posted
The first half or so of this piece has been critiqued once. I've incorporated those critiques and finished the piece. I now need readers to help prepare this for submission. Word count 5500 words. I'd prefer some fresh eyes, but those who critiqued it before are more than welcome to it as well.
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Gramps had two obsessions: World War II and King Arthur. The War because he served in it. Arthur because he met him.
I had a few hours before shipping out to Afghanistan for eighteen months and wanted to see Gramps once more, so I went to the care center. That’s when he told me.
“Morning, Gramps,” I said, like I did every time. I didn’t expect an answer. He was walled in by Alzheimer’s and hadn’t recognized me in more than a year. But that day he looked right at me--not through me like he usually did--and smiled.
posted
I remember this one, and I liked it the first time. Since I have already read the first part, I'll wait and see how many bites you get. But I would be glad to take a look if you'd like. Plus, I wouldn't mind seeing how it turns out .rtf or .doc format if you do send it.
[This message has been edited by TruHero (edited October 06, 2004).]
posted
If you want to risk casting pearls before mine, here's another pair of eyes. I'm new, but I need to get my feet wet sooner or later. A modern servicemember deploying to SW Asia, WWII, AND King Arthur? Too much to resist.
Posts: 151 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
This may be a little late and you may already have all the readers you want, but I can't resist. I looked it up because you gave me some great feedback and I wanted to see the kinds of things you wrote. I love your opening. Maybe I'm biased because I'm a soldier recently returned from SWA and I love the King Arthur legends. Count me in if it isn't too late...
Posts: 21 | Registered: Oct 2004
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