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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Books » The Last Redoubt : Sci-fi romance/space opera/AU. ~55k written.

   
Author Topic: The Last Redoubt : Sci-fi romance/space opera/AU. ~55k written.
piratequeen65
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summary:
Neeva Quirke continues to search for the truth behind her parent's deaths. An ill planned trip to the central planet of Jenu lands her in the middle of a government conspiracy. In the space of 24 hours she's kidnapped, rescued, and bombed. All without coffee. She's running for her life. Doesn't know who is on her side, who she can trust and is generally out of sorts. Jax Cadawalder a self-avowed wastrel is about to have to decide what he stands for and whose side he is on. And there’s a stowaway.


I'd just like to hear what you all think. If anyone is up for reading what I've got so far ~ 55k or so. Probably 2/3 through. Let me know. I'm pretty new to this.
Thanks in advance.

First 13 of the short prologue:
Neeva couldn't hear Tosh over the pounding roar of music and crush of bodies in The Rover tonight. It was going to be difficult enough to spot her mark in this crowd, now she had to worry about him tagging along. He had come here when she had specifically told him to stay away. Her back was to him--on purpose--so she couldn't see the disapproving look in his eyes. Although, with the state he was in, maybe he would let her take care of this her way tonight.

Tosh grabbed at her shoulder, trying to get her to turn around and listen to him, she shrugged it off almost unseating herself from her spot in the process. "Leave me alone Tosh." What a nightmare, to end up on that floor? It probably sustained its own nasty ecosystem. The place was an incredible dive, but her

[ February 17, 2012, 11:35 PM: Message edited by: Kathleen Dalton Woodbury ]

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piratequeen65
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a quick note. I wasn't paying attention and originally posted in the short works area. A very nice person nudged me here as well as mentioning "The Night Land" by William Hope Hodgson, 1912. This quote is from the novel: "I stood in one of the embrasures of the Last Redoubt—that great Pyramid of grey metal which held the last millions of this world from the Powers of the Slayers." I haven't read this. But--I think what I am working on meshes very well. Kind of crazy. No slayers though. Just creeps.
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History
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"A very nice person."
Hmmpf.
The girls used to tell me that as a reason for not going out with me. [Wink]
I learned to be rotten, got the girl, then became nice again.

THE NIGHT LAND by William Hope Hodgson is a must-read fantasy classic, although a tough read for most because of its archaic style. My author friend James Stoddard recently published a modern revision that I need recommend: http://www.amazon.com/Night-Land-Story-Retold/dp/0615508812/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329533397&sr=8-1

Best of luck with your novel.

Respectfully,
Dr. Bob

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piratequeen65
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thanks for the link--it sounds really good.
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