posted
has anyone ever asked you to write a letter of recomendation for them, and you realize you have supported him for three years? how do you tell the reciever of the letter about the person while not getting sued? I read a book about it, and got some good ideas. such as double meaning sentences, and frazes like "He will be fired with enthusiasm." any others like it? just trying to help you out their.
Posts: 240 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
With letters of recommendation: If you cannot write one honestly that espouses the merits of the subject, then you should not agree to write one.
Under no circumstances should you agree to write a Letter of Recommendation and then lace the letter with double entendre or sly pokes at the subject.
Seriously, if you can't be honestly praising of the person, tell them you can't write the letter.
Its a letter of recommendation. If you can't recommend them. Do not write it.
[This message has been edited by pantros (edited January 13, 2006).]
posted
Without knowing all the circumstances, it's hard to say. There are universal truths that could apply.
So, I guess the question is, if the situation were reversed, and you were asking them for this, and they had serious reversations, how would you like them to handle the situation?
Maybe it's best to be honest but tactful with the person. Start with commending thier strengths, then highlight your areas of concern. Then tell them that if these areas of concern were addressed to your satification, perhaps you could reconsider sending the letter.
Again, speaking in universals, sometimes we don't know everything about a person's circumstances or what's going on inside. Sometimes a little digging helps.
A friend of mine was told to fire a lady who was constantly late to work, and when she got there, she was too distracted to perform. Now cooperate America would say, it's business, fire her! Instead, my friend dug a little, found that she had nobody to look after her children during the day, and that's the reason she was late and distracted. He did the right thing. He stood up to his superiors, found a way to resolve her situation, and she was a dynamite performer thereafter, loyal and grateful.
Of course, this person's situation might be very different. But it never hurts to apply to golden rule.
This is not a difficult question, IMHO. If you can't write a letter of *recommendation* then don't write a letter. You certainly cannot write a letter that is a lie, nor can you write a letter that discredits the subject under consideration.
Two additional things: 1. There are legal implications here. If you write a bad recommendation and a person does not get the job, however truly they deserve not to get the job, they can sue you and may win.
2. There are moral implications. You are under social contract not to lie. You are also under social contract to write the letter as one of recommendation, since that is what you were asked to do.
Of course, telling someone that you can't write them a letter because you don't honestly have anything nice to say about them can be...well, good luck!
posted
A letter of recommendation should be honest. That means, of course, that the letter itself must be a letter of recommendation rather than otherwise, and it also means that you shouldn't say untrue things.
Putting that aside, if you put "double meaning sentences, and frazes like 'He will be fired with enthusiasm.'" in your letter, you will only look like an idiot who is accidentally phrasing things ambiguously.
Just write the letter, say what you can that is both true and positive. The people that read those know how to notice what you fail to mention. But they won't respond as you wish to attempts at veiled invective, particularly if they realize you're doing it on purpose rather than because you don't know how to put a clear sentance together.
posted
Just list the things they do well and write those into the letter. Anything else leave out. It's as simple as that... oh and keep it impersonal. Just because you don't like someone doesn't mean they don't have good qualities. Sometimes they're not suited to the job they're doing.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
Everyone has something positive about them. That doesn't mean you can't dislike them, since sometimes someone's drawbacks are greater than their positives. Just the fact that they stayed with the same job for three years makes them superior to me in that respect by about 100%.
Posts: 366 | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
Nimnix: I WISH I was as quick on my feet as that. I think it was more like: 'You got the job didn't you' with a 'you ungrateful brat' under my breath.
to the question:
I think its pretty childish to sprinkle the letter with statements designed to damage this person's chance. Such a letter says more about the writer than the subject.
(Is it true in the US that by law when you do not get a job you can request fedback on the reasons? __ It is true here for public service jobs. I remember once asking for feedback and having it explained to me that I should remove XXX from my list of references because I was a contender for the position but when they had telephoned all the referees this particular one, who had written a great reference, had submarined me on the phone. -- It was a genuine kick in the guts. It made both him and I look like idiots.)
PS: HSO __ Which obvious question are you proposing?
[This message has been edited by hoptoad (edited January 16, 2006).]
posted
I just now noticed your capitalization and spelling, dreadlord. I hope this person you can't stand isn't your secretary.
Posts: 366 | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
I guess some kind of a subjunctive or conditional would have been called for. Your reply implies you do not have a secretary.
Posts: 366 | Registered: Sep 2006
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