posted
I've got a 1,100 word story. A cute horror story. (If only that were an actual genre.) I'm playing with how much I can do with just dialogue and very little description.
The first thirteen lines on the wordprocessor ---
Todd jogged across the campus quad. He made a beeline for the only woman he was interested in and flung himself the bench next to her. “Look what I’ve got.” Todd held a small white bag out to Megan. “Chocolate covered pretzels!” “Sweet and salty, your favorite, right?” “You do know how to treat a girl well.” “Only those that I love.” She reached out to touch his hand. “You’re so sweet.” “Sweet enough to meet your mom?” “No.” “Wow…” “I didn’t mean it that way.” Her brow creased and she stared at the ground. “It’s just too difficult.” “Difficult? Megan- you live with your mom, five minutes from campus. How hard can it be?”
posted
Well, since I've already read a tithe of the story, I could read the rest. But it better not be the butler that did it Posts: 8322 | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
It's the cutest horror story I've read in a long time. I do think that you could amp up the verbal confusion a bit in order to make it more clear that Megan is (for various reasons) simply unable to clear things up...but probably going into her POV is necessary for some readers.
That would cut back on the cuteness factor, though.
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