The drugs may have been virtual, but the side effects were sure enough real. I shouldered my way past and couple of forensic technicians in the hallway and observed the body sprawled on the kitchen floor. Belly down on blood-splattered tiles, the man appeared to have been placed in the recovery position, save for his right arm which was crumpled awkwardly beneath his fallen bulk and the fact his head was missing, which kind of made the position redundant.
‘At least he picked a nice day to die,’ I said, wiping the sweat from my brow.
It was midsummer and golden bars of dust-speckled sunlight cut diagonally across the kitchen from the window. Birdsong filtered through the glass, loud and merry, along with the sound of kids

[This message has been edited by Jonny Woopants (edited December 28, 2005).]

Other than that, it's written quite well.

Why can he shove past Forensic Technicians at a crime scene?

You have plenty of opportunities to show this, but don't. Please do, early. A name is a good thing.

The first sentece is a decent start but 'The drugs' need to be specifically named and clarified in the second half of that sentence. "Drugs" is too generic and since you said virtual, we need an incredibly brief statement about that to make it all natural for us.

Something like

The drugs may have been virtual but the side effects of the Vee-H were real enough.

If by virtual drugs you mean that the guy was in a VR world and took the drugs there, blowing up his real head, say something to clarify, where is the jack or vidset?

Why is the MC stopping to notice kids and pretty light when there is a dead body to be paying attention to?

If the kids outside are not integral to the story or if we don't need to see the MC as a sentimental bleeding heart fool, skip it. Nice imagry but it doesnt fit here.

Wiping the sweat from his brow? With what? if he is investigating a crime scene he isn't doing it with his own hands or any other body part that might contact evidence.

what is recovery position?

I don't think 'redundant' is the word you were looking for.

Reading the little intro you provided before the first 13, I felt like I was cheating a little bit, getting some of the story details in advance that your real reader would never have. I'm new here, so I'm not up on all the "first 13" etiquette, but I'm inclined to believe the first 13 lines should be able to stand on their own, without any kind of introduction or "bringing up to speed."

If I need to know about virtual drugs, or anything else, to appreciate the first 13, then why isn't that info included in the story itself? I'd much rather greet your first 13 right off the bat, no intro or comments at all - just as I would if I picked up your story for the first time as a finished book at my bedside. Even if I don't know what these "virtual drugs" are, I'll assume I'd find out upon further reading. The only time that's really a problem is when there are so many new terms thrown into the beginning that it's a tangled mess - doesn't sound like that in this case at all.

Otherwise... let's see. I felt kinda dumb for not knowing what the "recovery position" is. If it's a technical term the viewpoint character would know but the layman wouldn't, it needs a bit of 'splainin for us common folk, or just some rewording to avoid the technical term altogether.

Noticing the nice day outside threw me off as well. Is this kind of situation so mundane to the viewpoint character that he wishes he were somwehere else? If not, I doubt he'd really be stopping to smell the roses, as it were, at this point. Even if this is what you intended, the juxtaposition of the serious crime scene with loud and merry birdsong is so jarring as to be almost comic - I don't think that's what you're after.

The opening sentence sounded intriguing, and made me curious to learn more about what happened. This is a good way to start. If you eliminate the "nice day" stuff, maybe cut out some extra wording and ornamentation ("crumpled awkwardly" for example, where "crumpled" would suffice), you'd clear enough room in your first 13 for even more compelling narrative.