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Grayson Bennett, 6 lbs 11 oz, born this past Friday to my niece, Cheri. Mother and child are both doing well. I'll post pictures when I get them.
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When I saw the subject line my initial thought was that your husband had decided to take the Hatrack plunge, and that you were introducing him to all of us.
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Yep, katharina. But this is my first time to really enjoy the role. My sister was in her early forties when I was born, and my first nephew was already a teenager. (My oldest niece was then a grade-schooler, and the mother of Grayson was born a year or so after me.)
There's a lot of fallout from having much-older parents: my father, who was 65 when I was born, was disabled by a stroke when I was four, and as I went through high school, I took care of him as he went through the process of dying. (He was born in 1908, so he'd be 95 if he were still alive.) However, the benefits more than outweighed the difficulties -- he'd lived an incredibly full life, and I had him at home 24 hrs a day to enjoy. He was awesome.
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Noemon, I'm still working on my husband. I don't think he really gets Hatrack yet, but he's supportive of anything that is good for me. (I have been sneaking in references, though.)
But Grayson, now -- he will make an excellent Jatrequero. I expect to raise him on a steady diet of LoTR parodies, critical analysis, and cross-referencing. Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Heh, my own father is 76 (I'm 22), and my three half-brothers in New Zealand are all in their forties, married, and with up to three children apiece. Their eldest children are teenagers now, though none of them are older than me.
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Wait. You sister was in her early forties when you were born? Did you have different mothers, or was your mother really in her late fifties, early sixties when she had you?!?
Posts: 9871 | Registered: Aug 2001
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My father's first wife died of bone cancer when her children were still in school (or just finishing).
This has actually been the source of a lot of trauma surrounding my mother's recent death, as there were apparently quite harsh words between my mother and her stepson at the time of my father's death (he actually was in the process of suing her for custody of my father), and she never fully reconciled with her stepchildren (i.e., my sister and my eldest brother. my youngest brother and I share both parents). They apparently are not provided for in her will, which covers the home my father left to her (and is where they grew up, too).
This is very, very complicated, and very difficult to sort through, but essentially -- there's no signed copy of the will found yet, although the lawyer has an unsigned copy, and the signed copy may or may not be inside the abandoned building I grew up in, which currently is not covered by insurance, and which has faulty electrical wiring. (We've cut electricity off at the main input, so at least any roaming kids won't accidentally start an electrical fire if they break in.)
My sister is pretty sure my mother has millions stashed away in the house somewhere, although I know we had to cash in her life insurance policy towards the end to pay for her medical care. (She'd become uninsured.) True, the home itself is riverfront property, and that means valuable land, but the building is condemnable. We also have to figure out debts first.
*deep breath
So ... it's been a hard few months in many ways. But I think we will end up with an equitable split of the house/land value four ways, regardless of what the will says. The house was put in my youngest brother's name during the last few weeks of her life, and so it's really up to him -- but both he and I want to honor what my father's wishes would have been, as well as my mother's. My eldest brother is in failing health, and this would be the only estate he would be able to leave to his son.
My mother's family had a similar thing... my great-grandmother died, her husband (not my grandma's dad) remarried, and my mother and her sisters were forgotten. Technically, there was no blood relation, but my mom and my aunts spent fifteen years worth of summers on the family ranch, and the young woman was horribly rude to my grandmother. It was a huge, Southern, royal mess, and in the end, my mom and her sisters were forgotten. My mom didn't care, but I don't think my aunt ever got over it.
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Well, I'm sorry I asked (in that you had to bring up unpleasant stuff,) but glad I did because it is always so cool to learn more about you and family dynamics in general.
So thanks , and sorry .
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katharina, I know -- and that's the sort of thing which can poison families for generations sometimes. My husband is still dealing with the difficulty of having been involved in a similar situation with his father, and I couldn't bear to see that pain replicated over again in my family. While my mother was alive, I was constrained from developing ties as an adult to my half-sister and half-brother. She viewed us even thinking of her stepson as a repudation of all the pain he'd caused her. But now things are different, and I like to think that were she not wracked by pain and depression, she would have wanted us as an intact family anyway.
Kayla, it's fine. Don't worry, please, and certainly don't be sorry. I wouldn't have mentioned it if I wasn't okay with discussing it. I think I'm going through a time of processing now, and having Hatrack ears helps.
Bob, celia, Synesthesia, Olivia -- thanks. It really helps.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Congrats, CT! Happy days for when a new person comes into a family. Great name by the way. Very noble and powerful. Very appropriate for your great nephew .
Your neice is gonna be wanting , but she will be very happy.
My own extended family has some of the same issues as well. My mother's mother was a very "free spirit" when she was young to put it mildly. My mother, to this day, does not know who her father is. She was raised by her grandparents who refused to allow her mother to drag two small children to California without prospect of a home. My grandmother would later return home, married to one of her many husbands (not all at the same time of course... that's more of a Hatrack thing ), wanting her children back. Thank goodness my great-grandparents though this wasn't such a good idea.
Years later, when my mother was to be married to my father, she went searching for her birth certificate for her wedding license, she couldn't find it under here last name. A name she'd lived with since she was a young girl. Her dear mother finally sent a letter to my mother's great aunt to tell her to look under a certain name. A name that turned out to be my mother's father's name. This shock actually caused my mother to block out any details of his full name or anything else about him. She had her name legally changed to the name she'd always known as her own.
Many times she attempted to ask her mother about this man who was her biological father. She refused. Many of my mother's family have also refused to tell her anything. Now that she's older, she's running out of people who were alive back then to ask. I know this is important to my mother, and I have tried to help her, but it's a hard road.
For me, my extended family has never really meant much. I know they should. They are my blood, but I am far more closer to the people who are my adopted family than them. I know that at one time they did matter because I once wrote a letter to my grandfather (father's father). I wanted him to know about his two grandsons he had not met. I was young and naive. And, I was crushed when I got my letter back returned to sender... not even an attempt at opening it. (Later I found out he was indeed where I sent the letter, but that his new family were not thrilled by contact from his former one. At least, I hope this was the case.)
All of these things... these lessons have helped me form the idea of what I think of as family. Those who love you despite who you are and who you are not.
Hmmm... I think that is probably the most personal post I've ever written here... or anywhere. But many of you have shared far more personal matters than I. I really must think of Jatraqueros as part of my adopted family or something... maybe I should go post in the Hatrack En-Mass Wedding Thread now. Might as well make it official. I wonder who will have me....
Oh CT, I am sorry to have hijacked your lovely thread for a moment. To reiterate my first sentence, your grand nephew is very cute. He'll be a charmer... heck.. he already is one.
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But I think we will end up with an equitable split of the house/land value four ways, regardless of what the will says. The house was put in my youngest brother's name during the last few weeks of her life, and so it's really up to him -- but both he and I want to honor what my father's wishes would have been, as well as my mother's. My eldest brother is in failing health, and this would be the only estate he would be able to leave to his son.![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
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, but she will be very happy.![[The Wave]](graemlins/thewave.gif)
