once I am head of the Mormons? Just say I had a vision or something?
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