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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Hypothetically, if there were a tarantula in your pants... (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Hypothetically, if there were a tarantula in your pants...
Olivet
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What would you do?

I mean, I would freak right the heck out, personally. I'd get it off me as soon as possible, then probably try to catch it, but the freaking out would be totally concurrent with these activities.

How about you? Just curious.

[ August 05, 2005, 12:35 PM: Message edited by: Olivet ]

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MandyM
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The very least, I would be pantless. Not just for a tarantula; any kind of spider would do. Personally those huge wolf spiders creep me out waaaaaay more than a tarantula would.

What kind of question is this anyway???

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Tante Shvester
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Politely excuse myself, remove my pants, shake out the tarantula, entrap it in a box, don my pants, and rejoin the group, having a show-and-tell with my new pet tarantula, Levi.
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rivka
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[ROFL]
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mackillian
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I would be Freaking Out and more than likely shouting expletives.

...and that's only if I didn't die of shock first.

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katharina
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Which part? In the pocket? Up from the leg? Someone dropped down down my front?

1. Pocket: Pants off, me jumping up and down on them, and then throwing them away.

2. Up from the leg: lots of dancing around, possibly shouting, probably running into a lake. There should be a lake. There's a tarantula in my pants - I had better be outside enjoying myself.

3. Someone dropped it down the front: lots of screaming, blood, and plots of revenge would ensue. None of them mine.

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The Pixiest
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Stop, Drop, N Roll?

Would the massive case of the willies I would get from tarantula guts smashed into my underclothing be any worse than the massive case of the willies I would have from having a giant spider in my pants?

I don't think I would want to touch it with my hands to get it off either (You know, unless I was mopping up it's ichor.)

I'm with Mandy though.. What kind of question is this??? (and why am I answering it?)

Pix

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rivka
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So who would be plotting, Katie? [Wink]

Oh, and if this is hypothetical, that "was" in the title ought to be "were." [/subjunctive police]

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Narnia
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I wouldn't be able to kill it...the feeling of 'squish and crunch' would be too much for me I think.

I also wouldn't be able to rip off my pants in public. I'd find a movie poster or something to hide behind (because of course this happened in a very realistic 3D version of a spider movie.)

[Smile]

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Olivet
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Okay, backstory:

I was chatting with mackillian, and she told me of a conversation she had with another Hatracker, who had been surprised by a tarantula crawling up inside her pants while she was on the computer.

Evidently this was a spider of significant size. She was not sanguine about it, but her fella shrugged it off with "It's just a spider."

This became a discussion topic, with some of our buddies asserting that they wouldn't freakout, while others claimed to be ready to die on the spot.

So I thought I'd see how the Hatrack population at large would handle such an event.

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ClaudiaTherese
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Oh, pantless with hesitation, totally.
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LordKaosnix
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Drop Trough
Unfold my knife
Slide blade slowly down my leg
Blunt on skin
Edge slightly away
Get under the Spider before he notices
Flick it away
Raise Trough swiftly
Stomp the life out of spider

~Kn

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Tante Shvester
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rivka,
That's a nasty case of subjunctivitis you've got there.

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ElJay
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Pants are gone. Don't care where I am, big hairy spiders are worse than nudity.
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BannaOj
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There is a dance called the Tarentella... it normally has a pretty frantic triplet rythmn pattern to it.

AJ

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Gryphonesse
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I'd be worried about killing the spider... I always wanted a tarantula

BUGS on the other hand - everything below the waist is GONE and I'm a screaming streak headed to the bathroom to check my butt crack in the mirror. How do I know? It's happened. In about ten seconds flat. My best friend's daughter still laughs when she talks about my "Happy Dance"...

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kojabu
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I think I'd be doing that dance (the Tarentella) to get the spider out of my pants. And I'd totally be freaking out.
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advice for robots
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Probably about 20 seconds of blind panic which would include knocking off the tarantula, removing the pants and throwing them, and running, along with expletives.

Then I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere near the spot I was standing.

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Belle
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*points to afr's post*

Ditto.

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Jhai
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This thread is like talk of snakes crawling up toilets while you're on them. There are some places your mind just shouldn't go.

I've got the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. [Angst]

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kojabu
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Ah! I don't want to think about that! The spider in the pants is slightly more tolerable than snakes up a toilet! Ah!
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arevoj
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I wouldn't "do" anything, having just dropped dead from the heart attack which occurred upon realizing there was a tarantula in my pants.

btw,
quote:
who had been surprised by a tarantula crawling up inside her pants while she was on the computer.
[Angst] I would never have thought to worry about such a thing... until now. Luckily, there aren't many (any?) tarantulas just walking about around here. At least I hope there aren't.

edit: addition

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Rico
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Wait, why would a tarantula be in my pants? Did you put it there? Why would you do something like that, we don't even know each other!

And what are you doing putting things in my pants anyhow?

*mutters* People these days...

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advice for robots
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"Is that a tarantula in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"
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T_Smith
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I still stand by my reasoning that if there was a tarantula in my pants and it crawled out on it's own, I would catch it and sell it on EBAY.

However, if it was still in my pants at the time I noticed it there, I would see if I could reach into my pants to grab the thing. If not, I would immediately take my pants off and capture it, and sell it on EBAY for even more.

I mean... if you saw a object that said "THIS SPIDER WAS IN MY PANTS!!!" with a very articulate story behind it, you'd bid on it. I could probably make a good 30 bucks off that. Probably 50 if I threatened to kill it.

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Dagonee
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If you threatened to feed a hamster to it, you'd hit three digits easy.
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Hamson
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quote:
Originally posted by T_Smith:
I mean... if you saw a object that said "THIS SPIDER WAS IN MY PANTS!!!" with a very articulate story behind it, you'd bid on it. I could probably make a good 30 bucks off that. Probably 50 if I threatened to kill it.

[ROFL] [ROFL] [ROFL] Funniest. Thing. Ever.
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Sid Meier
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lol, 30 seconds of stunned panic then wild screaming, I had a similar experiance with a giant bumblebee buzzing straigh for my eyes, I was sitting down so I leaned my chair backwards and fell over.
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Olivet
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To clarify, I think they are fairly common where the girl lives, if I have the story straight. She felt something tickling, shook her pant leg, and a tarantula fell out.

If that happened to me, I'd freak right the heck out, for at least a minute. THEN I'd catch it and show it to the boys. Or maybe scare the bejebus out of my husband, the arachnophobe. [Big Grin]

If this happened to him, he would spray the whole house before he went to bed, even if it took floodlights on at 3am.

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Dagonee
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quote:
I was sitting down so I leaned my chair backwards and fell over.
I hope you weren't hurt, but the mental image when I read this was funny as hell.
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J T Stryker
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I'd be bitten and die.... no doubt...
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rivka
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Olivet, danke. [Kiss]
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Olivet
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[Smile] Happy to please! [Smile]
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The Reader
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I would start crying, wet my pants, and pass out, because when it comes to spiders, I am a huge wuss. The bigger the spider, the bigger the wuss. When I wake up, I would hope that it wasn't digesting my, uh, parts.

And the little hairs that it shoots would just add insult to injury.

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Verily the Younger
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*is pleased that he has finally learned how to get a girl out of her pants*
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raventh1
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I like spiders.
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Sid Meier
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even camel spiders?
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Tstorm
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I've had spiders crawl on me before. If I knew it was a poisonous variety, I might wait it out, until it left my pants. Non-poisonous, then it's dead. On the spot.

Shower...

Then chemical warfare.

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Avadaru
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I would certainly become hysterical. I become hysterical when I SEE spiders. I have run into brick walls before when I even think I have one on me, just trying to get away from it. I have a completely irrational fear of them. I hate, hate, hate spiders.
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Daric
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I just don't wear pants. Solves most of my problems. Still can't get a date to homecoming for some reason though.
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ketchupqueen
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My sister put her pet tarantula down the back of my nightgown once.

I screamed and ran around and almost squished it.

In my defense, I was 9 at the time.

[ August 06, 2005, 03:53 AM: Message edited by: ketchupqueen ]

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mackillian
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You don't need a defense. I'm 25 and if my sister did that to me, I'd react the same as you did at 9.

And then I would hunt down my sister. [Mad]

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Will B
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What I would do:

years of therapy.

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Belle
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When we were both teens my brother chased me around the house with crawfish heads on his fingers.

He and my stepdad had been eating them (my mother and I were too civilized to eat such nastiness) and when he finished he put crawfish heads on all ten fingers and chased me.

I did not like it, not at all.

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mackillian
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[ROFL]

A friend of mine from Georgia had never had lobster other than the easy man's way (already out of the shell, etc). So, unsuspecting, she ordered lobster while visiting me up here.

Out came the lobster nicely done up on a plate at the restaurant, still fully intact and pleasantly red.

My friend= [Eek!]

However, she was brave and attempting eating the lobster, all while feel sorry for the poor creature, bless its heart.

Me, being the friend I am, pointed out that his eyes were still looking at her. Then another friend with us picked UP the lobster and made it dance.

That was the end of my friend eating the lobster.

I don't think she's forgiven us for that.

We did send her a stuffed lobster for christmas. [Big Grin]

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Dead_Horse
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Mmmm...stuffed with crab?
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Daric
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THAT would be an expensive gift.
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Sid Meier
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[ROFL] => [Laugh] Lobster
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jebus202
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Probably freak out, definitly start smashing it through my pants.
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Dante
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Talk about topical...my girlfriend's cousin got back from a camping trip yesterday, and as he was taking off his pants, he noticed a tarantula in them.

As it was related to me, he screamed and ran out of the room. His mom and sister didn't believe him, so they went in, saw the thing, screamed and ran out of the room. Finally his dad went in and caught it in a mason jar.

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