This is my first post. I would be grateful for any opinions on it one way or the other.
Please forgive my grammer issues.

Rays of light fell into a multicolored veil. The skylight, its magnificently stained facade known to alter itself with the changes in the weather and seasons now depicted a peaceful scene of graceful clouds drifting across a red sky. The distinctive casement left the entire hall blushing a dark shade of crimson.

“So this is it?” Simon brushed a delicate hand along the rail of the catwalk. His eyes scanning , taking in a view he had never dreamt he would see. “The Library of Nations.” His eyes widened in surprise as his voice although merely a whisper, echoed and danced throughout the great hall.

“It is more museum then library young man.”
Simon turned, startled to see that an old man holding a staff with an odd assortment of bells and chimes attached along it; had managed to sneak up on him unheard. “Oh…you surprised me.” Simon said. “I thought I was alone.”

“My apologies young sir, it is an effect of the skylight; Its magic has a way of drawing you in.”
Simon looked up at the skylight, realizing for the first time that it really was magic at work and not some trick of the eye, the shifting shapes and flowing colors blended seamlessly from a scene of tranquil sky to a picture of a crystal lake surrounded by rolling green hills. The light that filled the hall was shifting also now from crimson to blue to green.

“I’ve never seen anything like it.” Simon said.
The old man chuckled. “And it is not likely that you ever will my friend.” “The magic that created it has long since been forgotten.”

[This message has been edited by Jimbob squarepants (edited February 04, 2005).]

Execution of your idea should be your primary focus, however. Because those grammar and punctuation errors will make it difficult for a reader to enjoy your story.

Not be condescending, but there's an excellent resource available on-line for free and it's a must-read for any writer: Strunk's The Elements of Style. A fellow hatracker once posted a link to it, and I'm simply reposting it:

http://www.bartleby.com/141/

If grammar 'n' stuff troubles you, this is your fix.

good luck,

HSO

There are some apparent discrepancies, related to various things and the way you describe them. For instance, "known to alter itself..." clashes horribly with "realizing for the first time...". That could be a straightforward POV error or it could be that you mean Simon had known about the famous window but had always assumed it had a natural explanation, though if it were so you would want to make that very explicit. Also, you place Simon on a catwalk without ever placing the catwalk anywhere specific. Further, you have him surprised by the echo when he speaks, whereas it seems unlikely that he could have reached his current location (whereever it is) without being well aware of it.

Of particular interest is the line where you say, "an old man holding a staff with an odd assortment of bells and chimes attached along it had managed to sneak up on him unheard." Thinking it over in the overall context, it is clear enough that you mean that Simon had been so engrossed in the visual effect of the window that he hadn't heard the (echoing) bells on the old man's staff. Unfortunately, this isn't quite what you actually say, which is why I had to think it over before understanding it. It also doesn't work with Simon's reaction to the echo of his own voice, he was aware of the sounds around him at that point, so why didn't he notice the sound of the bells then?

There are some good things in the way you use internal (for some reason, I just typoed that as "interious") POV action to balance and explicate the dialogue and scene. But there are some bits where you don't keep the POV consistent enough, and other bits where the implied or even explicit meaning of one thing accidently contradicts other things. That last line by the old man is a good example. Contrast his current line with, "And it is not likely that you ever will again, my friend."