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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Short Works » Rivals (Tis bout an MMORPG. Rewritten a bit.)

   
Author Topic: Rivals (Tis bout an MMORPG. Rewritten a bit.)
x__sockeh__x
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Chapter 1
I switched the sound on, typed in my password and thought, "This is it. This is my morning of glory, my chance to prove myself to /them/." In, and out. In, and out. I relaxed my breathing and mentally prepared myself for the upcoming event, the extremely important match with Ren & her party; and held the silver necklace that was given to me by my mother...
I slipped on my virtual reality visor; and my character, Tsukiko, came into focus. Her slender figure stood, and began to walk towards the door towering over the other objects in the room. The bright light of outside came into view, although there were a few clouds out in the sky. Her small sandals crunched in the snow. "Uh-oh," she thought. "my HP level


(Any feedback? Thanks in advance.)

[This message has been edited by x__sockeh__x (edited December 17, 2005).]

[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited December 19, 2005).]


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MidnightWolf_ofClan_Zero
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Cool. I'd read more it it presented itself. I like online games, and they make great stories if you play your cards right.
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x__sockeh__x
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"Cool. I'd read more it it presented itself. I like online games, and they make great stories if you play your cards right."

=) Thanks. ^^ Was that supposed to be an if where it said that you'd read more it it presented itself?
I like online games too...and they do make great stories, some of them. =D


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MidnightWolf_ofClan_Zero
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"if where it said that you'd read more it it presented itself?"

Wha?


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x__sockeh__x
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I meant, did you mean that you would read it if it represented itself more, or you would read it and it represented itself? ^^;; Or something else?
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MidnightWolf_ofClan_Zero
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....yeah. (?) If you continued the story i.e. post more... I'd read it.
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x__sockeh__x
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Hm? I don't think we're allowed...I think mine already exceeded the 13-line limit by a line or two...
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MidnightWolf_ofClan_Zero
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Wonder whathappened to this file a year or two ago. They had a file to post full stories. It dissapeared. I'll post more. I get in trouble. Screw it.
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x__sockeh__x
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Oh, really? That would've been cool...I would've liked to have others read all of my story. =(
Lol...I'll be looking forward to it. You have tons of writing talent! =D

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MidnightWolf_ofClan_Zero
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Dude! Hey, completely out of nowhere... how'd u come up with ur loggin name? x_sockeh_x? Makes no sence to me. Well...thats.. just me.
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x__sockeh__x
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Well, I came up with it on Neopets..there were a bunch of sock things, and I became obsessed with socks..and at the time everyone was using "x__namehere__x" and stuff, so I followed that, and everyone used "eh" at the end of things..so I used that. Normally, I would've used Bean, but this being an Orson Scott Card site, I would've felt really, really stupid.
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MidnightWolf_ofClan_Zero
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOL. Funny. Sorry... if I made you feel bad. I like the Jelly Globs of Doom game. Its addicting. I got lost in it for a whole two hours once. Wow. I really do have no life. Eh, what can you do?
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x__sockeh__x
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I find myself good at Typing Terror. =D I love that game. I love Neo too. No, no offense taken, I'm used to being ridiculed at still going on Neo...I've been going on for a good 3-4 years now. =D Y'know, in Information Processing the other day, I got a typing speed of 75WPM. I think it might've been a glitch, but my friend Jenny doesn't think so. =D
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x__sockeh__x
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Okay...I need a dead-honest opinion. I know I'm just 13, and I probably have no chance what-so-ever, but does anyone here think I would have a chance if I entered this contest?
http://www.bioware.com/biozone/articles/2005_11_30_WritingContest/index.html

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wbriggs
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The way to get full critiques is just to invite people to say "I'll read"; and then you mail it to them. Click on the email icon above the post to get the email address.
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MidnightWolf_ofClan_Zero
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Hey sockeh, send me what you got, I'll read it, and get back to you. What you posted is good so far, so if you can keep that up, you may have a chance. That is, if that's the story that you will be sending.
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x__sockeh__x
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I've just completed Chapter 1. Anyone who wants to read it can either post here or email me (delphikib@gmail.com). ^-^ Thanks!
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