However, in this forum we talk as writer to writer, and I have to say that you worry me a little. Not because you called me the "greatest writer" - what kind of bonehead wouldn't enjoy hearing something like that now and again? <grin> - but because you said that you wanted to be able to write like me.

Now, I've been saying for years that there are two motives to begin writing stories. One is what you just expressed: I loved that story so much that I want to write like that! The other is: If junk like that can get published, it's a sure bet >I< can be a writer!

Perhaps it won't really surprise you when I point out that the second motive is the more useful one. That first motive sets you up to be derivative, but more important, it means you'll constantly be measuring you work against an impossible standard. Not because the writer you admire can never be surpassed, but because your ATTITUDE toward that writer's work makes it impossible for you ever to realize when your own work is as good or better!

The second motive, on the other hand, while it might tempt you to become a sneering oaf about other writers' work (which can be a fun sport in itself, but doesn't get much work done), will give you the confidence to put your work before the public even though you know it's not perfect. Why? Because you're comparing your writing to pretty lousy stuff, so you can meet that standard and pass it and KNOW you've passed it pretty easily. <grin>

Truth is, every writer has both motives. If you didn't love at least some of the stories you read, why in the world would you want to be a writer? And if you weren't aware that some published stories are kind of lousy, you wouldn't be so happy when you find the ones you like.

The thing is, "Children of the Mind" moved you, not because I wrote it all that well (though I'd like to think I didn't interfere too much) but because you felt so much resonance with the story as told that you supplied what the cold text can NEVER supply - the feeling! The power! That cames as much from you as from me. All storytelling is a collaboration between storyteller and audience, because the canvas on which the storyteller paints is the memory of the listener. You generously gave Ender Wiggin an important place in your memory, and that meant you were willing to overlook the many flaws in my storytelling.

That's all that any of us are looking for - a chance to tell the stories we care about and believe in as clearly as we can, so that IF there are any readers out there who will care about the same stories, they'll be able to realize that this is, in fact, the kind of story they want to read. If we're lucky, we can find a few stories, a few characters, that resonate with enough readers that we can make a decent living from writing. Less lucky, and we get a few things published but not often enough to live on what we earn. Really unlucky, and NOBODY ever likes our stories. Doesn't mean we're bad at it.

But, of course, we ARE bad at it - at least in the sense that we never write "perfectly." In fact, perfection in the sense of making no errors or achieving some ideal level of writing is not even worth trying for. Life's too short to waste any of it reaching for unreachable standards that no one has ever met or ever can. All we need to reach for is doing the best we know how to do with the story we want to tell.

That's all I did with Children of the Mind. Heck, you should hear my publisher, as he worried that by having Bean die in the midst of the Shadow series, I'd end up getting low sales like Children of the Mind <grin>. But what I did was tell the story I cared about and believed in. It worked for you - for a lot of readers, it sure didn't. I'm doing the best I can with the Shadow books, too, and all the other things I write, and sometimes a lot of people like it, and sometimes only a few. But I'm just as proud of (and just as embarrassed by) the good aspects (and the flaws) in the stories that sell well as the stories that don't have that large an audience.

So ... I'm glad that, at the end of reading Children of the Mind, it made you feel powerful emotions, including a strong desire to tell your own stories to others. Do it! But don't even THINK of trying to write "like me." Because when it comes to writing YOUR stories, I'd be lousy. I'm only good at writing mine. And the only person who'll be brilliant at writing YOUR stories is you. You're the author. You're the AUTHORITY on what your stories should be. Nobody else knows.

Meanwhile, though, I'll take any applause I can get. The old actor in me just can't resist an ovation <grin>.

- osc

Thank you for taking your time to respond to me. I appreciate your comments. First allow me to apologize for posting this in the wrong forum... I have just recently begun to learn how to navigate through these forums. My comments on wanting to write like you were not meant to be taken as wanting to write YOUR stories... just as that I want my stories to someday make people feel my characters as strongly as I have felt yours. As a writer, I become very involved with the stories I write. I become part of the lives of these characters. They become a part of mine. I create them, I learn from them, I teach them... and sometimes I watch them die, just as sometimes I watch them live. I love that of writing best, I think, that the stories I make become a fictitious person's life. I do not have a lot of confidence in my writing, but I know that I have a passion for it and I do it well. I want to make people live with my characters as much as I live with them, as much as I live with yours, Sir. Your transitions from character to character are brilliant, and although I know you will say that that is not the attitude I need, it is true. I think that great work goes less noticed, these days. Not that I am one to recognize great work, but that I wish to be a writer of great work.
I found that the last two books in the Ender series were not as moving as Ender's Game and Speaker, but the part that brought tears to my eyes was seeing the tale of Ender... well... end. I know that my praise to you may seem like useless fan-babble, but in truth, I want to know how you managed to end the 4-part story. From Game to Speaker, you carried Ender with you, beginning from the concept of the Battle Room, and over the years it took to generate the story, it seemed as though you had the ending planned from the start. If I were writing the story of Ender, I don't know if I would have the heart to let him die. I would feel like I had killed a part of myself.
I know you are very busy, and I know that it you have better things to do than coach an amature, but I would truly appreciate a reply. If it is more convenient for you, you may email me at rinavalheart@hotmail.com. I would greatly appreciate hearing from you, because what I have always desired to do is LEARN. Learn how to better myself. I started writing at the age of 6. It has been my passio ever since. I hope to hear from you soon.

With appreciation and respect,
Rina Valheart

I know how busy you must be, and I understand how rare it is that you respond to posts. I have a meeting with a president of a newspaper that I wish t get involved in, and she just loves you. If it would be possible for me to ask you some questions, I would really like to. I think it would help me alot, both with the newspaper and with my personal feelings. Please note that under no circumstances will it ever be printed or released. Thank you.

I really wish I hadnt read Orson's reply
because now I KNOW Bean dies =(((

I was hoping something would save him
but no

"you should hear my publisher, as he worried that by having Bean die in the midst of the Shadow series, I'd end up getting low sales like Children of the Mind"

=(

Dont worry I will still buy the books!

I'm glad that I have found the precious few stories that I love so much, one of them being in the Ender saga. A lot of people like to remark about the brilliance of Ender, but I found his isolation and all that was expected of him despite his trials to be quite moving. It was so much to ask of a character, and that's why I loved him (my own personal character flaws were erased for a short time as I read. I actually wanted to be like him, trials and all, if you can believe that).

I am a shamefully slow reader, but I must let you know that _Ender's Game_ is the only book that I have ever read in one sitting. In fact, every book since in the saga has taken me only a couple of days, which for most is nothing, but for me (the two week reader) is amazing. But then I tend to get past the first chapter of a book I don't like, remain patient until about half way, then stop all together.

I don't apologize for savoring my reading.

Still, I could not wait to read this through, so I have made up for it by reading it again and again. This may equate to be my "first love" of stories, and I shall never have another quite like it. Thank you for keeping it alive, as I will always have something to look forward to.

Like I didnt see it coming. Especially after Hegemon. Too bad though, I grew to like him more so than Ender (maybe due to his initial feelings towards Ender...)

Oh, and while people are praising OSC...I might as well. Who cares if it gets responded to:

I am a fan of most of your books, I am reading a few of them right now (I cant say I am really "down" with some of the more religious stuff, but thats just my view, and its not my taste in literature ). I have one comment about Ender Shadow, specifically one part of it: While Bean is with Ender that night sleeping at the foot of his bed...Beans thought process stops referring to "Wiggin" as "Wiggin" and it makes a switch over to "Ender" where it stays for the rest of the novel. I found it strange for a second becuase the change was noticable...and I looked back at the paragraph I noticed that change and realized what it meant. That is my single favorite moment in almost any book I have ever read...it just worked. Intentionally in the book or not, that was something which I appreciated on a most profound level.

Most people dont know what I am talking about I assume...maybe no one does....but, it was there, and it was simply...cool.

Who knows how to contact authors by the way!! Some love the attention, some hide, some do both.