With the Labor Day weekend past we have now moved beyond the latest round of the most competitive, violent, injury-inducing sport ever devised by man. Also the most spontaneous, as a new match begins as soon as the kids see Uncle Chris.
I’m speaking, of course, of Kid Wrestling.
At every family event, there will be a bout. It begins when a dad, or an uncle, or a close family friend foolishly steps away from the rest of the grown-ups and strolls somewhere where there’s a lot of room and a minimum of breakables within flailing range. Maybe the living room, or the back yard. Very soon thereafter a child will notice him there, vulnerable, and will yell the traditional battle cry of Kid Wrestling: “Get him!”
There then follows a vicious, no-holds-barred battle royale as every child in the house under 10 -- and a few of the neighbor kids as well -- does his or her bloody-minded best to be the first one to sit on the man’s head.
I should point out here that there are certainly female Kid Wrestling athletes, but the overwhelming number seem to be male. Possibly because the women are smart enough not to get mixed up in it...
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That's based on years of observation, mostly of how my wife immediately grabs a recliner and settles in for the show.
The worst I've ever been taken down in a Kid Wrestling bout was while fighting with my son (then 7) and my friend Isaac's two girls (ages 8 and 6). Isaac, a wise man, had taught his daughters how to fight and how to work together so that the older one distracted me while the younger ran and threw her entire body at my head. It was like being hit with a 50-lb sack of flour. I went down hard, face first. He said later, with some satisfaction, "They won't stop a determined, prepared adult, obviously. But I pity the poor guy that tries to nab them, thinking they'll just cry. Honey, show Mr. Bridges that kick I showed you..."
[ September 05, 2007, 11:34 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
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