As the Sheriff of Garfield County, Carl Harass was used to settling disputes with angry neighbors, but he never thought he would have to deal with an 'honest-to-God' spaceship sitting behind Jerry Werner's place. His new deputy, sitting in the patrol car with a glazed stare, looked ready to pee his pants and the radio was still out. Even if he could reach the next county, it would take them an hour to drive here. He'd have to handle this one alone. "Jimmy, you stay here and radio for help if you can, got it? I'm going to see what trouble our local hippie has gotten into now." Stepping from car, he checked his gun as he walked up the driveway to confront the group. He saw one seven-foot, blue-furred alien slapping a panel on the ship, while Jerry, looking
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited April 22, 2008).]
Jimmy and Carl came out the backdoor. Jimmy blinked to clear his eyes. California had coastal haze, Garfield County had Werner Fog. Neither were natural and Jimmy was feeling a bit odd. “Oh god!” Jimmy said, staring at the huge silver spaceship. “That’s a spaceship.” Carl looked at him. “I see nothing.” “Nothing?” Jimmy looked back at the huge spaceship. No one could miss it, but then again he had just been in Werner Fog. Jerry Werner himself swayed slightly staring at the ship. Which adult did Jimmy care to be compared with? “Oh yeah, it is just the…” he saw the smashed outhouse. “The outhouse, not a spaceship.” Posts: 3072 | Registered: Dec 2007
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“I mean it, Jimmy, don’t feed me this horse ****.” I winced, and thought about repeating myself - but I needed this job. It didn't matter that I had seen the thing – and it could only be a flying saucer – with my own eyes. My mouth seemed to open of its own accord, and out came: “Yessir.” “Atta boy, Jim. Now you just go tell that ‘ol hippy that he needs to be a little less peaceable with the special incense, or I’ll be visitin’ him with a warrant, and it won’t be at all friendly-like.” The Sherriff saw me out the door, and I found myself staring back in. I couldn’t help it; after all, seen in the window’s reflection was a distant, but very visible, plume of neon yellow smoke. Topped, as though the smoke were caught in glass, with a shape that was a perfect pyramid.
It wasn’t easy to call attention to yourself in Brusset these days, but the two men shopping in Marla’s General Store were making a good effort. Whispering and elbowing each other, they scurried from one aisle to the next, pushing snack foods and first aid items into their basket with what appeared to be a policeman’s nightstick. Marla shook her head and lowered one hand to the .45 under her counter. You couldn't be too careful with drug addicts. She forgot to pull her gun when the men screamed and dropped to the floor, but not because their antics surprised her. She would've sworn she heard a metallic voice boom from their stick: “Stupid! You idiots will be punished again!” After that it got too dark to aim. Posts: 3072 | Registered: Dec 2007
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Tinwilz snaked his arm into the compartment. He struggled to feel in every hidden corner and nitch. All the time he could feel Bannepin’s eyes singeing the blue fur on his back. “Can’t find it, can you?” She said in her ‘you should have listen to me’ tone. He glanced back at her, she bounced her leg on her knee with her arms crossed, intertwined like a pretzel. “Come on, Bannie. Don’t make this any worse than it already is.” “No homing signal, power, or rad-suit. How could it get worse?” A hollow rapping sounded on the hull. One of the local creatures pounded on the hatch. Tinwilz punched the translator.
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited April 22, 2008).]
posted
Entry 6 Title: The Delicious Taste of Plastic
"I am God!" Jerry said staring at his reflection in the knife. His wide eyes were glorious and his face was stretched with creases. He flashed himself a ridiculously huge smile and then resumed his chopping, muttering to himself. "Oh they said they would... and they did... they would... but they didn't... here; they're here; and the time has come. Oh yes it has..." He felt his stomach rumble as the scent of steamy flesh tickled his nose. He stopped cutting and began carefully inserting the diced bits of blue alien into the boiling pot, one piece at a time. He topped it off with some spices, peppers, and squirted in some mustard and gasoline, including the plastic containers. He began singing to himself like he was some kind of Swedish chef as he reached for more alien guts. He had achieved nirvana. Nothing mattered anymore. He could do whatever he wanted.
[This message has been edited by snapper (edited April 21, 2008).]
Bannepin riffled through the dog-eared copy of Hobartz Galactic Flora and Fauna that Tinwliz kept on board. "I'm telling you, there's nothing in here about these primatives!" Tinwliz gurgled dismissively. “Meaningless. The rules with inferiors are all the same – appeal to their underdeveloped ideological needs.” Bannepin set the book down with a thud. “I’m sorry, what?” Tinwliz smirked. “I have been cross correlating their mass media broadcasts. These Terrans have a mass delusion of an benevolent deity, but lack physical substantiation of its existence.” Bannepin rested her head in her long, slender hands and sighed. “This, again?”
[This message has been edited by snapper (edited April 21, 2008).]
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited April 22, 2008).]
posted
Entry 8 Title: Take a Deep Cosmic Breath, Man
"We both know that I will not allow you on my property without a warrant, Jimmy," said Jerry looking over the scrawny pimple-faced deputy. "Save it for the freedom fight," Jimmy said. Trembling, he drew his gun which looked absurdly out of place in his frail, sweating hand. "Whoa, man, there will be no violence here." Jerry put his hands up in the air, mocking him. "Turn around,Ghandi, we are going to see whatever the hell that was that landed. We both know, that was no plane," said Jimmy. His smirk and disregard for Jerry's civic rights invoked the first tingle of anger. Jerry centered himself, took a deep breath and turned. He wanted to see the aliens too. He had a feeling they would come.
Leave it to the Beavians to destroy a world by accident.Those tall blue anthropoids are the reason We convene this session. Commander Keen denied the Beavians the brain evolution necessary to develop a civilization capable of space flight. He gave the Beavians the technology before they were ready for it. Leading, of course, to the "Leave Undeveloped Civilizations to Them Selves" ideology currently voted on by the Galactic Inspectors and Ruling Leadership Staff. (Vote yes on proposition 37!) Earth was regularly monitored, of course, but the blue planet was a no fly zone because of those primitive Human's fight or flight instinct. Only the Beavians would cross that ozone line, and I believe it was by accident. They landed in America, after all. No civilized being would travel to America on purpose.
[This message has been edited by snapper (edited April 21, 2008).]
In the time it took Jerry Werner to fully open his front door, he came to the realization it wasn't the fact the tall humanoid creatures on his front porch were covered in blue fur and had limbs bent in multiple directions that he found particularly odd. No, as he stood in the open doorway with a scent of incense wafting out into the cool mountain air, he decided it was the way they bickered and yelled at each other in a language he couldn't understand that made him uneasy.
Jerry didn't consider himself an expert on extraterrestrials. From science-fiction movies he knew aliens lived together in peace and harmony - a concept he adored. Jerry's life goal was to attain peace with the universe. So how dare these arguing aliens knock on his door and seriously mess with his karma. Posts: 3072 | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
Entry 11 Title: Moving Violations and the Invasion of Earth
Jimmy watched a flaming mountain of metal streak across the dark Montana sky. Carl dozed next to him in the drivers seat of the squad car. "Uh, Carl, sir," Jimmy said quietly. Then, a little more urgently, "Sheriff, pardon me sir, but theres a--" Carl jerked his head up, "What? I'm awake!" he croaked. Jimmy was pointing out the windshield. "Damn, thats something, aint it," Carl said, finally noticing the light show. "Should we... do something?" Jimmy said, without looking at Carl. "Jimmy, I think we both know what we're looking at here, and I, for one, am not about to let the Russians land a damn flying saucer in my jurisdiction."
Jimmy Greene knew there were two ways to inveigle Sheriff Harrass to give him the keys to the cruiser. One way was to mock the Democrats in Washington; the other was to buy him lunch. Since Jimmy had just received his license last month, he took no chances - he did both. And it paid off. Jimmy had the wheel of the ’99 Crown Victoria, while Harrass rested his arm on the window sill. His hand was outstretched, oscillating up and down with the outside air. “Hey kid, careful.” Harrass smiled as he rubbed his horseshoe moustache. “You’re gonna rip the wheel off with those bony hands of yours.” Jimmy loosened his grip just as he noticed a thick, black trail of smoke streaking across the sky.
Tinwilz spared a quick glance at his friend. The dumb bastard stood there all scared, an eight-foot wall of blue shag, his fur hanging in dreadlocks. Ugly even for our race. Tinwilz managed a half-smile. “We always do, Bannie. Radial Power’s down, but as long as the outer ring keeps spinning-”
The G-ring slammed to a halt, sweeping Bannepin from his feet. The inner shell of the saucer reversed direction. Frantically, Tinwilz fought for command of the ship spiraling out of control. She was going down, and he couldn’t save her. There was only one thing left to do — limit the damage. Tinwilz Blue diverted all remaining power to the thrusters, life support included. Posts: 3072 | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
I suppose I'll need to be less verbose than is my usual habit.
1. Comme si, comme sa. There seems to be a lot of setting up the scene, rather than letting the characters act in the scene.
2. New award for Most Hilarious Line that probably wasn't intended to be Hilarious: “Oh god!” Jimmy said, staring at the huge silver spaceship. “That’s a spaceship.”
3. The smoke pyramid is kind of a hook here for me, but it took me a few reads through to really grasp what was going on.
4. I don't quite grasp how the title (directly referencing one of the aliens) ties in with this opening. Also, the POV choice you've selected for this opening seems to be a bit of a dead end, since she's been knocked out or otherwise incapacitated and I anticipate we'll be moving to another POV shortly..
5. I enjoy this POV, but I'm uncertain about the nicknames - seems a very human quality to have. No Vulcan ever referred to Spock as S-Dogg.
6. I find very little to be tasteful about this scene, and the character of Jerry seems to be horribly distorted from the outline we were given. That might be the whole point, but to an outside reader who isn't supposed to know Jerry's character when they start reading, this could be a big honkin' turnoff.
7. Another enjoyable POV - but there seems to be a drastically different voice between the aliens, like one actually is an alien, and one is a hollywood-standard smart mouthed sidekick in a blue fur suit.
8. There seems to be a lot of artificially generated conflict here - I don't get the sense that these characters are acting realistically.
9. I like this take on the narrative - it's actually close to the second idea I had. I never would have picked these aliens for the type of bumblers depicted here, and it's kind of refreshing.
10. This is good - but cut to the chase a bit. This could use a trip through Oliverhouse's cutting machine.
11. I'm a little lukewarm on this one. We get a bit of characterization, but nothing I'm terribly interested in.
12. I didn't think it was possible to become more lukewarm about a story, but I think it has happened. This is like put-his-hand-in-it-while-he-sleeps kind of lukewarm. Also - inveigle? Seriously? Drop the thesaurus and put your hands up son.
13. I have the same impression of the alien nicknames here as I did up above, but the technology included (rotating rings to create locomotion? Awesome!) hooked me into this.
My votes.
1st - Entry 13: Blue's Crew 2nd - Entry 9: Beavians and Butt heads 3rd - Entry 5: Road Side Assistance Title - Jerry Makes a New Friend (sometimes simple and to the point works)
posted
entry 1: Introduces situation well. A lot of characters are brought in, hard to care about any one of them in particular
entry 2: I like this title. "Werner fog" not explained until several sentences in. This one is funny, and funny is a hook.
entry 3: another good title. I like the dialogue and conflict between deputy and sheriff. "the door" part confused about location/setting.
entry 4: Good detailed scene. Conflict, tension, and weird stuff. I think I would read on.
entry 5: another good title (you are all so clever!) Fun situation, well communicated through dialogue. I'd probably read on.
entry 6: This is well written, but kinda gross. I don't know what to think of Jerry, other than he seems to be insane, which isn't terribly interesting.
entry 7: The name of the guide book is a great detail. It's fun to think of the "alien as god" rationale from the aliens POV>
entry 8: this scene feels like it needed a little more set up. Where is it taking place?
entry 9: I love puns. Whether they should be story titles, I don't know. I really like the idea for this opening, but it should still try to show, not tell.
entry 10: I like the detail of the bickering aliens and Jerry observing that. But actually putting us in that scene, rather than only describing would be better.
entry 11. This is a nice scene -- small town cops, sleeping. Carl's insistence of Russians -- funny. entry 12: Good characterization Jimmy, but too much time on this detail. No conflict. We need to know more about the smoke -- that entry 13: Danger is a hook, if we have some investment in the character. This one has just enough description of the Bannie and Tinwilz to make us care. 1st: 13 2nd: 7 3rd: 4 title: The Delicious taste of plastic
posted
Just got this one. a little late but still a quality piece
Title: Planet Earth Exit -- No Services
"And a dozen Hershey Bars." Jerry recalculated. "No -- 16." Cowbells clanged as the door opened, and he turned to see Sheriff Carl filling the Snowline Moto-Mart & Kosher Deli's entrance. "Picking up dinner, Jerry?" The Sheriff's shades glowed copper-green in the light of the setting sun. Jerry clutched his organic-hemp Eco-tote and siddled toward the exit. He'd promised his guests he'd be back by sunset and had no time to jawbone with Carl. "Yeah. I mean -- not dinner -- just -- things." Things like rubber dishwashing gloves, bar-b-que tongs, and 5 lbs of pastrami. He remembered his praniamic breathing. Clear mind. Still water reflecting cloudness sky. "We gotta report," Carl said. "You seen anything unusual like, back up in the woods there by your cabin?"
posted
Best Title - Take a Cosmic Breath, Man (unique title, giving the reader a flavor of the story - and a hook - right from the get-go).
Favorite 1 - Entry 7 - Exercises in Ethos Favorite 2 - Entry 4 - Tinwilz' Shortcut Favorite 3 - Entry 11 - Moving Violations and the Invasion of Earth
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Entry 1- Wrong Turn to Nowhere: This one was just okay for me. A couple of grammar items, or awkward sentences. The characters are well-introduced and the situation is clear.
Entry 2 - The Deputy's New Spaceship: This into seemed a bit repetitive for me. "Spaceship" used 4x, Werner Fog 2x, outhouse 2x. Also, there is a lot of description between "'Nothing?' Jimmy . . ." and next dialogue, which creates a large pause in the comments from Jimmy. Overall, the writing is decent.
Entry 3 - Fueling Galactic Relations: I like the imagery of the flying saucer and the smoke. Dialogue is pretty good. Some sentences a little awkward (for example, 2nd sentence: "I winced..."). Overall, a little bit of a hook.
Entry 4 - Tinwilz' Shortcut: Pretty good hook and I'd keep on reading. Great first sentence, draws me in. "boom from their stick" - not sure what that means. Room going dark = makes me want to keep on reading... Best one so far...
Entry 5 - Road Side Assistance: If I didn't know the premise, I wouldn't understand this intro. I like the story from Tinwilz's point of view. A fresh perspective. Writing is decent.
Entry 6 - The Delicious Taste of Plastic: Okay, that is just weird... I say that, not having tried it myself, so maybe I shouldn't knock it until I tried it... The hook element seems to be missing, although I am a little morbidly curious what is up with Jerry and his insane dietary habits.
Entry 7 - Exercises in Ethos: Nice Job. Truly in the style this story was supposed to be written. A Douglas Adams flare to it. This is a little verbose for the type of reader that would read this story. I'll still put it in the number 1 slot so far...
Entry 8 - Take a Cosmic Breath, Man: Good hook. I'd keep on reading. Good pace and descriptions. Jimmy tries to play the tough guy, but isn't successful. Jerry is frightened, because no one likes a guy trying to be tough with an itchy trigger finger.
Entry 9 - Beavians and Butt heads: Nice title You get points for uniqueness, but the reader is so distant from the action, it gets slow pretty quick for me.
Entry 10 - Jerry Makes a New Friend: Made me smile at the end. Pretty decent and I'd keep on reading. I'll have to reread these to pick my top 3.
Entry 11 - Moving Violations and the Invasion of Earth: I like the comment about the Russians. Gives you a good picture of the Sheriff. Are the skipping of apostrophes intentional? I just finished a book that didnt use them (Blood Meridian). Overall, I like it.
Entry 13 - Blue's Crew: I like the POV and the place you start. Initial impressions would be that this is a fun read. Overall, pretty good.
Very interesting way to introduce the aliens and Jerry in a very hooky way.
Entry 3
I like the relationship between Jimmy and Carl that is created here, as well as the hook of mentioning the spaceship.
Entry 4
This start would have intrigued me and would have made me read on. It made me think of Mars Attacks when the alien pretending to be a woman with a beehive.
First Pick: Entry 13: Blue’s Crew Second Pick: Entry 4: Tinwliz’ Shortcut Third Pick: Entry 7: Exercises in Ethos
Best Title: Entry 11: Moving Violations and the Invasion of Earth
Entry 1: Wrong Turn to Nowhere Well written, but too much too soon. It’s a whole plot crammed into 13 lines. No compelling hook, but because it flows well, I’d probably keep going to see if something interesting will happen soon.
Entry 2: The Deputy’s New Spaceship If I didn’t know the synopsis ahead of time, I’d have a hard time figuring out what’s happening in the first 4 sentences. Jerry is sort of dropped into the scene. There’s potential, but action needs to be clearer.
Entry 3: Fueling Galactic Relations I like the dialogue. I can’t quite picture the window/smoke/pyramid, but it’s intriguing enough that I’d continue reading.
Entry 4: Tinwliz’ Shortcut Great opening line. The first and second paragraph don’t seem to be connected – feels like I missed something. Effective hook.
Entry 5: Road Side Assistance A bunch of spelling/grammar issues. If those were corrected, this would be very interesting – I like the portrayal of the aliens. The pot/twinkies/Dead feels forced (okay, a hippie, we get it).
Entry 6: The Delicious Taste of Plastic Whoa, random. Maybe a bit too random. This makes no sense. Actually, deleting the first paragraph would make this a lot stronger. It’s weird, but the prose is good enough that you could make ‘weird’ work. Not sure if I’d continue reading, though...
Entry 7: Exercises in Ethos The structure is a bit odd. Every line is: ACTION. “DIALOGUE”. But the idea is good, and the hook is there.
Entry 8: Take a Deep Cosmic Breath, Man I loved the line “Turn around, Ghandi.” Nothing apparently wrong with this, it just doesn’t grab me. I’m not sure why. Maybe a tighter POV inside Jerry’s head would help?
Entry 9: Beavians and Butt heads Info-dump alert! I recognize that’s probably the intent, but it does feel a bit like being tossed in the ocean. But based on the idea and the writing quality, I would continue reading.
Entry 10: Jerry Makes a New Friend Some long sentences, but it’s mostly clear. An interesting hook, but I’m anxious to get more into Jerry’s thoughts and the sensory details of the scene.
Entry 11: Moving Violations and the Invasion of Earth The pacing is too slow, and there’s nothing hooky about a sheriff and deputy seeing a flying saucer. Dialogue is okay, and reads “real”.
Entry 12: The Bevian's Pawn Inveigle??? This also suffers from slow pacing. Is Jimmy inveigling the keys a ‘key’ (sorry) part of the story to come? The prose is strong, and on that basis, I’d likely continue reading.
Entry 13: Blue’s Crew Well done. The “even for our race” takes me out of the story, but otherwise this is solid. And it’s hugely hooky – we’re right in the middle of a high-stakes situation, without being overwhelmed by too much action.
posted
I didn't vote because I didn't play, but here are my comments.
1. Cute. I like the humorous voice. The last bit falls a little flat to me.
2. It took me a while to get the CA haze/ Werner fog bit. Maybe because I'm a coastal Cali girl, and the haze has affected me, too. Also, the line "Which adult did Jimmy care to be compared with" threw me as well. But I like the voice.
3. The strength of this piece is in the interaction between Jimmy and the Sheriff. Very nice.
4. Funny. I'd read on. I thought the line "She forgot to pull..." was a bit awkward and long. By the time i got to the end the punch line had sort of lost some of its umph.
5. This is great--I like that it's in the alien's pov. Promises a funny satire piece.
6. I love the title on this one. And a murderous hippie--great! The only problem is it feels too complete. It doesn't feel like it's going anywhere. He's achieved what he wants.
7. This one, too, was funny. I'm a bit wary of the religious reference, but that's just me.
8. Love the title on this, too. There's weird POV shift in the opening lines, but I do like the interaction between the three men.
9. The set up was unusual, but it worked for me. It would, however, get old quickly. By the next page I'd like to see who's talking, why they're talking, etc.
10. A bit expository heavy for my taste, but I though it worked. There's a subtle humor in there that I like, and I like the parody on the sci fi genre.
11. The last line was great! I think the strength of this one is the characters and you do a good job of bringing them out.
12. Nice, smooth opening. No indication of a speculative element, but I'd probably read on.
13. Hey now, Bannepin is the ugly one? Okay, this opening is going _down_! I think it might have worked a little better if the creatures had an indication of where they were going. But it's still strong. I would read on.
[This message has been edited by annepin (edited April 26, 2008).]
6) Mirror trick, but with a knife...tut-tut.(cliche--mirror trick). Good--but disgusting. Title..OK.
7)Good--interesting. Title is something about working out in alcohol? Oh no, that's ethanol. Just kidding.
8)Title good. Prose: too much dialogue. Is this happening on the moon, in a cellar or on top of a church? Basically no scene-setting.
9) No.
10) No.
11) Better. Title no.
12) No.
It may sound kinda nasty to just say 'No', but it just means the neither the title nor the prose hooked me. I am afraid I don't have time for in-depth analysis, so I only commented on the ones that grabbed me in some way.
Votes:
Title: Take a Deep Cosmic Breath, Man
Pick 1: Entry 6 Title: The Delicious Taste of Plastic--despite the use of the mirror trick (in a minor way)
Pick 2: Entry 7 Title: Exercises in Ethos
Pick 3: Entry 5 Title: Road Side Assistance
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited April 26, 2008).]
Good title. Interesting that the sheriff is the competent hero in this one. Good but not hooked.
Entry 2 title: The Deputy’s New Spaceship
The title wasn’t for me but ‘werner fog’ was the best phrase in this challenge. I loved it. This was funny but it looked like the law spent a lot of time absorbing that fog. I’m a little hooked.
Entry 3 Title: Fueling Galactic Relations
I have to admit, I wasn’t thrilled when I first read this but it’s grown on me after I read it a couple of times. The title is one of my favorites and I must say that it is grabbing me.
Entry 4 Title: Tinwliz’ Shortcut
Very interesting. I think these are the aliens but aren’t they supposed to be seven feet tall? Good.
Entry 5 Title: Road Side Assistance
I see the 13 line cutting queen got to this one. Is ‘intertwined’ correct? Tough picturing it. I do like these two Beavians.
Entry 6 Title: The Delicious Taste of Plastic
Okay, this was just weird for me. If this was the last 13 lines instead of the first 13 this would win hands down. I can’t vote on it as the best opening because it doesn’t look like the opening to me.
Entry 7 Title: Exercises in Ethos
Not thrilled about the title but I really liked this one. Nice start, I’m hooked.
Entry 8 Title: Take a Deep Cosmic Breath, Man
This is good and a funny title. The major problem for me is I don’t know who’s POV this is.
Entry 9 Title: Beavians and Butt heads
Such a clever title. Bravo to you. Yes this is an info-dump but it goes to show you that info-dumps can work. I’m hooked.
Entry 10 Title: Jerry Makes a New Friend
I liked this opening. Jerry is such a likeable character. It captures my interest but not as much as a few others.
Entry 11 Title: Moving Violations and the Invasion of Earth
As the writer of this synopsis I am going to say this person captured what I had in mind to a tee. This one made me laugh out loud.
Entry 12 Title: The Bevian's Pawn
I going to confess that the author irritated me because I had to get the dictionary to look up ‘inveigle’. This was okay but I’m not hooked. I do like the title though.
Entry 13 Title: Blue’s Crew
A great place to start. Nice job and a good hook. Man is this going to be tough
Late entry Title: Planet Earth Exit -- No Services
Great prose, nice hook. It would have earned second place for me (Sorry Kathy)
Best title Beavians and Butt heads
First place Moving Violations and the Invasion of Earth
Second place Blue’s Crew
Third place Beavians and Butt heads (just beat out Exercises in Ethos)
A wonderful job by everyone! You guys should try writing for a living.
posted
these are my votes. Don't close it yet! Title take a cosmic breath man Entry 13 Blues crew Entry 5 Road side assistance Entry 11 Moving violations and the invasion of earth Good work everyone!
Posts: 1201 | Registered: Jan 2008
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Take a Deep Cosmic Breath, Man The Delicious Taste of Plastic
Here are the results
Entry 7 Exercises in Ethos by Wolfe_boy 17 points Entry 13 Blue’s Crew by Tiergan 14 points Entry 5 Road Side Assistance by Snapper 10 points Entry 4 Tinwliz’ Shortcut by Oblomova 9 points Entry 11 Moving Violations and the Invasion of Earth by Alliedfive 8 points Entry 3 Fueling Galactic Relations by Rheneil 7 points Entry 6 The Delicious Taste of Plastic by Doctor 5 points Entry 9 Beavians and Butt heads by Shimiqua 3 points Entry 10 Jerry Makes a New Friend by Jeff M 3 points Entry 1 Wrong Turn to Nowhere by Thibault 2 points and the rest Entry 2 The Deputy’s New Spaceship by Grant John Entry 8 Take a Deep Cosmic Breath, Man by Bent Tree Entry 12 The Bevian's Pawn by psnede Late Entry Planet Earth Exit -- No Services by Kathyton
[This message has been edited by snapper (edited April 28, 2008).]
posted
Wow, thanks guys. Pretty tight competition this week, and plenty of good entries. Time to submit again too! I've already got mine in for annepin's outline - anyone want to oust me? I shall endeavor to be the first two-time consecutive winner, and call all challengers!
posted
Actually wolfe_Boy, you would be the first 2-time Hook ever, which I thought I was going to be unitl the last vote. I had cut my hand off and everything in aniticipation for the other hook. But no, the last vote got me, and the better 13 line won. Congrats. I will give it go this week though. See if I can regain my formor glory.
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You get points for uniqueness, but the reader is so distant from the action, it gets slow pretty quick for me.
