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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Rules that I shall abide by....

   
Author Topic: Rules that I shall abide by....
J T Stryker
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All of these rules have come from events that ended badly or ideas that I was ordered to never try. Feel free to add more...

1. I am to never ask any female other than Marry Ellis if they've taken their midol yet.

2. I shall never wear a dress again.

3. I will never again dump a girl because her roommate is hotter.

4. I will not burn down any more buildings without Momma K's prior approval.

5. I will not run through the hot coals of the above mentioned fire like i did last time.

6. I will not play fire ball with jack any more (it involved a gasoline soaked toilet paper roll and two "catching mits")

7. I will not let the fire "hug me" again.

8. I will never again sleep in a teepee with an open fire.

9. I will never suggest nude sleding again.

10. If I break the previous rule, I will not actually do it this time.

11. I will not ask Arron how big of a hole jacks head will make in anything.

12. I will not ask "how high do you think I'd fly if..." ever again

13. I will not try to impress people with my "skills"

14. Espeacailly skills that involve: fire, cars, ropes, guns, kinfes, cherry pickers, or any animals.

16. I will bring the same girl home that I took to the dance (unless other plans are made in advance).

17. I will not use Gasoline to "light the runway" while sleding.

18. I will not sell my soul twice in the same day.

19. If thinking about it gets me excted, then I should not try it.

20. I will never again have a drinking compition with a welsh man.

21. The cherry picker is not a repelling tower and I should not use it as one.
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Corwin
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Remember:

quote:
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
[Evil Laugh]

And boy, did you actually DO all those things?! Wow... o_O
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J T Stryker
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All except the last one, I got caught before I made my desent....
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Corwin
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Ugh... At this rate you'll find something you actually won't be ABLE to do again... Just sayin'...
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J T Stryker
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Hence rule 19

19. If thinking about it gets me excited, then I should not try it.
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blacwolve
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This is all you can think of?

How about:

22. I will not spread rumors just for the fun of it.
23. If I do, they will not be about Kara's brother and force Kara to spend the next 3 years cleaning up after me.
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starlooker
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I will not, under any circumstances, have more than one shot of butterscotch schnapps a night.
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Sartorius
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[ROFL]
How are you not dead?
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TomDavidson
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He has friends he doesn't deserve who've bailed him out. [Smile]
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Stan the man
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I will never again be the only person in my group that drinks tequila
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J T Stryker
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quote:
How are you not dead?
Good question....

quote:
He has friends he doesn't deserve who've bailed him out.
Your right about one part, I do have freinds i don't deserve....
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Shan
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quote:
will not, under any circumstances, have more than one shot of butterscotch schnapps a night.
Such sacrilege!

Butterscotch schnapps should include at least TWO shots, on ice, sipped slowly with great respect.

*sighs happily in remembrance*
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mothertree
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You sound a lot like my high school physics teacher who had the most amazing stories about applied physics. You can add to your list:

-Don't shoot an arrow straight into the air to see if it really comes down at the same speed it went up.
-Don't invent what will someday be called paragliding from a speeding truck with a blanket between your arms as a chute. (0h, and no tether, your buddies catch you as you pass from the cab to the tailgate).
-If you design a propeller driven pickup truck, use real propellers rather than nailed together lumber. (nails aren't strong enough to hold on propeller blades, one flies off and the motor vibrates the truck into the ground before anyone shut it off. In any case, don't use the car engine as your motor.)

And some practical knowledge from my father in law: When attaching a motor designed for 10 times the boat to your homemade boat, you need a lot of ballast or it will flip like a trained poodled.
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ElJay
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No no no no, butterscotch schnapps belongs in hot apple cidar. *yum*
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Bob the Lawyer
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quote:
13. I will not try to impress people with my "skills"
From what I've seen around here, you'd do well to cut out the last 3 words and add that to your credo.
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TMedina
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Butterscotch schnapps, Bailey's Irish and Kahlua.

Yum.

Oh and "flip like a trained poodle." [Laugh]

-Trevor

Edit: For spelling.

[ April 18, 2005, 12:46 AM: Message edited by: TMedina ]
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Book
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Can said skills pay the bills?

Oh, Futurama, how I love thee..
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breyerchic04
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I think he's played fire lacrosse since he wrote this [Razz]
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Stan the man
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quote:
9. I will never suggest nude sleding again
[Eek!] Had anyone told you the effects that cold temperatures have on a man???
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TMedina
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Just don't take any dares involving frozen flag poles...

-Trevor
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