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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Books » The Prophecy of Merv critique swap

   
Author Topic: The Prophecy of Merv critique swap
henriksen.laura
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It is important to note now, at the very beginning of my tale, that there was nothing mysterious about Mervís origins. He was born to a farmer whose greatest distinction was his ability to pop his arm in and out of its socket. Merv had no distant relatives who might secretly be royalty. He grew up as neither a charismatic leader nor a tragic outcast. Not a single traveler approached him with a quest, and his parents died naturally of unromantic lingering illnesses.

The prophecies mentioned in this story are not about Merv: he didnít have the White Sword, he didnít have the Fire Mark and he didnít look a thing like the deceased king and queen of Delior, may God rest their souls. What he did look like was a broad shouldered man whose hands were never entirely clean, whose hair


If anyone is interested in doing a critique swap, please e-mail me your first chapter. If I like yours and you like mine, then we'll start a regular exchange.

I'm looking for a broad idea commentary rather than a small detail copy editing commentary. I'm still in the early phase of the book.
Best,
Laura
henriksen.laura@yahoo.com

[ April 20, 2012, 06:50 PM: Message edited by: Kathleen Dalton Woodbury ]

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enigmaticuser
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Dang, I haven't done a swap in awhile. But this is an intriguing opening. It looks like something written by someone who looks at certain fantasy conventions and says "What, again?" I likes the sound a lot.

If broad commentary is what you're looking for, I'll pop you and email.

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