“What’s happening? Where am I? I can’t see anything. I can’t hear anything. I can’t even feel anything. Was I in an accident? Yes, yes I think I was. Maybe this is a dream then. But if it’s a dream, how can I think so clearly? I guess I must have died. Strange, I always imagined more. Or did I? All I can do is think, but I can’t remember anything that happened to me before now. My memory’s clear, I can still remember the histories of Earth, our scientific achievements, our advanced mathematics, everything. But no memory of me. Is that what happens when you die? Your mind goes blank? I wonder what the point to living was. All I have is useless information. And that might fade some day too. Then I’ll be completely alone. Just my general feelings. I don’t think those will change, though. I hate this and that’ll probably never change. Even if I go insane it won’t matter. Not like I can do anything out of the ordinary. No point to insanity if you can’t even act it out. Not even against myself! I wish I at least had my memories to keep me comfort. Instead I’ve just got emptiness. Perfect silence. Perfect darkness. The perfect invalid. I wonder why people seek perfection at all now. It’s just a lot of pain. Well, not even that really. I wish I could feel pain. Just a tingle. Enough to tell me this is real and help me accept it. It’s like a bad dream. With no obvious end or beginning. Why couldn’t there just be an end?

Note from Kathleen:

Please keep postings of story text down to the first thirteen lines.

Thank you.

I also think that you should explain the loss of memory more clearly (STM or LTM, just explain).

Also, the first few sentences could be all summed up in a few words, I think these openers (the most important part!) are weak and restated too much.