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» Hatrack River Forum » Archives » Landmark Threads » Pretty Lady Flower's 500 post Landmark, or a story about bonds

Author Topic: Pretty Lady Flower's 500 post Landmark, or a story about bonds
Member # 188

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Hello, fellow Jatraqueros. Pretty Lady Flower here, and just like the subject says, this is my 500th post landmark. I felt like it was time for a landmark for me, since I’ve been around for 6 years or so, and I recently had a huge life landmark as well. I got married.

A lot of you have heard me talk about my husband, Rick, in the Hatrack Chat, and I had even asked for some help in a thread to think up ideas for the scavenger hunt that I sent him on-but I think I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Rick and I met 10, almost 11 years ago when we were in the 7th grade. He played the french horn in the band, and I played the flute. Now, I was most certainly not at all popular through school, but Rick was definitely what we called the ‘Band King’. Rick has this way about him that makes you almost feel like when you’re near him, everything just runs smooth, and I think everyone wanted to be near him. It was almost like there was liquid pouring all around him and it just calmed you down when you stood next to him. Almost everyone liked him, parents, teachers, kids…everyone. He didn’t have very many enemies at all.

Of course he didn’t notice me.

I’ll say that he knew who I was through friends of his that were also friends of mine, but we didn’t actually have a real conversation until sometime mid-way through the 8th grade. That’s when I’ll say that my obsession with words changed the entire course of my life.

Rick had apparently noticed from his seat behind me the story that I had been working on lying underneath my chair in the red notebook I’d been carrying it around in. James, one of my close friends and also a French horn player, told him what it was, and Rick took it upon himself to pick it up from under my chair and read it. I didn’t even notice it was gone. After class, Rick handed it back to me and told me he wanted to talk about it with me. We talked long into the evening when I called him later on, and it seems as though now that we never stopped.

Now, one thing that I haven’t talked about yet is Christi MacMahan. Christi was Rick’s girlfriend at the time, and she was definitely the ‘Band Queen’, a clarinetist who had a constant gathering around her of young girls who wanted to be just like her. I was not one of those girls, and was often the victim of their mischief. I wanted no part of Christi, but would have to put up with her for another two years while Rick dated her.

Rick and my friendship grew, and we were always talking late on the phone, going places with the people around him I was coming to call ‘friends’ on a more constant basis, and I absolutely adored Rick. Our parents were always questioning us, as I found out later, with “Why don’t you go date that skinny girl with the brown hair?” or “Why don’t you ask out Rick?” Never, and I repeat, never, did I ever consider dating him during this time. He was taken, and so was I, both of us caught up in that foolish, juvenile passion that feels like you’re swept away and isn’t it a shame that you aren’t adult or else you’d be with that person forever.

In the 10th grade, I received some news from Rick that made me think that the whole world was going to collapse around me. Rick was leaving for Saudi Arabia, and would be going to Leysin American School in Switzerland for an unknown amount of time. Rick left, and I emailed him constantly and we talked on Yahoo! Messenger when I was up early enough and he was up late enough. Christi broke up with Rick not long after he left, she had been seeing someone else and decided that it was time for Rick to know.

Meanwhile, I had turned 16, and was no longer required by my parents to stay with The Way International, the Christian religious cult that I grew up in. I tried various religions, as some of you know from chatting with me in Hatrack chat. I stayed the longest with Wicca, which is the religion that I follow now, and even though I was comfortable with it and it was something that I believed in, I was still curious and continued trying other religions.

Sometime in the summer of 1999, while waiting anxiously for senior year to begin, I broke up with my longtime boyfriend, Ron. He took it very hard. Harder than most, and I will never forgive him for a number of things he did to me during the months that followed. I was still talking to Rick, and if it weren’t for his support and the support of my friend Sara, I would probably have gone back to Ron and his controlling ways.

As life sometimes throws things like this in our path, shortly afterward Rick and I decided to date, even though he was overseas. I was still somewhat reserved with this, as I was not convinced that I would ever really see him again. I believe it was me who had finally asked him to date me though, with the infamous question asking for clarification, “So am I singular now, or are we plural?” We fell in love though, the long-standing bonds of loyalty pulling at each other from across the ocean.

Rick came home three months later, declaring that he wanted his senior gift from his parents to be him spending his senior year with me.

…And that is how we came to be together.

Five years later, I still can’t believe that the Band Reject is now married to the man who used to be the Band King. Rick has been willing to accept every part of me, from my dancing to my religion, which after a brief bout of trying Catholicism I had returned to Wicca, which Rick eventually converted to as well. He understands my eccentricities, my hobbies, my obsession with learning and reading.

He proposed to me two and a half years ago, and this October for his birthday I surprised him with a scavenger hunt leading him to find that I had planned out our wedding, which occurred as planned, on November 13th of this year in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. He told me that it was the best birthday present he’d ever gotten.

When my Dad asked me, “Are you ready” as I stood at the top of the stairs and ‘What a Wonderful World’ by Louis Armstrong started playing, I started crying and said, “No, I’m not.” We’ve been through so much, as couples often have, that isn’t listed here, and for a brief moment, I questioned whether or not I’d be able to make it as someone worthy of his affection. Would I be strong enough to support him when he needed me? I feared that I would lose part of myself with this act, that I was giving it away and would never be the same again. And suddenly, it occurred to me, what can be a stronger bond between two people that grows over such distance, for so long, and doesn’t diminish but continues growing when the distance is gone? If I wasn’t ready then, after so long, when would I ever be? Of course I would be no different later on than I was then, or wouldn’t I have already changed?

I find now, nearly a month later, that I am a happier person now than I was then. It is as though the invisible ties that bind us together suddenly became visible, tangible, and I am content. No part of me is gone, but every part is accentuated. The world is more vibrant, for the moment, more graceful.

For a long, long time, I always viewed Rick as being mine, and never was I his. I see how silly that view was now, and have, I think, answered my own question after all this time.

I am no longer singular, but we are plural.

Photos can be found here.

Thank you for reading my landmark post. Here's looking for another 6 years and 500 posts.

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Member # 2199

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You have amazing eyes.

Don't worry, I am married too...lol...

But don't ever call yourself a rejct again, ever, because it isn't true unless you allow it to be.

Obviously Rick agrees with me, or he wouldn't have married you.

Here's to far more than 500 posts in the next six years. Nice to "meet" you.


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Member # 3206

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Wow, the pictures are so awesome. You look so luminous with joy and inner light, and he looks so happy and peaceful and "at home" as long as he is wherever you are. And I love all the orchids, including the tatoo!


And Kama, its a good thing she got married, cause man she has Sexy Legs I wish mine were half as nice!

[ December 10, 2004, 11:25 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]

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Goody Scrivener
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He's a good lookin man and you were a beautiful bride. I wish you all the happiness in the world together!!
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Member # 1772

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How exciting!! Congratulations on your wedding! I hope your life together is filled with beauty, love, and joy. You two make a great-looking couple!
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yay!! congratulations! I hope you two have a wonderful marriage together...
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Member # 2221

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Wow... you look so radiant. You look like a princess with her prince. Congrats on the landmark and the marriage. Glad you found your Prince Charming.
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Member # 852

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Thanks for sharing! What a beatiful story. [Smile]

By the way, when I clicked your link, I got this pop-up window showing me WINNER WINNER WINNER you just won a cruise because you are the 1.000.000 visitor. And then I had to call a number in the US. [Dont Know] I did call, but got an answering machine. I left a message... but I can't believe it is true! I'll keep you informed.

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Member # 188

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Thank you. [Blushing] And thank you for the leg complement AJ and the eye complement, Kwea.

Rick also says thank you, I've read him the comments so far.

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Member # 5705

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Wow! You were the "Band Reject"?! Either there was some really good competition there, or they were just plain blind... You look stunning in that wedding dress! Rick's the lucky man, I tell you! (d'uh, you can't be the lucky "man" anyway, you're the lucky woman [Wink] )
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Member # 6803

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Gorgeous. You looked absolutely gorgeous. And I loved how it all turned out. Here's wishing you many, many happy years with Rick. [Smile]
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You look very happy. [Smile] And absolutely, luminously lovely.

And you saw a deer on your honeymoon! How cool!

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Member # 188

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Thank you for all of your complements, folks!

Rivka, we saw actually 4 or 5 deer on our trip. The deer that is in the picture was actually a doe we saw coming down the mountain with her fawn on a path that was right next to the bed and breakfast we stayed in. That was very, very cool. We couldn't get them both in the same frame, though.

The coolest part of the wildlife that we saw while we were there were the white squirrels. The story has it that there was an older Japanese woman that had migrated to America after WWII, and brought with her two white squirrels. She moved to Eureka Springs, and she gave the female of the pair to one of her close friends. The squirrel got loose, and now white squirrels, which are apparently territorial, can be seen by the B&B we stayed in. They bred with the grey and red squirrels in the area, and it was neat to see the color combinations that resulted. We haven't gotten those pictures developed yet, but I can't wait to get them done!

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