posted
Having once more come to grips with my single state and re-affirmed my resolve (I waffle from time to time and this term was one of those times) to remain unattached until after graduation, I thought that in light of the Internet Dating thread and my unrequieted love for Eowyn (I mean, really, what does Faramir have that I don't?) I would start a counter-thread, a return to the singles threads of old.
Points to Mack for suggesting it first, albeit in jest.
So. If you're single and love it, post here. If you're single and hate it, whine here (though not too much, please, unless it's about Eowyn). If you aren't single, go away.
posted
I'm single and feeling very good about myself. I don't feel like I need to be in a relationship, and I'm happy with the person I am. But I'm also not adverse to forming more friendships with lovely ladies and perhaps starting a relationship from there.
Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
*single* *moving to Ohio for college at the end of this summer* *doesn't want to go through everything that happened last summer, when dating a senior who moved to Oregon for college*
I suppose a light, non-serious relationship would be ok. But the girl would have to know that it can't get too serious. I'd have to make sure that I would follow that myself.
Posts: 1934 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
One is NOT the loneliest number that ever was. For whatever reason, I feel far more lonely in a crowd than I do on my own . . .
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
It seems that all the guys in New Orleans think that if you kiss them, you're automatically in a relationship.
It's not that I don't want one. It's just that I don't want to get into one until it feels right. Besides. I'm not going to study in Dublin with a boyfriend in America.
posted
Man. Where were you when I was in college, pH, and looking for girls in New Orleans who didn't think kissing required an exclusive relationship?
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I'm single. I'm not as unhappy about it as in years past, but it would be nice to have someone to hang out with.
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Right now, I'm holding out for Tom or Frisco to break down and call me. If the law of averages fails me yet again, I'll have to go out and find someone this weekend.
Posts: 641 | Registered: Mar 2001
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posted
Single and happy. I don't even have time anyway. Unless I find someone in the next five minutes can write French Essays on Maupassant's life influencing his book Pierre et Jean in one night (ei for tomorrow), in that case I would be quite open to a relationship.
EDIT: Putting 'time' in capital letters makes it look like the magazine.
posted
Just as a word of warning, within the next 10 posts, someone will mention how great it is NOT being single, and then after that the entire thread is just about how great dating and marriage is.
This means you, Jon and Ruth. Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2003
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She is, you see, 'special'. I don't mean special in the 'short bus' way, she is 'special' in the strikingly attractive, intelligent, and excellent sense of humor way. That can be intimidating to some men. *kicks some men*
Someone, please date my friend and renew my faith in mankind. I know there are secure, attractive, funny men out there. Why aren't they in NH, near mack???
posted
I wouldn't mind dating Mack, but I live all the way out in Kentucky.
I'm the second-last of seven kids to still be unmarried, and Meleah only turned 18 last month, so she doesn't count. Mack is cool, funny, and smart--and she looks like she could break me in half. (Wouldn't hurt for one of us to be tough. )
Posts: 1041 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
I was just thinking about this thread. A bunch of my friends have started to get together with each other. And while I'm happy for them it just changes things, even more so than if they were dating outside our friend group. Now it's not just like they have xyz significant other but when we have general get togethers there's new couplishness.
Posts: 872 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
I found that the dynamics of my social group changed when everyone started pairing off. New people came to the group, and sometimes breakups left people feeling alienated. Oh, and I like being single just fine. Not that I'm completely against having a relationship...but the guy will have to be awfully special to make me want to invest all that time and possibly set myself up for a lot of pain.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I don't mind being single. I am happy being single. It's true that I would love to have kids, to have a family of my own. Nothing could be better than that. I know I would love to be married, to be in love with someone who loved me back, but that doesn't seem to be how the universe is made. So I'm accepting the universe as it is, and not worrying about what it isn't. It's a really cool place, an amazing place, a wonderful playground for me. I love it. And there are lots of people in it for me to love.
Posts: 968 | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
After dating my girlfriend for 4 years. We broke up. It never really registered on my mind that we broke up, and then when it finally hit me, that we were not going to get back together, I wanted her back. I know, you've heard this kind of story before. But needless to say, she did not want me back. In fact shes got a new boyfriend, which I think is kind of odd, since shes saying shes taking this time alone, to find out who she really is. How is she doing that if shes already pouring herself in to another relationship? Oh well, the way she is acting is bringing me back to the reason why we first broke up, I didnt think she was right for me.
But, this thread is about being single! And I am now... but am looking for dates. It doesnt need to be a full fledged relationship right now, though I do miss that. It has been kind of hard, because I work all day, in an office. I dont really have any girls or much potential to meet girls that I would like to date. But after about a month of searching and searching, I have found one girl so far, who seems to be a little interested in dating. we'll see Posts: 879 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Something I've come to notice in my time dating is that people don't think about the same things/ same way. More depth would be to say one person would think they were in a relationship, and the other would think that they were just friends...
I'm single, and quite frankly, looking but not persuing: I think that I need to figure out more about myself, and find out more of what I'm looking for in a woman / companion.
With that said: My previous relationships have all had nothing but miscommunication, Maybe instead of looking for someone to "Date", look for someone that you can relate to, or can have a solid friendship, to which you can build upon and make a relationship in such a manner than you actually communicate, and clearly.
Okay, I realize i'm single and don't have any "weight" in what I say because I am. The thing that allows myself to speak/talk about it is that I have thought about it in depth, and have tried to be very introspective.
One thing I think needs to be said is that not all relationships should start with infatuation, or based purely on looks / appearance, while these things are nice, and something everyone looks at all the time, they are really not the end goal, or at least not my end goal. *Which also makes me think that I may never find what i'm looking for, because I have yet to see anything remotely resembling what I'm looking for in a person. That is mostly due to the fact that I really don't know what i'm looking for, except that I know I want to be accepted, just as everyone else does, and I want to accept them for who they are.*
I think communication is really important when you are persuing ANY kind of relationship, and when there is lack of communication you have lack of understanding, or possible chance for common ground that you could use to make a foundation for your relationship.
Another key to relationships in my mind is that you have to accept yourself before you can be accepted by others *allowing others to accept you because you accept yourself*.
Just letting my mind leak, any ideas?
Posts: 1132 | Registered: Jul 2002
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At my college, it seems that most relationships are based on infatuation. Or booze. I'm not sure which yet. I'm guessing this is the case for the vast majority of college-age relationships.
I like the fact that people actually read books and things. They like to be educated. They have goals and things like that. Therefore, most of the young men I meet while I'm at school are automatically attractive to me because they actually want to do something with their lives. When I was in high school, I usually dated complete losers who thought they were going to be rockstars or drug dealers or something.
Unfortunately, all of these intelligent college guys also want to get laid.
Which is a huge factor in pH remaining so very single.
That, and I have this tendency to fall head-over-heels for guys that I absolutely cannot have, either because they live to far away, or they're never here, or they don't like me back, or they're just _extremely_ bad for me.
*growls and wanders off to find peanut butter cup ice cream and Colin Farrell dvd's*
posted
pH, you're in your first year of your undergrad. Everyone's away from home for the first time, away from mommy and daddy. Stretching their legs for the first time. Give it time, yo. Besides, who has time to balance both school and a relationship?
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Narnia, what do you mean "the day after Christmas" sucks? I kinda of think the whole Christmas season (at least this year) is terrible for terminally single people, namely myself. My Christmas actually got good today.
Btw, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks they'll never find what they're looking for. I can't imagine that I will be alone forever, but pickens seem slimmer than usual for the likes of me. And I admit that I am bitter, but I try not to let it consume me so that maybe eventually I'll notice Prince Charming when he's standing right in front of me. As if.
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Oct 2003
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quote:I like the fact that people actually read books and things. They like to be educated. They have goals and things like that. Therefore, most of the young men I meet while I'm at school are automatically attractive to me because they actually want to do something with their lives. When I was in high school, I usually dated complete losers who thought they were going to be rockstars or drug dealers or something.
Unfortunately, all of these intelligent college guys also want to get laid.
Speaking on behalf of those young men, don't you think that if you enjoy their company but don't want to sleep with them, you're more a friend than a girlfriend? I mean, I can understand their confusion.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:Well, seeing as sex before marriage is against my religious beliefs...
Somehow, I doubt any god's going to be petty enough to ban you from Heaven based on the date your hymen broke.
Heh, I was just listening to Chris Rock the other day, and he brought up an excellent point. Doesn't it seem just slightly ridiculous that a god's going to be petty enough to discriminate on basis of diet? Does God really give you that many points for not eating pork or cow? I mean, yeah, I killed a bunch of kids -- but I ate right!
I hold the same opinion for sex. If your god went and made the cosmos, I doubt she's about to send you to Hell based on the date your love life started.
Heh, this issue probably deserves its own thread. What with all the Mormons around here -- why would God care about coffee, of all the issues to fret over?
And, heh, excuse the rant. I'm in the mood.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Lalo - one would generally use the term girlfriend based on the nature and degree of one's emotional commitment, rather than one's physical relationship. At least so I would hope.
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
You and I would, but how many nubile young freshmen undergraduates care enough to distinguish relationships beyond the physical?
Not that I'm insulting the the intellectual or emotional capactities of young men, but like Bob said, theirs is the time to stretch legs -- and more than a few freshmen I know consider stretching a girlfriend's legs to be the way to stretch their own.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Well, Lalo, if we're going to start a serious theological discussion in a thread about dating......
A lot of people seem to think that the more powerful and knowledgeable you are, the less you care about the little things. IMHO, the opposite is true. It is precisely because God is omnipotent and omniscient that "his eye is on the sparrow and all the hairs of your head are numbered". The greater you are, the tinier the details you care about, because you realize more and more how important details are. (Or maybe it's the other way around--maybe it's caring about the details that makes you more knowledgeable and powerful.) Apply that to morality, and suddenly...everything matters, however trivial it might seem to others.
Posts: 1041 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
Caring about the little things if fine. But caring about the irrelevant details is obnoxious, and unbecoming of an omnipotent, omniscient deity.
Am I a bad person if I eat pork or drink caffeine? Aren't sins meant to distinguish moral crimes? I fail to see how sleeping with my girlfriend or enjoying a good steak somehow incriminates me, much less in the eyes of an omnipotent god who clearly has too much time on her hands.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I don't necessarily think that pre-marital sex is bad. My church does believe it's a sin, but let's leave that aside. I do think that sex should be reserved for when you're emotionally ready for it.
*shrug*
That's all.
I think my difficulty with dating occurs not from my beliefs about sex before marriage (I'm fine with it), it's my own problems with intimacy. I've made great gains with it and am mostly okay.
The thing with most males my age, they expect/want sex in their relationships. I'm fine with that, but I don't know when I'll be capable of it. Most guys aren't that patient. I don't even know when that will be, really. It depends on the guy, trust and all that, etc.
So entering the dating world becomes very tough at my age. I'm 23 (24 in a couple weeks). Guys my age..well. Lalo is my age. Case in point. Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
Hey, Mac and I agree that sex should be reserved until one is emotionally ready. And I'm fairly sure we both agree that "should" does not make having sex when too emotionally immature a "sin," right? Which is the issue I'm tackling at the moment, the labelling of harmless acts as "sins."
I also agree that one shouldn't expect sex in any casual relationship. God knows I don't -- I never push the issue, I just wait for her to be ready for that kind of relationship. Not all guys are pigs, you know. You just need to start dating more Mexicans. Live la vida loca!
And damn, I'd forgotten. We're both Roman Catholic, right?
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Last time I checked I was Roman Catholic. Though not a very GOOD one.
The problem with theology is that it comes down to what God you believe in and what attributes you believe that God has. And through that, what you believe about the Scripture and canon for your chosen beliefs.
You can prove and disprove anything based on YOUR beliefs, but it might have no profound impact on someone else's.
I understand why moral theologians of the conservative sort would frown upon pre-marital sex in my church. Even moderates would hold some sort of objection. But when confession time comes, there are priests who would say that committing a mortal sin (the really bad ones ) take a DELIBERATE turning away from God. The royal, "Eff you, I don't need you."
Now, most young adults, when deciding to have and engaging in sex, if they do follow a religion, aren't saying, "Eff you God, I don't need you."
Instead, they're either overcome by the moment or have made a mature decision that they've made it into their early twenties, are not married, but are emotionally ready to bring this type of intimacy into a relationship.
Is God going to get pissed if the person is someone who otherwise a decent human being? Are they trying the best they can to be decent?
The God that I believe in wouldn't be pissed. Irritated, maybe. I don't know. I can't claim to know God or His wishes. But it really does come down to what you believe and what you believe that OTHERS should believe. Do you project your moral system onto others? Are there certain absolutes (don't murder) and others that are not-so-certain (sex before marriage)?
*shrug*
Having sex when you're emotionally immature? I don't think it's a sin of the mortal sense. You're an immature kid, you'll learn. Part of growing up is making mistakes. There's too much other bad crap going on to tell folks that sex is a huge giant big ol' honkin' sin.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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