Matthew stood behind the tool shed, looking up at the moon. It was full and bright and cast a pale shadow of him across the splintering side of the shed. Around it a veil of stars, some milky some silver-cold glimmered against the black blanket of the sky.
The sight still amazed him. When he was little and lived in the city with his parents, the street lights had been too bright to really see the stars and even the moon was paled by their glow. Well that wasn’t really right; the individual lamps and lights themselves weren’t that bright, but there were so many of them, together their small glows grew together into a single glimmering mass.
His stomach knotted when he thought of his parents. Gone

Version 2

Matthew stood behind the old tool shed, looking up at the moon. It was full and bright and cast a pale shadow of him across the splintering side of the shed. Around it a veil of stars, some milky some silver-cold glimmered against the black blanket of the sky.
The sight still amazed him. When he was little and lived in the city with his parents, the street lights had been too bright to really see the stars and even the moon was paled by their glow.
His stomach knotted when he thought of his parents. Gone now. Dead. And he hadn’t even seen them for months before it happened.
Matt tore his eyes away from the sky and slowly, timidly

I think you have a POV issue with this: "cast a pale shadow of him across the splintering side of the shed" How could he see this if he's looking up at the moon?

This part didnt really add anything for me: "Well that wasn’t really right; the individual lamps and lights themselves weren’t that bright, but there were so many of them, together their small glows grew together into a single glimmering mass."

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I like the second version. Your writing is clean and immediately immerses me in the setting. As for the comment that you need to have something happen quick, I think that that shows the flaw of the "first thirteen" rule. Very few readers are so impatient that they have to have to be "hooked" by the opening lines, and by that I mean have some BIG EVENT to catapult them into the story.(Not that that's always a bad thing*I like what you've done here. I like your voice. You put me right into the scene. That, to me, is more important than any "hook".

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It IS a hook, at least for you.

Your right that most actual readers aren't going to make a decision as to read on or not within just a few lines. However the philosphy about first 13s and "hooks" you find here on Hatrack has to do with editors and slush readers more than regular readers. Some...not all mind but some...slush readers/editors will choose not to continue reading a manuscript if they arent "hooked" or compelled by those first couple of paragraphs. The trick though is what constitutes a "hook" is going to be different for each person (slush readers/editors included.)

Just a few nits/preferences in order of bugged-me factor:
- “before it happened” – the nebulous “it”. Maybe before the funeral? The crash? The accident?
- some milky and some silver-cold (or use commas)
- “the street lights had been too bright to really see the stars and even the moon was paled by their glow” first time through I thought the moon was paled by the stars’ glow. A comma after stars would fix it.
You could leave out the second mention of moon and stars and just say night sky (I’m not convinced that’s a good idea).
- He "tore" his eyes away sounds so active, counter to his slow and timid movement coming up. A less forceful verb might fit the mood better.
- “cast a pale shadow … across the splintering side of the shed” Are the other sides not splintered? It seems like calling attention to a particular side. Suggest: across the shed’s splintered side (I know, same thing but for some reason I like it better) or across the splintered/splintering shed? (Very minor nit.)

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You made my point better than I did. I don't have any problems with the first thirteen rule. I totally get it. I just don't think it's realistic to think that someone picks up a book, reads the first thirteen and says, "Nah."

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The 13 lines is not about hooking a reader. It is about hooking an editor/publisher. Authors do NOT (in general) sell their stories directly to the public. They sell to publishing houses or editors of magazines, and that is the audience they need to target. Readers buy novels based on much more than the first 13 - they have cover, back page teaser, and the chance to dip in to any point of the text if they wish. Publishers/editors do not have these things. They have your words.

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One of the first questions to consider is "Why are you starting at this point?"

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Because this is the point at which the story starts in my mind. There is an "inciting event" very soon after this (he sees someone fall from the sky) but for various reasons it did not feel apropriate to me to start immediately with that. I wished to establish a context for what was happening, and mood/atmosphere first.

Obviously, many were drawn in by that alone. Some not. Its just a matter of taste, so either way you do it, your not going to escape some liking it and some not, so instead of worrying I write whats in my head.

I realize you probably didn't intend the question to be answered but I prefer people to answer my questions and I prefer to do to others as I prefer to have done to me, so I answer.

Thanks for commenting. Edit: Just for the record, this isn't me not appreciating your input. Its just me honestly responding to your honest response.